Today
Sections
More
Features
Displaying 1 - 10 of 46 |
Next »Activities
Will you make it until midnight this New Year's Eve? Updated!
Look for constant updates, below and in the comments, throughout the night. If a half hour passes and you don't hear from me, that probably means I fell asleep ...
As we've written about before, Dec. 31 is known in our household as Young Parents Get to Feel Like Losers Eve. My wife and I once went to awesome places and drank lots of alcohol and were totally conscious when the ball dropped on New Year's Eve. Since we had our first child, I think we're 2-for-5 in our quest to stay awake until midnight.
networkedblogs.com
"I'm sad because my parents are losers."
The low point came a few years ago, when we invited a few couples and their kids over, and pretended like 6 p.m. was midnight. It's hard to describe the feeling, but it was one of those things that sounded great in the planning stages and became extremely sad upon execution. Kind of like the time I decided it would be funny to eat a prom meal at Burger King ...
Since then, we've come to terms with what we have become. We're in the silent majority of parents who don't want to pay a babysitter, don't want to get wasted in front of our kids and have a typical bedtime of about 9:45 p.m. We're going to try to stay awake. But honestly, falling asleep on the couch in the middle of a movie and getting jolted awake by the sound of gunfire will feel like a small victory.
Will you be fighting to stay up until midnight tonight? Consider this your support group. If you're stuck at home, feel free to provide updates in the comments section tonight, including the time that you call it quits. No one will judge you here. (And if you manage to stay up past midnight, be sure to drop a taunting comment at 12:03 to celebrate/gloat at the rest of us.) Read More 'Will you make it until midnight this New Year's Eve? Updated!' »
| December 31 2010 at 05:20 PM
Pimp My Card Table: A Thanksgiving contest
I haven't even contacted the winners of our last contest yet, and The Poop bylaws clearly state that I can't start a new one until prizes are in the mail. But the timing isn't going to work unless I bend the rules here. So with my apologies and assurances that this is going to be taken care of swiftly, we're ready to announce ...
Pimp My Card Table: A Thanksgiving contest.
psmd.co.uk
Thanksgiving will never be the same ...
It sucks to get stuck at the little kids table on Thanksgiving. This is often a crappy table that's only used once a year, with a hodgepodge assortment of seating that often includes folding chairs, a computer chair or a piano stool. The numbers rarely work out right, so at least one adult (often a slightly heavy, single uncle) gets stuck at the little kids table.
But what if the little kids table was the most awesome table in the house -- so fabulous that everyone else at Thanksgiving was begging to sit there? The aim of this contest is to take the craftiness that we put into the Halloween contest and extend it to Thanksgiving dinner.
The rules are simple:
1. Use whatever materials and skills at your disposal to make one of your Thanksgiving tables look amazing. Pick flowers, make a tablescape, string lights around the side or overhead. Choose a jungle or princess theme, or work action figures into the motif. Let everyone at the table wear crafty themed hats. Anything you can think of to make everyone sitting at the other tables feel insanely jealous.
Read More 'Pimp My Card Table: A Thanksgiving contest' »| November 16 2010 at 11:33 AM
Crafty Halloween costumes: Ode to the hot glue gun
With anticipation building for The Poop's annual Super-Crafty Halloween Costume Contest, it seemed only right to take a moment to recognize the one thing that can turn those born without the Bedazzling gene into a costume-making, diorama-building, last-minute-school-project-saving Super Parent instantly.
toolmonger.com
You need this.
If you do not have a hot glue gun, go buy one now. Now. You need it. You might not know you need one, but you do. Or you will. At some point, your child will decide that the dinosaur diorama due tomorrow needs -- NEEDS -- rocks and trees and maybe some mossy looking stuff.
Or that the Halloween costume this year must be a parrot, a real-looking parrot with feathers. Lots and lots of individual feathers.
The answer? Hot glue gun.
Given our love of Halloween, we could not live without a glue gun. I can't think of a costume that we've made that hasn't included some hot glue to hem, bind, attach or otherwise hold stuff together instantly.
To get folks in the mood for The Poop costume contest (rules here) , I offer but a few examples demonstrating the wonder of the hot glue gun.
All the following were created for an annual themed Halloween party hosted by Angela Hill, an Oakland Tribune reporter, and her husband Mat. Their annual display in Alameda, described here, draws crowds from across the region. Read More 'Crafty Halloween costumes: Ode to the hot glue gun' »
| October 05 2010 at 04:22 PM
Better fort building for the 21st Century parent
One of my backup plans if this whole newspaper thing goes to hell is to start a boutique parenting magazine that concentrates solely on building structures out of household items including pillows, sofa cushions and blankets. "Modern Fort Building." Or maybe just "Fort."
kenyonreview.com
At my signal ... unleash hell!
I consider fort construction the ultimate rainy day activity. With two young boys, it's really the only activity I can think of that will keep them both occupied. My 4 1/2-year-old is starting to understand the concepts of engineering. And the almost 2-year-old is at an age where he thinks and acts exactly like a Barbarian horde. We can put him in his crib for 10 minutes, build our structure, let him loose, and from there it's pretty much exactly like the first scene in "Gladiator."
I have a hard time condensing all of the fort building knowledge I've gathered from my childhood and as a parent into one blog post -- especially one that I'm going to write in less than a half hour. This should really be a 46-part series. But I'm still going to throw together a few Fort Building 101 concepts below.
Your fort construction tips in the comments ... Read More 'Better fort building for the 21st Century parent' »
| January 18 2010 at 11:02 AM
Five exciting things I found while cleaning my basement
I'm on vacation this week, which used to mean going on a trip, or at the very least seeing a lot of movies and visiting record stores and taking naps. Since I've become a parent/homeowner, a week off usually means some kind of big home improvement project. This week's mission: organizing our basement.
