North Star Writers Group

I mean, are the people at that TV station telling me that the people at the other TV stations in town aren’t on my side? Can I expect to receive a letter soon from the other two stations that begins “Dear Mr. Batz: We, the management of TV station so-and-so have decided after careful consideration that we are no longer on your side. This is just a note to let you know about our decision. Please don’t take it personally.”

Before the other station started broadcasting the “We are on your side” slogan, I never really thought much about which TV stations were on my side and which ones weren’t. Gullible me, I just took it for granted that all of the stations were on my side. Or at least kind of on my side, anyway.

Now, thanks to that oft-repeated on-screen message “We are on your side,” I’m not so sure.

Furthermore, if that message is meant to imply that folks at the other TV stations aren’t on my side, what did I do to make them feel that way? Did they somehow find out that maybe I snuck a peek at the offerings of a rival TV station while they were on a commercial break? Or perhaps they learned I didn’t run right out and purchase a new car from one of screaming auto dealers who advertise on their station.

Then again, maybe the message “We are on your side,” simply implies that the people at that station are on everybody’s side, no matter your education, your religion or whether or not you own your own home. Now that makes sense to me because the more viewers you have, the better your ratings are. And if you have great ratings, which translates to more viewers, you can air claims that you are “The No. 1 station in the Miami Valley.”

I don’t understand what good it does you to have a TV station on your side. Will the station protect me if I suddenly find myself in danger? If that’s the case, wouldn’t I be better off having somebody else on my side besides the employees of a TV station, like maybe a professional boxer?

In the meantime, I‘ve limited my TV-watching, at least for now, anyway, to the other two stations.

Nah! Nah!

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