North Star Writers Group

No car, no mini-van, no SUV scares me. I can squeeze anything in no matter what you drive. You can call my trunk-packing a sort of strength. I can do it consistently well and I enjoy doing it. Over the years I’ve volunteered to pack the family trunk thousands of times. And I’ve been called in for the most difficult of jobs. I’m the “go-to” guy of trunk-packing.

Now, of course, there’s a beginning to every success story. Here’s mine. One day my Dad – everyone called him Big Lou – was having trouble finding a place in the trunk for one last bag. As he stepped back to take a better look, I stepped forward, adjusted three bags and slipped the final bag into place. I felt like I had just laid down the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle. I looked up at Big Lou. Big Lou looked down at me, and said, “David, you’re a good packer.” I swelled with pride. I was nine years old.

Martin Seligman, co-founder of Positive Psychology, and Christopher Peterson, a leading Positive Psychology researcher at the University of Michigan, found in their research that by simply naming a strength in someone you amplify it. My dad named my strength over three decades ago. And he did more than that. Like a good leader, like a good father, my dad turned that experience into a story and he told everyone. And he made sure that I could hear him telling it.

Think about your employees. Think about your children. How many times have you named their strengths? And how often have they heard you proudly telling others about their strengths?

The best leaders know that their belief in their employees’ strengths has a positive impact on their performance. It also affects the goals their employees set. Stanford Psychology Professor Albert Bandura found in his research that “the goals held for others convey to them a belief in their capability to fulfill them.”

So the next time you notice your employees, your spouse or your children doing something very well, consider naming the strengths you see. Watch them light up. Watch how much more they use their strengths. They’ll apply them often and they’ll do it with pride. You’ll have made a difference.

Recently I stepped out of my car in the Toys R Us parking lot and I saw a young boy, his mother and his grandmother trying to squeeze his new bicycle into their car. I stopped and offered my help. Why? Because I’m a good packer.

For 10 minutes the boy and I struggled to find a way to get the bike in the car. We came close many times. But, finally, the mother called the boy’s father and said that they might not be able to bring the bike home. But I wouldn’t give up. Why? Because I’m a good packer.

A few minutes later, I paused and thought we might not actually be able to get the bike in the car. I stepped back and the little boy saw my face and said, “Wait.” He reached in, grabbed the front tire, moved it ever so slightly and said to me, “Push.” And I did. The bike slipped right into place.

I saw him light up with pride. I smiled, walked over to him, put my hand on his shoulder, and said, “You’re a good packer.”

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