Peta

• There's been an arrest in the case of Brangelina's stolen baby shower photos; still no clue who unleashed those horrid Britney pics, though. [R&M;]
• In other Brangelina legal news: a Jordanian man tries to embezzle $23,000 with a fake ID bearing Brad Pitt's picture. [Reuters]
• Josh Duhamel pounds on a bathroom door at Vegas nightclub Bella, the occupant of which was taking too long. The door opens, out comes Tommy Lee, and suddenly Duhamel is on the floor. Never mess with a man's toot time. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's Tahitian honeymoon is crashed by Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, who are staying at the same resort, brining with them plenty of paparazzi. [IMDb]
• The ladies of The View are just a bunch of harpies. [NYDN]
• The Polish-American Congress brands Garry Trudeau a bigot because of a character named Kaminski in his Doonesbury cartoons. It would figure that a bunch of stupid polocks wouldn't get the joke. [Lowdown]
• The Glasgow Hilton refuses to give Paris Hilton a corporate discount. The Scotland tourism board couldn't have bought better publicity. [Page Six]
• A naked Pam Anderson just ain't what it used to be. [TMZ]

• Brandon Davis checks into Malibu's Passages rehab center, not to be confused with Malibu's Promises rehab center. For $75,000 a month, they'll help Davis treat his addiction to firecrotches and Paris Hilton's coke spoon. [InTouch]
• Unfortunately for Page Six, their top story is that Davis had refused to go. Those damn newspaper deadlines. [Page Six]
• For the first time, Tom Cruise has had a project taken away from him and given to a less crazy movie star by the name of George Clooney. We're still conflicted about Clooney, but he's better than Cap'n Crazyfuck. [Fox411]
• Vince Vaughn's mother invests $25 million into a fraudulent hedge fund. Vince Vaughn invests $25 million into keeping her away from the family bank account. [R&M;]
• Kevin Federline has a job -- and, unlike the hip-hop gig, this one pays actual money. He's modeling for Blue Marlin clothing, and Britney's so proud that he can sit still for the cameras like a big boy. [Page Six]
• Michael Eisner has no idea where he is, what he's done, or who he's talking to. [Lowdown]
• PETA goes after Beyonce Knowles, interrupting her overpriced omakase at Nobu to interrogate her about the use of fur in her clothing line. TMZ has the video, but it just shows Solange Knowles looking bored out of her mind. [TMZ]

PETA, never to leave a protest opportunity unexploited, took their pleather parade to 4 Times Square during lunch today. Next up, they'll dump red paint on Meryl Streep -- the suits at 20th Century Fox just wet themselves over this kind of free synergy.

By the time we learned of Paris Hilton getting flour dumped on her by the folks from PETA, who hit London's Fashion Week for some more anti-fur circus tricks, we were far too exhausted to put any real effort into finding pictures of the incident. Thankfully, lovely bloggers do our work for us:

That's Paris on the left, behind the explosion of white powder. Right where she belongs.

A picture of the aftermath is after the jump. more »

• For those of you hungering for an update on Star Wars Fight Club -- the creation of a Staten Island bus driver who encouraged students to use scissors at light sabers and earn nicknames like Darth and Sith Warrior -- we've got some bad news: It seems that Lord Matt, one of the best fighters on the starship Death Cheese, has been grounded by his parents. [NYDN]
• Maybe an hour after it's reported that when he shot his friend in the face, Vice-President Cheney was throwing back a few cans of Natty Light, the comment is removed from the story. We love the First Amendment, don't you? [Thought Crimes]
• PETA dumps flour on Paris Hilton as she opens Julien Macdonald's show at London Fashion Week. Uh, pictures? Anyone? Please? [BBC]
• Battle of the bloggers' cute homodogs: Ollie's beagle vs. Andrew Sullivan's pup. [Boozhy]
• Viva Long Island. [Clublife]
• Notes from the Norfolk, Virginia, Substance Abuse Services Providers Fair 2006, Waterside Convention Center. [YPR]
• Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free...because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. [Sploid]

• Lindsay Lohan and mother Dina bond by watching naked women slut it up in the Hotel Gansevoort's hot tub. All tuckered out from that maternal quality time, Lohan took frequent trips to the bathroom with Nicky Hilton. Just another Monday afternoon, we're sure. [Lowdown (last item)]
• Billionaire and professional divorcé Ron Perelman has allegedly been pursuing a lookalike of estranged wife Ellen Barkin (but, of course, the new version is younger), which is making Barkin behave like a rabid dog. [Page Six]
• Unfortunately, Brian Quintanta -- the man who scored a restraining order against Paris Hilton -- might be the only person on earth who lies more than the heiress herself. [R&M;]
• Brangelina rents a highly-secure apartment in Paris to hold them over while they search for a proper sex fortress in the South of France. [Page Six]
• PETA takes aim at VP Dick Cheney, who just shot his hunting buddy. Republican cronies deserve to be ethically treated, too? [Scoop]
• Shannen Doherty, who cares little for "right of way" or some such garbage, slams her Range Rover into a civilian's car. First Brandon crashes his racecar, and now Brenda does this. It's been a rough couple of seasons. [TMZ]

