The curse of the December birthday

My brother was born on December 23. My Mom and Dad brought him home from the hospital on Christmas Day--yet Santa seemed to be the one who delivered the swaddled bundle, along with the sparkling red bike I received that year.

My brother's December 23 birthday made the first few days of his life festive. We have lots of photos of a tiny baby in front of brilliantly lit tree. Later, it proved challenging.

Throwing a birthday party in December proved to be a nerve-racking experience. My brother's little elementary school fiends never showed up. They were skiing in Tahoe or at the Nutcracker with family. My mom eventually moved the festivities to spring when school was in session.

Today, the December 23 birthday works out well for my brother because his high school friends return for the holidays and he gets to go out drinking with his best buddies. But the present problem persists.

My brother always gets stuck with "birthmas gifts"--usually one big gift that's for both his birthday and Christmas, or two smaller gifts, both always wrapped in holiday paper. I'm even guilty of given these combo gifts.

My brother isn't alone. Over at BabyCenter's Momformation blog Betsy Shaw writes about having a December birthday:

While a Christmas baby may sound romantic, I always kind of wished my special day didn't compete so closely with a stress-filled national holiday. Competing with baby Jesus for attention is no-win situation. Thankfully, our family dog, a beagle mix named Victor, had a birthday the day before mine, so I had someone to commiserate with.

Now Shaw has a child with a December birthday and she tries to find ways to make the day special. "We always wait until after her birthday is over to get our Christmas tree..." she writes. "And I do my best not to wrap her birthday present in Christmas paper."

Any December birthdays out there? Do you see it as a curse, or a blessing?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | December 15 2010 at 12:46 PM

Some bounce houses contain unsafe levels of lead

Inflatable bounce houses are all the rage for children's birthday parties, but parents might want to think twice before renting one--or at least ask some questions about what they're getting.

An investigation by a California advocacy group has found that lead from bounce houses can expose children to the toxic chemical at levels violating California law.

One bounce house tested by the Center for Environmental Health (CEH) in Oakland contained more than 70 times the federal limit for lead in children's products under the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act.

The investigation has prompted lawsuits to be filed today by CEH and the California Attorney General against leading makers, distributors and suppliers of bounce houses. Some of those companies include The Inflatable Store, Inc/Leisure Activities Co., Ltd. based in China; Cutting Edge Creations in Saint Paul, Minn.; and Funtastic Factory, Inc. dba Einflatables.com of Southern California.

"Kids at birthday parties can spend hours playing in bounce houses," Attorney General Edmund G. Brown Jr., said in a statement. "The goal of our lawsuit is to eliminate any chance they will be exposed to lead while they're jumping around having a good time."

Bounce houses are often made with vinyl (polyvinyl chloride, or PVC); tpyicaly bounce house manufacturers purchase the vinyl from an independent vinyl manufacturer. This type of plastic often contains lead.

The lead is transferred from the vinyl to a child's hand during play and then to the mouth.

CEH's testing showed parts of some bounce houses were contaminated with lead levels, ranging from 5,000 parts per million (ppm) to 29,000 ppm. Federal limits on lead in children's products are 90 ppm for painted surfaces and 300 ppm for all other parts.

The tested levels of lead are not high enough by themselves to cause acute health problems, but the American Academy of Pediatrics has said that there is no "safe level" of lead for children.

Lead accumulates in the body from multiple exposures over time and from multiple sources, and children's developing bodies absorb it at a higher rate and are more sensitive to its effects.

Lead is a neurotoxin that studies have shown can cause learning disorders, brain and nerve damage, hearing problems, stunted growth, and digestive problems.

SFGate reached out to the majority of companies involved in the lawsuit, and Magic Jump, Inc., based in Burbank, Calif., was the only one to respond.

A statement released by Arthur Bagumyan of Magic Jump said that the the vinyl tested by CEH came from a Magic Jump product manufactured in 2004. Now, the company produces all its products using vinyl manufactured from a supplier that has laboratory tests proving the safety of its product and that's compliant with all state and health regulations.

The statement also said:

Magic Jump Inc. would also like to emphasize that bounce houses have a general life span of 2 to 4 years, depending on the environment it is used in. Furthermore, the high level of lead concentration reported by CEH was discovered using a tool that does not guarantee 100% accuracy and was conducted outside of a laboratory setting....Overall, Magic Jump Inc. feels these accusations should not be directed at bounce house manufacturers, but the suppliers that produce the vinyl. Also, the products that tested positive for high levels of lead mostly no longer in use, which highlights that Magic Jump Inc. is a responsible organization that is ready to take immediate action in resolving any violations it may encounter.

Stay tuned for updates on this story. SFGate is expecting to hear back from Pump It Up, the popular children's party place where kids can play around in rooms filled with bounce houses.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | August 11 2010 at 01:33 PM

Should kids write thank-you notes?

