North Star Writers Group

I was 12 years old when I went to my first summer basketball camp. I was having trouble making free throws. I wanted to learn to shoot the ball like the big kids. There was one player who seemed to make his free throws no matter the day, time or moment in the game. I watched him closely.

He did the same thing before each free throw. He put his right foot behind the middle of the free-throw line. He bounced the basketball twice. He took the ball with both hands over his head until it touched the back of his neck. He bounced the ball twice more. He paused. Then he looked up at the basket and took his shot. And almost every time he made it. At the end of the camp I decided that I would use that same ritual before every one of my free throws. I wanted to make more shots.

Today, 30 years later, I am impressed with how many rituals athletes follow to help them perform at their best. Yet, most of us do not even use one daily ritual to bring out our best performance.

Think about your morning, for example. What do you do when you wake up? If you’re like most people you stumble out of bed, hit the shower, look for your clothes, mumble a few things to your family and drink a cup of coffee on your way to work. Your ritual is mostly hustle and hassle. Some days start out well, others badly.

In his book “Finding the Flow,” the co-founder of Positive Psychology, Mike Csikszentimihalyi, wrote “. . . the actual quality of life – what we do, and how we feel about it – will be determined by our thoughts and emotions, by the interpretations we give to chemical, biological and social processes.”

Most of us live our day like we play a slot machine – we pull the lever and then we see what happens. Instead Csikszentmihalyi suggests, “. . . the first step in improving the quality of life consists of engineering daily activities so that one gets the most rewarding experiences from them.”

Ask what the most successful people you know do at the start of their day. You’ll find that most of them follow a ritual that jump-starts their best self. They approach the beginning of their day with the same concentration they would have if they were stepping to the free-throw line.

Two years after basketball camp, I played in my first high school freshman basketball game. Our team was down by one point and I was standing at the free-throw line. There was no time left on the clock. I had a chance to make a free throw to put the game into overtime.

Just as the referee passed me the ball to take my shot, my mom walked into the gym. She stopped right in my line of sight. Now everyone was looking at me, including my mom. I was nervous. So I did my little ritual – two bounces, basketball behind my head, two more bounces, pause, and then I shot the ball. I held my breath as the ball arched high and toward the basket. And it went in! The fans cheered, and my teammates swarmed around me. And over their shoulders I saw my mom jumping up and down.

Positive rituals can help bring out your best in the big games of your life. They can also help bring out your best every day. What are your positive rituals?

The next two columns will further explore the power and meaning behind positive daily rituals. What can you do to make every day a good one?

David J. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, and an internationally sought-after speaker and seminar leader on how to apply the science of Positive Psychology to business and life. Mr. Pollay is the founder and president of The Momentum Project. Mr. Pollay holds a Master’s Degree in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, and an Economics Degree from Yale University. E-mail him at david@themomentumproject.com, or call 561.265.1165.

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