• Mort Zuckerman pulls the plug on Radar; hearts are broken, dreams are shattered, and business cards are destroyed.
• The Transit Workers' Union goes on half-strike, which means we'll continue to wait for news on when shit gets really inconveniencing.
• Now that Michael Cooke has ditched the Daily News, editorial director Martin Dunn is so inconvenienced to act as editor-in-chief. Meanwhile, Orla Healy returns from the Post and Lloyd Grove finds himself an innocent, new fluffer.
• There's no time like the holidays for some serious, ass-kicking lay-offs.
• We never thought we'd see the day, but Andrew Krucoff is finally, technically, a man.
• MediaLand continues to celebrate the season with boozy staff parties; New York magazine goes so far as to bring out the Karaoke torture device.
• Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. gets a gentle spanking while Judy Miller hits the high seas.
• PETA continues to cheerfully annoy Anna Wintour.

• Taking a breather from Anna Wintour, PETA lists Paris Hilton as their worst-dressed celebrity. Other honorees include Kimberly Stewart and Tara Reid, because being a skank hurts the fuzzy animals. [Scoop]
• Ashley Olsen is late to Karl Lagerfeld's show at the Chanel store, then fails to recognize the designer when he waves to her. Such unacceptable behavior, you'd think Olsen were raised as a civilian or some such. [Page Six]
• The cab-stealing continues: Bill Maher swipes a taxi from a man with a BABY in a SNOWSTORM. Next up, stealing cabs from paraplegics with broken breathing tubes. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Don't you hate it when your cock is so huge that it has to be digitally erased? Oh, you don't have that problem? Scoff. [Page Six]
• Nancy Grace of CNN is suing her stalker for damages. Just so long as she keeps paying attention to him! [R&M;]

Even if we occasionally tire of their aggressive media omnipresence, you have to hand it to the scrappy soldiers at PETA. Not content to let more than 2 days pass without coverage of their harassment of fur-bedecked Vogue editor Anna Wintour (it was just Monday that they plastered the Four Seasons urinals with Wintour stickers), now PETA is sending holiday cards to the entire Vogue staff.

The cards (above, click to enlarge and see the interior) are charming, indeed, but we can't imagine Wintour being even slightly offended by the depiction. So long as she's pictured as impossibly svelte, bitch is as happy as a frozen clam.

PETA Sends Vogue Holiday Jeer [Radar]

Page Six reported today that PETA, in posession of stickers bearing Anna Wintour's trademark snarl, would be decorating the urinals at the Vogue editor's favorite locales. We put it to our readers to get outside and document the stickering -- and, because the internet moves that fast, we've received proof of PETA's mischief (click to enlarge) at the Four Seasons. Doesn't Anna look completely at home in the urinals? We always suspected she was the type to piss standing up.

Earlier: Gossip Roundup: PETA Pees Near Anna Wintour

• PETA places stickers featuring Anna Wintour's luverly visage on urinals, knowingly located at venues frequented by the Voguester. We're counting on you to catch some images of the campaign (at Da Silvano, La Esquina, and the Four Seasons) before management is forced to remove the handiwork. [Page Six]
• Madonna waltzes into the Mercer Kitchen and seduces hotelier Andre Balazs for a solid 10 minutes. Balazs's girlfriend, actress Uma Thurman, seemed to not notice -- or, perhaps, care. Madge ain't much competition these days. [Lowdown]
• As a nice complement to Katie Couric's own retardation, a poet within NBC has penned a holiday-appopriate ode to the Today princess: "'Tis right before seven, On the set of 'Today,' There struts a smug diva, Who wants things her way." [Page Six]
• The New Yorker's Ken Auletta rips Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. a new one in the latest issue of the mag. [R&M;]
• How does Jessica Simpson deal with an ugly breakup? Collagen, natch, because your first rebound hook-up goes so much more smoothly when you're sporting a nice set of DSLs. [Scoop (last item)]

• We contacted indie filmfreak Vincent Gallo this morning for comment and have yet to hear back on the matter, but it seems that for just $1 million dollars, you can buy some of his sperm. If you're Chloe Sevigny, it's free of charge. [VG]
• It's come to our attention that all Viacom employees -- i.e., roughly two-thirds of NYC -- are now unable to receive IMs that contain links. The point of this? We don't really know, but golly, we're tired of the man holding you down!
• Yesterday, Radar reported that hip-hop magazine The Source has been unable to pay its rent. So are they evicted yet? [For Myself and Others]
• The seller offers no proof of authenticity, but you know you're just stupid enough to pay $1750 for a cocktail dress reportedly belonging to Paris Hilton. Helpful tip: the shame is less palpable if you do your bidding drunk. [eBay]
• Need your own militant activist to throw red paint on your enemies? PETA is auctioning off their president, Ingrid Newkirk, for an entire day of furry fun. [AdFreak]

