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Nathaniel
Shockey
Read Nathaniel's bio and previous columns
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November 26, 2007
My Manhood’s On the
Line, But I Love ‘Dancing With the Stars’
I’ve been meaning to write about ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” for a
while, but embarrassment and inflated notions of manhood have
discouraged me up until now. So what changed? I’m not sure, but I did
stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Of course, any guy can fake his way through an excuse for watching the
show by referencing the skimpy outfits the girls tend to wear. Hell,
even the show uses that angle in its commercials. But I guess I might as
well just refute that sad excuse for watching right here and now.
The costumes the girls wear are much more bizarre than they are
scandalous. If Nicole Kidman was caught sporting anything the girls from
DWTS wear, within minutes she’d be ripped to shreds on every celebrity
gossip show, website and magazine for wearing the ugliest outfit since
Bjork wore poultry at the 2001 Oscars. Even Tom Bergeron, the show’s
host, said Jennie Garth looked like the Jolly Green Giant at one point.
DWTS takes generally attractive men and women and makes them look
ridiculous. Sorry, men. I didn’t mean to ruin it for you. Maybe later we
can drink some beer and watch “300”. (Seriously, my wife just got me
that movie as an early Christmas present. I’m so excited – I mean
pumped!)
And speaking of Tom Bergeron, he has got to be the best host on TV right
now, live or edited. I realize I’m not the first one to sing his
praises, but it’s absolutely true. He manages to be funny yet
inoffensive, edgy yet politically correct, and through all this, he
remains accessible to the average viewer. He can take the most awkward
situation and turn it into an opportunity to mindlessly shovel another
handful of popcorn into your mouth.
One of the things that drives me nuts about “American Idol” is that it’s
a popularity contest instead of a singing competition. The winners are
determined completely by the votes of the viewers. The winners of DWTS,
on the other hand, are at least partially determined by the judges’
scores. And for that matter, I think the judges are pretty legit. The
fact that I have actually never heard of some of the dancing terms they
use is, at least for me, reassuring. I tend to trust their opinions more
than my own, which is how it’s supposed to be when purported
“professionals” judge a form of art. For a culture in which the line
between that which sells and that which is actually good is so
incredibly ambiguous, a willingness to make the distinction is extremely
refreshing.
And now for the hardest thing to admit as a self-respecting, 21st
Century American male – here goes – maybe the best part of “Dancing With
the Stars” is the dancing part.
The romantic “dance like no one is watching” notion is really celebrated
on this show. There’s something purer and more exhilarating about the
Latin and Ballroom dances you see every Monday night than the flashy,
and perhaps even arrogant styles that are quickly becoming the face of
popular dancing in America. Art is a wonderful way to express human
emotion, and the range and honesty of emotion expressed by so many of
the dancers on DWTS can be truly moving. I don’t think it’s a
coincidence that all the stars on the show seem like such nice people.
It’s almost as if the art of dancing brings the joy out of them.
Of course, the show is not without its gimmicks. For example, there
really is no need for an hour-long results show every week. And a DWTS
tour? Yeah, there will be one of those, too. But obviously, any network
worth its salt is going to milk a winning formula for all it’s worth.
Television is one baby that simply requires bathwater.
“Dancing With the Stars” has so many things going for it that we could
very well be watching this show for decades, which is okay by me. And
for all the closet DWTS fans at home confused by the bizarre harmony
discovered between ballroom dancing and testosterone, feel free to join
me every Tuesday night after the show to watch “300” – you know, just in
case you’re still confused about your manhood.
© 2007
North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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