It seemed to take my 5-year-old son a full half-hour to write "thank you for the dog." His letters were big and crooked and filled the entire note card. "Tha" was the first line, "nk" and "Y" the second, "ou" the third. "For" was spelled "ofr," and "the" was so tiny you practically needed a magnifying glass to read it. The "D" in "dog" was randomly placed at the top of the page, while the "og" appeared in the lower right-hand corner.

Jean-Francois Champollion may have deciphered Egyptian heiroglyphics in 1822, but the French scholar would certainly be challenged by my son's writing.

My son was writing a thank-you note to his cousins in South Carolina who sent him a stuffed basset hound for Christmas. The animal closely resembled their dog, Daisy Doodle, who my son met and fell in love with over the Thanksgiving holiday. When he opened the present on Christmas Eve, he grabbed the dog's front paws and proceeded to dance across the kitchen floor singing, "Daisy Doodle! I love Daisy Doodle!" And ever since, he has slept with his head resting on Doodle's belly.

The gift was so clever and thoughtful that I decided it was time for my son to send his first handwritten thank you, even though he can barely scrawl his own name. On a scratch piece of paper, I wrote in big capital letters, "THANK YOU FOR THE DOG," and then I asked him to copy it onto a piece of stationery. Usually, I write the note and he just signs his name.

At the same table, I had his older sister, who is in first grade, working on thank-you notes to the cousins who sent her a doll as well as letters to grandparents. This was a serious thank-you-note-writing operation, but we ended up with only four addressed, stamped, and sealed envelopes and there are still lots of people to be thanked.

For the past few days I have debated whether to require my son to write thank-yous to his grandparents. And what about writing a note to my best-friend who mailed him a fleece top or one to his aunt who sent him a stuffed bear from Peru? It would be so much easier if I wrote the letter, or if I took a photo with the iPhone of my son holding his bear and then sent it off to auntie. When will we ever have another half-hour for my son to write "Thank you for the bear"?

And then an email arrived from one of the cousins: "We received the thank-you notes...They are soo special. Those little notes make the whole family smile!! So sweet!"

The thank you for the thank you was enough to nudge me to find time for another thank-you-note-writing operation.

Do you think kids should write thank-you notes? Is an email okay or should a thank-you note be written by hand?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | January 05 2010 at 07:33 AM

For those with birthdays near or on Christmas...

I'll never forget meeting my new baby brother for the first time. It was Christmas morning when he and my Mom came home from the hospital. My Mom put my brother in my arms and he squeaked. He seemed to arrive along with the sparkling red bike and other presents Santa left for me under the tree.

My brother's December 23 birthday certainly made the first few days of his life festive. We have lots of pictures of a tiny baby in front of the decorated tree. But later, it proved to be a challenge.

My mom eventually gave up on holding my brother's birthday party in December because nobody would show up. Everyone was out of town or had family visiting. She moved his party to the spring when the event could be held outside in sunny weather and when school was in session.

And then there's the present situation. My brother always gets stuck with "birthmas gifts"--usually one big gift that's for both his birthday and Christmas, or two smaller gifts, both always wrapped in holiday paper.

My brother isn't alone. In fact, there are Facebook groups for people in the same situation. "This is your Christmas and birthday gift!" has 99 members; "Just cos our birthday is near Xmas doesn't mean we want a joint pressie" has 22.

A columnist for the Belleville News-Democrat in Southwest Illinois writes about being stuck with a birthday close to Christmas: "My birthday was the day we'd pick out, chop down, set up and decorate the Christmas tree."

The writer has a child who was also born near Christmas and she's intent on making her kid's birthday special. "We have hosted two full-out birthday parties for her, but the difficulty of finding friends who were actually home was a hair-pulling experience and not one I really care to repeat," she writes. "So, this year, I need to come up with something special for us to do as a family for her birthday that doesn't involve trying to track down friends who are scattered around the state and the nation."

Today's parents with Christmas babies seem especially motivated to differentiate their children's birthdays from the holidays. A story in the Chicago Herald-News quotes several people who actually love their Christmas birthdays, thanks to their parents' efforts.

"On Christmas Day, my mom takes our tree down in the morning, and the rest of the day is my birthday," Christine Wyke, 10, told the paper. "It's a great day for a birthday. And nobody wraps my birthday gift in Christmas paper."

Adam Urbancic, 11, told the paper that his mom makes the day special by giving him double presents, appropriately wrapping some in birthday paper. Then they go to grandmother's for cake.

Do you have a Christmas birthday? Do you like it or wish you could move it to another month? Parents with kids born on or near Christmas: What have you done to make your children's birthdays special?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | December 27 2009 at 08:54 AM

Low-sugar birthday party

I rarely buy juice boxes, so when my kids go to a birthday party, they make a beeline for the cooler. After they chug down the first apple-grape cocktail, I say, "No more," but they always sneak another one or two. On weekends with more than one birthday party, my kids are each guzzling a six pack. And then there's all the cake, ice cream, pinata candy, and cookies. By Sunday afternoon, they're strung out on sugar.

