North Star Writers Group

Have you ever said something like this to yourself? “I have a dream. I want to do what I love every day. Yet, I don’t know how to get there. I have too many responsibilities right now. I am too busy. When things slow down, I’ll figure out what to do.”

Most of us are affected by this thinking at some point in time. We keep our dreams locked up inside. We wait for another day.

It’s time to break this cycle of thinking. Stop limiting yourself. Let other people help you think about how you can achieve your dreams. Call in their mind power.

Consider this. You’re at a party and someone says, “What are you up to?” How would you respond? Most of the time I hear people fumble through their answers. They say things like, “Not much. Business is good. Family’s good. How about you?”

Why waste time boring yourself and others with answers like these. Skip that stuff. Let other people share in your passion. Ask for their ideas and advice. Most people will feel closer to you as a result. And those who show no interest in your passion are better left alone. There’s no need to spend much time with people who do not care about what matters to you.

“People who report high levels of commitment and involvement in their goals show a high level of well-being and low distress,” reported psychology researchers Jari-Erik Nurmi and Katariina Salmela-Aro in a chapter they wrote in A Life Worth Living by Mihaly and Isabella Csikszentmihalyi.

Here’s how I like to respond to the “what are you up to?” question. I say, “I’m having fun writing my columns and working on a book. I’ve been learning a ton and meeting lots of fascinating people. You know, I’d love your thoughts on something.” I open myself to their feedback and give them a chance to contribute. Then I return the favor and ask them what they are focusing on. I try to engage them.

Heidi Goff, former MasterCard Division General Manager, once told me, “Always come ready with your paperwork to be signed.” Her point was that you should believe in your work enough that you are ready for someone to sign on the bottom line at any time.

Goff’s advice applies to meeting people. You should be ready to share your passion with others. People may be ready to help you right now.

You must trust yourself to know that you are committed to your dreams, that you are sincere in your desire to change your life. Don’t get caught up in an inner dialogue that questions your commitment to your passion. It won’t help you to repeat, “I’m not sure if I really want to do this or not, so I better not say anything.”

You have to trust that your dreams are real. You have to trust that while you might not yet have a plan to make your dreams a reality, you will. You believe in yourself. You have self-trust.

Fernando Flores and Robert Solomon, in their book Trust, wrote, “The freedom provided by trust is the freedom to think for oneself and speak up with one’s ideas. It includes as its consequence (not its cost) the freedom to be questioned and criticized – and the right to be recognized and (if deserving) rewarded.”

My mom’s mom used to say to us, “Don’t hide your light in a bushel basket.” My grandmother wanted us to get out and connect with people. “Let them know what you’re doing. Let them know what’s important to you.”

Share your dreams. Let people help you.

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