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Gaming's Weirdest Walks

Feature: When animation goes bad
Walking - it's a simple thing to do. But it's absolute nightmare to animate realistically, which is why some games, even with today's tech, make a pig's ear of it. Sometimes with hilarious results. And it's these results we're interested in.

Why some games make the simple task of putting one foot in front look like we've gone over on an ankle (which bloody hurts), we don't know? They should know better.

But here's a selection of our favourite comedy gaming walks, along with videos to give you a clear picture of what in the hell we're talking about.

CoD 4 - The Soldier Shuffle


War isn't funny. But it would be if soldiers ran around like the ones in Call of Duty 4. Odd-bod run animation looks more like your granddad hobbling for the bus. We're not the only one's to have noticed - people have made videos dedicated to the comedy, like the one above.

GTA IV - The Niko Lean


This one's so glaring we're surprised it made it through QA. Niko Bellic runs like a motorbike. Sure, people in real life lean into corners when running, but Niko almost gets a full 45 degree angle lean on, and he doesn't even run that fast. Look in the video as he runs from the helicopter to the hospital.

Syphon Filter - The Catrun


We've seen how models glide along Catwalks swaying their hips from side-to-side in an over-exaggerated manner. If there was such thing as a catrun, Gabriel Logan, star of Syphon Filter on PSone, would be the master of the technique. Look how he shakes his ass as he runs, with a giant square torso that looks like he's wearing a rucksack full of bricks. Genius.


Resident Evil 2 - The Spin Walk


Forget the moonwalk. This is where Jacko got the idea from. Future Kings of Pop will be the ones who can to the turn walk, as illustrated by Capcom. To perform the soon-to-be hip new dancing crazy, you turn on the spot while moving your legs and feet in a walking motion. Observe Leon Kennedy performing the move to perfection in Resident Evil 2. Warning: you may need to butter the floor and defy the laws of physics to recreate this one.

Spore - The Penis Monster Poke


Give boys the ability to create anything they want, and monsters with enormous cocks is what they'll produce first. We really don't need to say any more, just watch the video. It still cracks us up.

Metal Gear Solid - The Stairway Super Sprint


Despite being a series with some of the highest production values of any game, it seems Konami still hasn't quite grasped how to make they're super sneak man run and, even more noticeably, climb stairs properly. His legs motor away like pistons in an engine, and he looks like he's doing the doggy paddle. Skip to 5:30 in this video and watch him swim through a corridor and motor up a staircase in MGS2.

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Posted by Rigger Rigby
Syphon filter was an amazing game!
Posted by $$johnman$$
Yet fps games where you can look at your feet are flawless? why is this so?
Posted by AegisK
Aw, I miss Syphon Filter. Just a shame they could never capture the original game in a next gen remake. That'd be sweeet.
Posted by bobhoffnee
2 things...

Firstly: Where's the walk from Morrowind? When you went into Third person camera view the dude look like he was trying to walk with piles.

Secondly: Penis monsters will one day rule the world.
Posted by Vampyre
The COD4 one is seriously camp and funny.

The others are just symptoms of 3D graphics tech of the time (and Niko's swerving is fine (although a little bit too leaned-over admittedly)).

There are many that haven't been mentioned - how about Oblivion in third-person where consistently hammering jump up a hill makes your avatar look like he's floating all of the way up?

I like the way they (Bethesda) solved it in Fallout 3 by making the character bend his/hers legs as he/she lands on solid ground.
Posted by VirtualCrack
Jesus, the most pathethic CVG feature yet! What next... the most poorly rendered index fingers in videogame history?
Posted by TezChi
Wow that Syphon Filter footage, excellent game!
Posted by RumbleThunder
Spycrab, Team Fortress 2?
Posted by The_KFD_Case
:lol: I find the way your character jumps in Fallout 3 atrociously hilarious. The guy or gal looks like he/she is a flat-footed gimp with all the grace of an elephant trying to do the ballet.
Posted by trooperdx3117
Seriously no Bethesda games her at all, they may be good at making massive RPGs that suck up your life and massive landscapes but they can't model or animate for s***
Posted by BlindFish
Agreed - lame and with some priceless grammar errors:



What is the world coming to? :?
Posted by B0MBJ4CK
Always thought Frank West from Dead Rising walked around like his trousers were full of shit!

I suppose Franks sphincter could'nt cope with all those zombies!
Posted by ensabahnur
why have Voldo on the front page when he's not even mentioned in the article?
Posted by Robodonkey
Has anyone here ever played Serious Sam? He walked like he was in perpetual battle with his own bowels, nevermind the evil forces of Mental.
Posted by drummer4breeze
That spore video is hilarious, especially the deliberate crouching :)
Posted by freds1
I'd forgotten how fun a headshot with a tazer in Syphon Filter was :D
Read all 16 commentsPost a Comment
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