• Actor Leonardo DiCaprio and supermodel Giselle Bundchen have reportedly ended their relationship -- for real this time, and perhaps because of a third party. If this is the case, let's hope Leo cleans himself up a bit before heading back into the singles scene. [Page Six]
• Oh, the horror: Laguna Beach bad girl Kristin Cavalleri is dating poptard Aaron Carter. [Gatecrasher (3rd item)]
• Ted Koppel prays for Good Morning America co-host Charlie Gibson to replace the late Peter Jennings at the ABC evening newsdesk; GMA first lady Diane Sawyer commissions Haitian housemaid to create Koppel voodoo dolls. [Lowdown]
• Notorious fagodrome the Roxy, accused of admitting underage patrons, meets the long arm of the law just in time to wreck their gay ol' Halloween party. And so the war on fun continues. [Page Six]
• PETA narrows its gaze on Prince Charles, who it intends to harass on his forthcoming visit to the states. Apparently the royal guards use real bearskin on their helmets, which has the animal-rights group's knickers in a bunch. [Scoop]

• In more PETA news, the organization has kidnapped Anna Nicole Smith's dogs and forced them to protest Iams pet food. Anna Nicole, however, thinks Iams tastes great. [AP/Yahoo]
• Details has a major scoop: Colin Farrell drinks beer! And next month, Details water as being really wet. [Hollywood Machine]
• Best name for a college sex column: Cornellingus. [The Atlantic (subscription req'd)]
• Men don't read. They also can't listen, don't understand you, and never take you anywhere nice. [BusinessWeek]
• Voice gossipette Michael Musto cannot be blamed for Gawker's sins. [NY Blade]
• Has anyone yet figured out why Manhattan smells like pancakes? Is it terror sugar? [AP/ABC]
• Project Runway reject Austin Scarlett thinks blackface is always in style. [PMc]
• Shame on Daily News staffer Bill Hutchinson for failing to note that jailed rapper Lil' Kim's lyrics channel the genius of Biggie Smalls. [NYDN]
• Depeche Mode tickets can be yours for just a little breast grope. Okay, not really a little grope -- it's got to be at least 10 minutes' worth of heavy petting. [Craigslist]

A cameraphone-armed spy in front of the Conde Nast Building earlier this afternoon reports:

in front of conde now... maybe a dozen to 15 witches... cops are standing by... people walking by while witches cackle... very good anna masks.

A dozen protesters? Upstairs, we're sure Anna was locked in her office, crying her little eyes out.

Or else she's just as bored of these PETA stunts as we are.

Earlier: Without Anna Wintour, Would There Be a PETA?

We're going to go out on a limb here and just admit that, at this point, we're a little tired of PETA's militant antics. Yes, baby animals are cuddly and precious, and no, we don't think you should kill a kitten in order to have a new collar for your coat. But PETA's relentlessly self-promoting activism is striking us as a little tacky. We only mention our discontent because this morning, like so many others, brings their latest press release:

Wearing Anna Wintour masks and witches hats and holding signs that read, Anna Wintour: Fur Witch, dozens of PETA members will mark Halloween by gathering outside the office of the evil Vogue editor at 12 noon tomorrow [today?] to protest her morbid relationship with fur.

And we're sure Wintour will abandon her 2-hour lunch just to stick around and be affected by this moving demonstration.

GAWKER EXCLUSIVE!!! For your viewing pleasure, we're proud to present the first publicity stills from the set of Vogue editor Anna Wintour's cinematic gang-bang debut, The Wintour 500.

Anti-Fur Group Cream Pies American Vogue's Wintour [Reuters]

• The world's mysteries explained: Wintour spawn Bee Schaffer was toting a 46-lb. copy of The Iliad around Fashion Week because Columbia University MADE HER. Fashion and education are an ugly combination, indeed. [The Daily]
• Yankee Alex Rodriguez treats his mistresses right, takes wife to swingers parties. [Deadspin]
• We believe that President Bush is hitting the bottle. We don't believe it was because of the devastation in New Orleans. He didn't seem bothered enough by that whole mess to fall off the wagon. [National Enquirer]
• The MTA orders a cease-and-desist for the maker of those beloved iPod subway maps. [ISM]
• Never pay retail for your TimesSelect. [John Tabin]
• Pam Anderson deprives Veuve Clicquot drinkers of their God-given right to live penguin entertainment. [Mr. Mickey]