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October 4, 2006

Boardrooms of the Future: Dumb TV Inc.

 

Last night I had a crazy dream that a bunch of my former students were actually working for me. We all know that teaching something in the classroom, and doing it as your profession, are two different things, and I’ve been living in the world of both for awhile now. The dream was scary, but not as scary as I think the real future of boardroom conversations are going to be in 20-25 years, when some of these men and women are in leadership positions at companies across the nation.  I figure that each television show that’s currently being watched by a 20-something will have an effect on their business skills.

 

The boardroom meeting of the future will probably go a little something like this, based on the influence of television:

 

First, they’ve been watching the “Real World”, which today is anything but. I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked, not everybody I know was drop-dead gorgeous, drunk and sexually promiscuous. So, I’m guessing that “Real World” fans around the world will approach meetings as a “stage” to get themselves to the next level, just like all the actor “wannabes” that currently grace MTV’s popular show.

 

They’ll probably show up to the meeting wearing something skimpy. Then, they’ll flirt with each other in the hopes of becoming the next company relationship scandal, which in turn, will get them recognized by others – not in a respectful way, of course, but will that matter to them?   

 

What would be really cool would be if we could videotape what we really think about people in meetings, and show it to them after we’re already gone from the company. We could act like we’ll never see those people again, and like burning bridges is just as easy in business as it is on television.

 

Then, there’s my other favorite (not!) MTV show, “NEXT”.  On “NEXT”, a young man or woman gets to interview prospective partners for a few minutes. If they don’t like them for any reason whatsoever, they just yell “next” and that person gets back on a bus and heads for home.

 

Now, how might that be in the business world?  Some of it would certainly be positive.  This would really come in handy when you regret a hiring decision you’ve made.  We’ve all been there – someone looks great on paper, interviews well, but is sick by day three, totally inept by day 12, and everyone else in the office hates them by Day 30.  You could waltz into HR’s office, say “Next!” and bam!  Someone new is there the next day, bringing along the hope and promise of a productive, intelligent employee.  (Until Day 60 when you realize that just the sound of their voice is literally grating on your last nerve).

 

But for the most part, thinking about how the reality TV generation might live by this philosophy in the business world scares me because I’ll be their boss.  They might not like me, yell “Next” and then I’ll be the one who’s replaced.

 

And then there’s “Survivor”. It would be great if everybody would treat each other as if a million dollars were on the line. Heck, that could make for a highly pleasant work environment!  It would also help foster openness and honesty. We could all gather together at tribal council and be forced by an impartial moderator to answer questions like, “How do you feel your relationship with Janet is impacting your team?” 

 

The problem is that too much openness and honesty is like a real life round of “Jeopardy”.  Answer the questions wrong enough times in a row, and I can guarantee that you won’t be back tomorrow.

 

Finally, perhaps “American Idol” would wield the most powerful impact on business. Everybody has one of two desires – to be the on-stage talent, or to be Simon-the-Smartass guy who gets to say whatever he’s thinking and be a hero for it. The former would get dressed to the nines every day, and come in prepared to do their best every day. But let’s be honest. Most of us would rather shun the spotlight and get to be the one who ruins everybody else’s self-esteem. So, once we leave the room, everybody’s cussing us out behind our backs.

 

I guess the good thing is that all reality shows have what I call the grandma effect. Eventually, you know that your grandmother is probably going to see – along with a million other viewers – what you did, the choices you made, and your behavior, good or bad.  So if you ever want to be invited to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner again, you better be good!  Now there’s a philosophy we could all use in business!

 

© 2006 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

 

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