This is why today I threw my son, Dante, a low-sugar party for his fourth birthday. Our cooler was filled with bottles of water (and beer). I served chips and salsa and carrots and hummus as snacks--none of those grahamy bears--and skipped the pinata. For the grand finale, I baked vanilla cupcakes, left them unfrosted, and stacked them in a pyramid. As I walked out to the table where my son was seated and all his friends were singing, I felt guilty without a true cake in hand. But the kids didn't notice that there weren't any "roses" to fight over and happily grabbed my homemade cupcakes. Well, except for one kid.

"These are yummy muffins."

"No cupcakes!" Dante said.

"But cupcakes have frosting!"

"Not my Mommy's!"

Anyone else tired of sugar-coated birthdays? What have you done to reduce the sweets at your parties?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | September 07 2008 at 09:38 PM

No-gifts birthday parties

Small-scale birthday parties are a hot topic these days. In a recent Chronicle article, "Throwing less-is-more birthday parties" Katherine Seligman writes, "Anxious about the economy, global warming and our national image as people who would rent a limo for a kid's party while a polar bear's ice floe melts, many are toning down the trappings of that classic annual ritual, the blowout birthday party. They are saying no to plastic toys and water bottles, paper plates, gift wrap and new toys. There is even a modest backlash against the goody bag, the sack of candy and plastic knickknacks usually thrust into each sticky hand at the end of parties."

A few years ago, I went so far as to do away with birthday gifts, well, sort of. Here's the story: It was my daughter's third birthday and I was in the midst of a serious "I'm going to save the world" phase. I felt that Paris didn't need more landfill-bound plastic junk. So I dreamed up the idea to ask Paris's friends to buy things for her preschool, which lacked fresh, clean toys. I asked her teachers to create a wish list of items they wanted for the classroom. The teachers were delighted and requested children's CDs, Ravensburger puzzles, Crayola markers, and Thomas the Train books. In each birthday invite, I enclosed a list and an explanation.

After I mailed out the invites, I panicked. What will people think of this? Will they think I'm weird? Will they think I'm depriving my daughter of her birthday fun?

A few days later, I heard from people and one friend found my requirement troubling: "How does Paris feel about this?" "Does she know she's not getting any gifts?" Another friend couldn't grasp the concept: "Why are you doing this" "I just don't get it." But the majority of people said, "Wow, what a great idea!"

Of course, on the day of the party, some people didn't follow the rules and brought one gift for Paris and another for the school. But most got into the spirit and shopped from the list.

I was concerned that Paris might feel cheated out of her birthday gifts but instead she excitedly brought bags of new toys to her school. One of her teachers teared up as Paris handed them to her. For weeks, she was the most popular kid in class because everyone knew her as the girl who provided the new stuff.

I know that I'm not the only one who has tried something like this. My son recently received a birthday invite that read "Please small or no gifts." Dante and I wrapped up some Crayola markers. I was torn on whether or not to bring them. I finally decided to bring them, and I hate to admit that it came down to me not wanting to feel embarrassed if we were the only ones to arrive empty handed.

My son's fourth birthday is around the corner and more than anything I want to print a big "No gifts" on the invite but I worry that he's at an older age where he would be disappointed to forgo the presents. Am I being stupid? Can a 4-year-old "living in the Bay Area" deal with a giftless party? Has anyone successfully taken the no-gifts approach with an older child? Anyone think this concept is ridiculous no matter the age?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | August 21 2008 at 08:00 AM

Toy-filled pinata

A girlfriend gave me a great idea for what to do with the baubles and trinkets kids receive in birthday party treat bags, at the dentist's office, from school carnivals. Collect them and stash them away in a safe place. When it's your kid's birthday party, stuff them into a pinata. You're reusing and recycling and all the parents will be so relieved when the pinata breaks open and candy doesn't come flying out.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | July 22 2008 at 11:46 AM

Happiness is a small birthday party

When I'm organizing my kids' birthday parties, I'm one of those who puts 50-plus people on the evite list. Why? Not sure. I guess I fear that no one will come and I figure the more people I invite the more likely we'll have someone there. Or maybe I worry about hurting someone's feelings because we left them off the list.

No matter, our parties always turn out to be huge bashes with herds of kids tearing through the house. We have fun but I'm usually stressed because I have to supply food and drink to the masses. And Paris always seems overwhelmed. At her 5-year-old party, she whispered in my ear, "When are all these people going to leave?"

Over the weekend, we attended a party that was the exact opposite. My friend Thais invited only relatives (grandparents, an aunt, a cousin) and our family to her son's two-year-old celebration. Because it was so small, she was able to cook a gourmet meal (lasagna made with homemade noodles) and buy a small but high-quality cake (made with organic Bi-Rite ice cream). Best of all, the adults had interesting conversations, the kids played happily together, and everyone went home relaxed rather than exhausted and overstimulated. I realized that the happiest birthdays are small ones.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | May 05 2008 at 03:40 PM