North Star Writers Group

Have you ever worked where Steven Covey's “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” was required reading? I have! I've also worked where his trainings were required, as was attendance at his local public appearances.

Steve's great, and with all due respect to him, I say that a companion book – “The Seven Habits of Highly Annoying People” – is quite necessary. After all, you can pick up his seven habits, but if you haven't learned mine, you might not get anywhere in business. People will be too busy laughing at you behind your back.

The first habit – Talking in lists. Yeah, you know the type. Somewhere along the line, they were taught that if you don’t speak in lists, people won’t remember anything. In some situations, that might work. But stop taking it so far. In day-to-day conversations, please drop the habit. I don’t need to hear, “There are five reasons why I quit drinking caffeine. One…” or “There are four reasons why I cleaned out my garage this weekend. One…”

The second habit – Drawing unnecessary diagrams. I used to work with a guy who drew one for every conversation held at every meeting. It was usually some sort of circle with arms, but on occasion, he’d get crazy and draw connected boxes. Oooh. Aaah. Actually, what we were all thinking was, “I’m not a moron. I can understand you without the green versus blue shaded boxes.” The only people who should invent diagrams off the top of their heads are – nobody. Leave it to the trained professionals, the research department!

The third habit – Existing without a sense of humor. It amazes me how many businessfolk have adopted this habit. They can’t possibly be like that at home, or nobody would stay married to them. And I don’t remember an MBA class titled Stodginess 601, so how did all these people come to forget that the world doesn’t turn on its axis because our project exists? Be happy. You have a job. You’re doing it adequately or else you wouldn’t be here. So, have a little fun. It’s OK to smile if the green marker doesn’t work and you need it for your diagram. Don’t throw it across the room.

The fourth habit – Taking things too personally. I say we turn sensitivity training on its side. Instead, teach a class about giving people thicker skin. At 4’10” tall, I’ve taken my share of ribbing and my share of stupid people asking me if I’m old enough to hold my position in business. Guess what? I’ve yet to sue anybody over this. I’ve yet to even start a screaming match or cast a dirty look. So, next time someone says a report you worked on was less than stellar, suck it up! They think you’re not competent? Prove them wrong. Don’t sulk around, get mad, talk about that person behind their back. Forget all that. If it’s a serious offense, report it upwards and let it go. If it’s not, just get back to work.

The fifth habit – Reading too many business books. Trust me. I’ve done it before, and I still can’t remember who moved my cheese, or where my cheese even is. I couldn’t tell you if I’ve adopted the fourth habit effectively or thrown it out of the window – although, probably the latter. I can tell you that if you took our company from good to great, there might be a book about you. You probably didn’t, so forget about it. My recommendation? Watch a good movie, and come into the office the next day being capable of making a real conversation with people who work for you.

The sixth habit – Talking louder to make your point. I probably don’t need to expand upon this one. Just stop talking in all capital letters highlighted in red. Because the louder you get, all I can think about is my dog. It’s cute when he barks a few times because he sees something outside. That’s his job. But when he barks loudly and incessantly for attention? I ignore him, scold him or cage him. And that is what I’d like to do to you. Shhh!

The seventh habit – Oversharing. I find under-sharing to be the best policy in business. Unless we’re friends – you know, going to lunch or the gym together, seeing each other socially outside of work, etc. – then I don’t want to know that your boyfriend’s in jail or the nine reasons why you have a headache this morning. My favorite is when people overshare at large meetings. Instead, they should draw a diagram of their problems, make copies, and pass them out. That way, only their time is wasted.

Covey recently released his book about the eighth habit of highly effective people. You could go out and read it right away. Or you could reflect on the eighth most annoying thing that you do and fix it.

I’m pulling for the latter, and odds are, so are your coworkers.

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This is Column # CD28. Request permission to publish here.