NEW SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH 
FROM BANNER LABS!

SHAFT, Inc. Presents:

FUBU-S:TM From the same laboratory that produced the Gamma Serum and the Super Soldier Serum now comes a revolutionary product that’s available to anyone!  Yes, now you too can experience the superhuman boost of an Ultimates Formula!

Fury’s Undercover Brother Ultimate—SerumTM was invented by Dr. Bruce Banner almost by accident.  His first attempt to recreate the Super Soldier Serum – the secret formula that transformed wimpy Steve Rogers into the superheroic Captain America back in World War II – inadvertently produced the Gamma Serum.  Budget cuts forced him to test it on himself, and the Incredible Hulk was born.

While the Gamma – or Hulk – Serum is certainly impressive, it is not without drawbacks.  Side effects include severe mood swings, emotional outbursts, job insecurity, liability for property damage, and ever-skyrocketing wardrobe expenses.  Therefore it was decided that the Hulk Serum could not be marketed to the public in good conscience.

The FUBU Serum, a patented combination of secret components, has been refined to avoid such problems.  While it does not instill in the recipient a low tolerance for stress, like the Hulk Serum, or outdated patriotism, like the Super Soldier Serum, it does convey a serious attitude adjustment.  It doesn’t turn you Mean and Green, or make you wear Red, White, and Blue.  FUBU-S brings you Back in Black!  That’s right: one dose of FUBU-S and it’s a whole new you! 


Not convinced?  Check out these testimonials:

Nick Fury had a life-changing experience.  Between the FUBU Serum and the SHIELD brainwashing, his consciousness was unexpectedly altered.  He started his own international organization, SHAFT, and once it became apparent that he was a man that would risk his neck for his brother man, there was a mass exodus of superheroes and agents from SHIELD all clamoring to join up.  Can ya dig it?

“See my before-and-afters?  ‘Nuff said.”

Once upon a time, Carl Lucas was in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.  Then SHIELD scientist Dr. Banner approached him with an offer he couldn’t refuse: early parole if he volunteered for a Super Soldier Serum experiment.  Lucas jumped at the chance, and became the first person to be injected with the experimental FUBU Serum.  Since he was already African-American, the extra boost of blackness gave him powers and abilities far beyond those of normal brothers.

Gifted with steel-hard skin and superhuman strength,* he changed his name to Luke Cage: Power Man, and joined up as a SHIELD operative until he couldn’t stand taking orders from the Establishment anymore. He’s kept himself at the top of SHIELD’s shit list ever since.  

“I’m so bad, Nicholas Cage named himself after me.” **

* Results not typical.
 **It's true...look it up.


King T’Challa of Wakanda, along with artists’ impressions 
of his ceremonial Black Panther garb.

The FUBU Serum is still not FDA-approved, but SHAFT quickly found a way around that problem.  It might not be legal to manufacture and sell FUBU-S in America, but there’s no law against it in the African nation of Wakanda.  King T’Challa has allowed Dr. Banner to set up labs and production facilities in his country, and export the serum to the United States from there.

 

“As a scientist, I heartily endorse this amazing product.  It’s the best thing to come out of my country since Vibranium!”

Wilson Fisk was one of New York’s most successful businessmen until a Daily Bugle exposé sent him into hiding with the headline: "American Kingpin of Crime Caught Red-Handed On Tape, Whereabouts Unknown." But since purchasing the FUBU Serum from Dr. Banner on the black market and testing it on himself, he has returned to the Big Apple to reclaim his throne. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Fisk now has the sole contract to import FUBU-S into the U.S. from Wakanda. 

“Who else is SHAFT going to trust to smuggle their product past Customs?”  
Secret Service Agent James West was a little confused when a time-traveling vigilante from the 21st century arrived in 1880 to look him up, but it really wasn’t that unusual, compared to other phenomena he had experienced on the job.  He took it in stride when the black man told him his name was Frank Castle, a.k.a. the Punisher, and that in the future he’d had a General named Nick Fury introduce him to a scientist named Reed Richards so that he could borrow Richards’ time machine.  Castle gave West a dose of the FUBU Serum, and West’s taste in clothes improved immediately.

“You know what the difference between me and my old self is?  I make this look good.”

Ororo Munroe, a.k.a. Storm of the X-Men, reports being consistently more satisfied by men who use SHAFT's FUBU-S.  

“SHAFT has captured lightning in a bottle!” she proclaims.  “And I know that men care about my opinion on this subject.  Wolverine once paid me $500,000 just so he could videotape me while I sunbathed topless.”

Everyone's goal is unique. Maybe you need a new identity so you can disappear. Or maybe you just want to be able to dance, wear a baseball cap backwards, and please the honeys. Whatever your individual needs, FUBU-S will work for you!

Not sold in stores!  FUBU-S is manufactured at Banner Labs, a secret facility hidden deep in the jungles of Wakanda and surrounded by free-range dinosaurs.  Order Fury’s Undercover Brother Ultimate-Serum from this website or our 24-hour toll-free hotline.

Disclaimer:  Will FUBU-S make you as ultra-cool as Nick Fury, Agent of SHAFT?  There are no guarantees.  Dr. Banner theorizes that Fury is such a bad mutha because the Serum got mixed with the Infinity Formula already in his system and created a kick-ass cocktail. 

 But honestly--Look at yourself.  What have you got to lose?

See our ad in Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.A.F.T. #1, on sale now!

News Articles about FUBU-S, The Undercover Brother Serum:

Effect of FUBU-S on Captain America

Smallville Youth Busted for FUBU-S Use

Catwoman Committed to Arkham Asylum After Taking FUBU-S

Related Links:

Fisk Industries

Banner Labs

The Super Soldier Serum

Return to Agents of SHAFT!