I tried. I really did. But no matter how much I lower my standards, this book remains utter tripe. It is horribly poorly written, with some of the most unrealistic characters you can (or, hopefully, can't) imagine. Oh my!, indeed. In the end I found myself progressing at a pace of 2 pages per week, and I even read entire books in between 50 shades sessions. It was that bad. On page 425 (of 514) I decided to stop throwing good reading hours after bad. This means I got to read about roughly 40 shades. Hours of my life I wish I could get back. Oh, and those of you who think this book is an eye-opener when it comes to sex, your love life must be pretty pathetic.
This is how the book is marketed: "Romantic, liberating and totally addictive, Fifty Shades of Grey is a novel that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you for ever." It is possibly romantic if you lived in the age of Genghis Khan, liberating if you lived in the age of Queen Victoria, and addictive if you put a line of coke on every page. It stretches the definition of the word "novel" to a hitherto unimagined degree, it totally fails to obsess or possess (in any good way, at least). I can only hope that the "stay with you for ever" bit is an empty threat.