i skipped church for the first time in over a year. a year invested in that church and im left with regrets, a whole lotta what ifs and a heavy heart. everything was falling apart and i just kept holding on hoping things will turn back to normal but its too late i spose. too much pride too many backs turned but nobody willing to turn the other cheek eventho thats what they preach at church. whatever happened to forgive and love one another (this is from a song isnt it? oohwee help me out)?
spent this past sunday putting up christmas lights outside and now our house looks like some mescan fiesta instead of the whole candy cane look i was going for...
merry christmas everyone...if i dont come back before then. sorry to those to read this (oohwee, lady di, jabroni) thanks for wasting your time with me :)
ive been listenin to too much kpop lately and its been makin me all depressed and lame. i feel as if ive been dumped by my man or ive been cheated on and cant get over it or im the cheater and sorry that ive caused him heartache. haha...stupid korean songs. >.<
so...imma "change clothes" and search back for the hip hop in me. i shall start with jay z's new album that drops today. what is it about his lips that just makes me wanna...
a few weeks ago i went down to houston with the usual crowd for a night of karaoke fun at smokey smoke song noraebang. i usually favor the much cleaner family joint, click but it closes too early so i was forced to sing while inhaling stale cigarette smoke. there seemed to be a rowdy crowd in the room next to us and one of the guys went over to check it out. apparently it was one of my younger cousins and his group of ggangpaes bouncin off the walls, smokin and drinkin and God knows what else. ugh. how embarassing that you go out for fun and find out your cousin whos like 7 years younger than you is partying it up in the same establishment...at freakin 3am...AISH~~
anywho, trying to talk some sense into the fool. he was such a good kid...a mamas boy that i used to watch when he just a little fobby egg that i used to order around. now hes about to go to college and talkin to me about sat's and applications...geez im getting old...
my attempt of being the tough older sister mode:
lxXBoOsTXxl: 832******* charliez1004: what lxXBoOsTXxl: That's ma new number charliez1004: dont you have school? lxXBoOsTXxl: I am in class lxXBoOsTXxl: Iam using my phone lxXBoOsTXxl: ^^ charliez1004: jal nat da lxXBoOsTXxl: Thanks charliez1004: you better straighten up foo charliez1004: i dont wanna keep hearing things about you lxXBoOsTXxl: ?? charliez1004: you know what im talking about lxXBoOsTXxl: Someone talk shit?? lxXBoOsTXxl: About song? charliez1004: im serious...stop hangin out with those crackheads lxXBoOsTXxl: Crackheads?? charliez1004: ugh...go learn something lxXBoOsTXxl: Wut did u hear?? lxXBoOsTXxl: That iam drinking?? lxXBoOsTXxl: Wut is it this time?? charliez1004: i was there fool charliez1004: if you dont wanna hear stuff then stop hangin out with kids that do stuff like that lxXBoOsTXxl: As long as I know wut doin ill be ok charliez1004: you better stop smoking ssagaji lxXBoOsTXxl: Ok charliez1004: im serious foo lxXBoOsTXxl: Ok charliez1004: if i find out that youre still smoking youre dead
had a pretty crap day. woke up feeling cold and alone which is weird since its usually around 6am and im just barely tryin to brush my teefs while lying in bed attempting to get a few more seconds of sleep. called up a friend at an unreasonably early hour and of course it was bad timing...called again and once again bad timing. had to go down to houston and watch the store cuz the aunt is sick again. called up the friend during the long drive and of course...BAD TIMING. text msg'ed oohwee to make plans for tonight but he had some "important" dinner commitment. =( sitting at that store for 4 hours can drive anyone mad. i picked up my phone and starting going down the phone list. managed to catch the friend but the said friend chose to nap over keeping me company. =( came home skipped dinner and watched tv hoping to catch my new hobby law and order SVU but find out that it comes on on tues. *sigh* wanted to play a few rounds of solitaire showdown with j unni but she was on the phone....ARGH!!! i feel pathetic. i should just sleep.
gotta drive down to houston again during morning traffic and stay at the stupid store for 10 hours straight. maybe ill go check out what they have at the liquor store next door....yeah...sounds good. *perks*
oohwees in ny and i remembered the link someone gave me of streaming webcams in new york. i would always watch people walk by whenever i wanted to visit. anywho, i called up oohwee and he agreed to go up to some of the cams off 7th ave. near mtv studio and all that jazz. muahaha. it was funtimes. i got his sister to see and moria joined in on the voyeuristic fun. we got him to walk around and wave at us from each cam. hee~~
might be going to ny sometime next month but its still in the air. i wish i wish...
i cant seem to make up my mind about our church situation. i want to continue going to the english ministry but the our praise team is now just me. i liked the fact that my parents and i sorta went to the same church on sundays cuz after both services, we ate together and had fellowship. now, we wont even have that. its hard cuz i want the best of both churches and i may just have to attend both churches on sundays. hopefully there wont be any problems if i do.
after the meeting on saturday, i was totally upset towards someone and now i cant seem to hold the grudge. eventho its partially the reason why we are now separate separate, i cant continue to tell myself to hold the grudge. ive always been like this. even with my parents, we could have the biggest fall out and i would swear that i would run away or never talk to them again but the next day i go back to my merry self. errrr.
had to attend a meeting with my dad to talk with an american church about buying some land with them for our church...by "our church" i mean the korean church but somewhere towards the middle of the meeting it just turned into "my church". oye, i could never be a spy. anywho when we were introducing ourselves i made it clear that i was just here to help translate cuz i belonged to the english ministry but as the meeting continued, i started warming up to the idea of building our own church. my parents actually think and in due time i would just transfer over to their church. a small part of me knows this is true but right now i cant admit to that...i couldnt do that to our church right now. but in the end i know that i will always be a family first kinda gal...no matter how much i deny it. my parents have brain washed me well.
