February 26, 2007

Moving Cheese With the Corporate Book Club

It started out as an ordinary day. I had four cups of coffee, pretended to read three memos and agreed to a meeting I figured I would need to wait two hours before canceling. It’s good to be the boss.

Or it was. Before Shermley spotted me peering out of my office.

“D.F.! I’ve been looking for you!”

“Shermley, I haven’t forgotten your request that I let you move into Bouvier’s old office. I’m really, really thinking about it.”

“No, D.F. I wanted to invite you to join our Corporate Book Club!”

Egad. The Corporate Book Club? This can’t be good. Did I dare ask?

“What, pray tell, is the Corporate Book Club?”

“That’s where we all read and discuss the books that teach us how to succeed at business, D.F. Today we discussed Who Moved My Cheese? Have you read Who Moved My Cheese? It’s just so right on. It’s about this mouse . . . ”

Well. So my employees are not only sitting around reading books instead of working, but they’re also spending time discussing the books.

“What else has the club been reading?”

“Have you read The Purple Cow? It’s about how every company has to do something with pizzazz to get people’s attention! Are we a purple cow, D.F.? Or are we just a brown one?”

If we’re a cow, I want some steak.

Business books have their place. Granted, that tends to be in the restroom. But I suppose if you want to read how to go from good to great, become a one-minute manager, move someone’s cheese and ready set sell, it’s better than reading porn on company time. In a spirited race.

But business books are safest when used by people who actually know how to think for themselves. Then they can be good discussion starters and thought provokers. When they get scary is when a person with no confidence in his or her own thoughts starts reading the business book of the week.

My favorite was the CEO of a translation company who paid a marketing firm thousands of dollars to develop a marketing strategy. I don’t know if it was the greatest strategy ever developed, but since she paid good money for it to be drawn up, you might think she would actually, you know, use it?

Not after being stranded in an airport for a couple of hours and reading Guerilla Marketing. There was your new plan! Until the next book she read . . .

“So what do you say, D.F.? Do you want to join the Corporate Book Club?”

I hated to disappoint Shermley. It’s sort of like disappointing your dog when he brings you your shoes. Then again, he did slobber all over them.

“Shermley, who else is in the Corporate Book Club?”

“Me, Bloshomes, Greezey and Leskowitz. We’re really learning a lot! Next week we’re going “All Covey All The Time.”

“Know what, Shermley? I hate to impede upon your learning, but I just remembered a project I have for you, Bloshomes, Greezey and Leskowitz. I’m afraid it’s going to take all your time – all four of you – for weeks on end.”

“Really, D.F.? Are we moving someone’s cheese? Are we one-minute managing?”

“Actually, I wanted the four of you to do a project called account management.”

“But that’s not a project. That’s our regular job!”

Kid catches on fast. Must have been reading some good books.

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