North Star Writers Group

Three weeks ago I was shopping in an office supply store. I stepped up to the check-out counter when it was my turn to pay. The clerk behind the cash register was wearing a name badge that said “Dane.” And below his name read “In Training.”

I said, “Dane, how’s your training going?” He stopped. He looked to his left. He looked to his right. Then he leaned into me and said, “I’m not actually in training anymore.”

I started laughing! “What?” I said. “Then why are you wearing a badge that says “In Training?”

Here’s what he said: “When I was in training I learned a lot more, and people were friendlier to me.”

As I left the store and slowly walked out to my car I thought “He’s right. You do learn more and people are friendlier to you when you’re in training.” Here’s why.

When you declare to the world that you are in training and that you want to learn, you become a student. And when you tell the world that you are a student, people want to help you. They want to teach you. You are essentially telling other people that they have strengths, knowledge, skills and experience that you believe are valuable and that you appreciate.

Let me check something out with you. Pretend for a moment that your child, or your spouse, or your employee says this to you, “I would like to learn from you. It would mean a lot if you would help me.” How would you feel? My bet is that you feel good right now just thinking about it. We all like to think we have something to offer our children, our husband or wife and our employees.

People are friendlier to us when we are humble enough to ask for help.

We are also demonstrating our curiosity when we seek assistance. We are telegraphing to the world that we are on a search for new ways to do, see or experience things. In their book Character Strengths and Virtues, leading Positive Psychologists Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson point to research that shows that when people demonstrate curiosity, people learn more, are more engaged and perform better academically and at work. Curiosity leads to better performance.

So now I think of Dane when I catch myself acting as if I “know” something. Rather than prove what I know to everyone, I listen and try to see what else I can learn.

All this reminds me of my first bus trip from LaGuardia Airport to Manhattan, 22 years ago. I hopped on the bus and took my seat. I then turned to someone across the aisle and said, “Hi. I don’t know my way around here. Do you know how to get to Madison Square Garden from this bus line?”

I still laugh when I think about what happened next. The person across from me immediately started giving me directions. And then not one, not two, but three other people started sharing their “best way” to get to Madison Square Garden. They all wanted to help! And that felt great!

People want to help people who want to learn. So now I say to myself when I head out from home, “David, are you wearing your badge today?”

How about you? What does your badge say?

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