Back when I was in high school, a tradition called Spirit Week was fairly common. Homecoming Week. Basketball Home Opener Week. Prom Week. All of those weeks when something the administration deemed “spirit-worthy” was happening. Why they never declared the last week of school, or for that matter, the last week before Christmas or Spring Break to be spirit week, I have no idea. After all, that’s what the majority of us were actually excited about.

Still, Spirit Week, with all of its Days of Dorkiness, was kind of fun. I remember one of my favorites – mix-n-match day. I could dress like my normal self – flowered stretch pants and a striped shirt – and not be made fun of. (What can I say? It was the ’80s!) Another classic? Pajama day! Rolling out of bed and straight into homeroom was incredible, ruined only by the high-maintenance girls who put on their make-up first and made the rest of look – well, like we look in real life.

So, when I run a company someday, I’ve decided that Corporate Spirit Week is a must. We’ll do it before long weekends, like Thanksgiving. And once a month in the summer. I’ve already got my themes planned out.

Monday will be Dress Like Your Kids Day. Those without kids can choose a child to dress like. Now, my son is a year old. And while I know they make adult diapers, I’m not sure about the onesie with the orange sweet potato stains on it, but I can do my best. Some of my coworkers will have to show up in t-ball uniforms, local restaurant-sponsor logo included.

Others, those with teenagers, will have to sport low rise jeans, and somehow affix their cell phones to their ears for the entire day. Just think of the creativity that will flow as parents throughout the company design their costumes!

Tuesday will have to be Team Spirit day, because if we’re going to relive the days of high school dorkiness, we’re going to do it right! Of course, simply wearing your favorite team’s t-shirt or ball cap won’t do. You’ll have to dress like one of the players. At 4’10”, I’ve no idea how I’ll pull off my LeBron James look, but I’m thinking I’ll start with the bling. As a female, I’ve at least got a little bit of that lying around.

On Wednesday, we’ll have to do Dress Like Your Favorite Coworker Day. Of course, since I’ll own the company, everyone will dress like me just to suck up. I’m pregnant right now, so I especially can’t wait to see some of the guys in their maternity dresses. Most of all, I’ll be laughing later that night thinking of all the pain they’ll be going through when they pull the tape off their hairy bellies to remove their pillows.

Hopefully, I’ll get to dress up like a guy who wears a lot of Hawaiian shirts. Those are my favorite, but frankly, they’re just not attractive on women. It could be the way they hang sort of shapeless around the waist, or that the collars are big enough to hide our upper body curves. But on this day, it won’t matter. Hawaiian shirt it is – with all the flowers and colors I can muster!

On Thursday, just like they did in high school, I’ll open it up to my employees for suggestions. Once we had Nike Day, until someone called the local newspaper to complain that the school was promoting an expensive brand that 90 percent of our families couldn’t afford. And boy, was I glad to be saved from painting a fake swoosh on my Kmart shoes!

Again, I’m sure the creative freedom I give my employees will produce astounding, brilliant results. Maybe we’ll have Crazy Hair Day, like my nephew did at daycare. He spiked it, painted red and orange flames in it, and went off proud as punch, calling himself Lightning McQueen all day. Maybe we’ll all get to be characters from our favorite movies. I’ll get to walk around with a cigarette, a beer and a winter coat on as Timothy Hutton from “Beautiful Girls”. My husband would get to carry some sort of Uzi and talk about his “little friend” all day.

No matter what, Thursday might be the greatest day of Corporate Spirit Week, if it weren’t for Friday, when we’ll simply have to revive Pajama Day. Only this time, no make-up allowed. If I’m going to scare my cubicle-mates with purple under-eye bags, so are you, Miss Maintenance!                       

© 2007 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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