Guess which cell phone is from 1994 ...
If you're planning to take care of an overdue-for-a-cleaning area in your house or apartment, I highly recommend watching a couple of episodes of A&E; network's "Hoarders" beforehand. In addition to being a thoroughly entertaining show, it will make you feel considerably better about your own mess.
Which is what I've been dealing with for the last 48 hours. For the past two-plus decades, I have been jamming things in boxes, and then mindlessly moving them to each new home. There are boxes in my basement that have moved from Burlingame to San Luis Obispo to Davis to Pismo Beach to Hollywood to San Francisco to Oakland without being opened once. Motivated to turn our cluttered but gigantic basement into a subterreanean gym like the one Mr. T worked out in "Rocky III," I've dedicated my vacation week to consolidating, throwing away, donating and recycling my 21 years worth of stuff. Needless to say, I've found some truly bizarre items.
Below are my current Top 5 exciting things I found while cleaning my basement. This could also be renamed (if you ask my wife) the Top 5 embarrassing things I found in my basement. She's particularly mortified by No. 2 ... Read More 'Five exciting things I found while cleaning my basement' »
| January 13 2010 at 06:10 AM
Life-size Candy Land tomorrow in San Francisco
My wife and daughter are right this second playing a game of Candy Land in the living room, and I can hear Emmeline screaming, "Oh my goodness! You got the ice cream card! You're such a lucky girl mommy!"
crabfisher.wordpress.com
We play this game upwards of 10 times a day. If there's any break in our daily action, I can turn around and see Emme holding the game in her hands, the slim package weighing down her arms, while she looks up with pleading, hopeful eyes.
"OK, fine," I tell her, "one game."
It's like toddler crack.
I actually like Candy Land -- even after playing it 5,000 times in the past week. It's cute, it's easy, it makes me dream of cookies and good lord man, the kid can't get enough of it. I draw the card that allows me to move up the board to Princess Frostine's land and I offer a subdued "yeah" while moving my piece along. Emme draws that card and she practically starts speaking in tongues. "Did you see what I got! I'm such a lucky girl today!"
With our household love of all things Candy Land, I was excited to read about an event Wednesday on Lombard Street in San Francisco. Read More 'Life-size Candy Land tomorrow in San Francisco ' »
| August 18 2009 at 04:22 PM
Dumb things we do as kids
I've been thinking a lot about at recent Jon Carroll column -- the one where he talks about a Michael Chabon essay on the disappearing "wanderings" of children.
ign.com
Even these kids didn't get into a stranger's car.
Instead of letting children roam free, we are increasingly locking them up, scared of predators and other danger.
Says Chabon: "This is the kind of door-to-door, all-encompassing escort service that we adults have contrived to provide for our children. We schedule their encounters for them, driving them to and from one another's houses so they never get a chance to discover the unexplored lands between. If they are lucky, we send them out to play in the backyard, where they can be safely fenced in and even, in extreme cases, monitored with security cameras."
As a child growing up in a suburb on the periphery of farmland, I spent entire days away from home -- out of touch, tripping through creeks, stealing pears from orchards, shooting frogs with slingshots and basically getting into all manner of dumb.
I wonder whether I'll be able to give my daughter that sense of freedom. Unlike me, she'll grow up in a big city, so her wanderings will be different, of course: Bus routes instead of orchards, MUNI tracks instead of creeks. But I wonder if -- and at what age -- the shackles will come off. I firmly believe it's important for her to discover her own world and make her own mistakes and fun, but it scares the bejesus out of me, because I think back on all the stupid things I did as a child and a cold shiver runs down my spine.
To wit, the Top Three Dumb Things I Did As a Child: Read More 'Dumb things we do as kids' »
| July 17 2009 at 03:42 PM
The wisdom of really, really old people ...
As I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing, my annual Spring Training vacation with two college friends is usually a memorable affair. Random dudes are photographed shirtless. Jack in the Box employees are terrorized. Stevie Nicks is blared from convertibles ...
howstuffworks.com
Think these kids might have some good advice now?
For years, my greatest shame during this trip -- even greater than the time I snarled "don't patronize me!" at the record store clerk who tried to compliment my purchase of Billy Joel's "Glass Houses" -- was the fact that I wasn't visiting my Uncle Laury, who lives about 15 minutes away in Scottsdale. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with my father's oldest sibling, who is 95 now. It just seemed strange and potentially disrespectful to suddenly break character from Evil Peter, and sit down for a visit with my nicest and oldest relative. I was worried I might start swearing, or instinctively shotgun a beer.
I made arrangements to visit Laury last year, and had a wonderful time. Since I've become a parent, I really appreciate the chance to pick the brains of older people -- especially ones who take the time to keep track of what's going on with younger generations. Laury is much more conservative than I am, but even after nearly a century on the planet he's open to new ideas and thinks each argument through carefully. I was pleased last year to see a large-print copy of "The Audacity of Hope" on his dresser.
This year, I came with a question. I'm facing the possibility of a layoff in the near future, and thinking a lot about what my family will go through during our current recession. And I can't think of anyone better to talk to than someone who lived through the Great Depression as a young adult. So I asked ...
"What advice would you give to young people with families who are worried about the economy?"
Read More 'The wisdom of really, really old people ...' »| April 06 2009 at 09:32 AM
The bright side of a work furlough ...
Furlough Fridays are about to hit, and my family and I are trying to consider it a nice, sweet glass of lemonade. Maybe my husband and I will get some dates, lunches, and adult "naps" in, hey! I'd love to raise the number of movies I see in the theater each year. Or even tackle a family baking project or two?
www.etftrends.com
This list will stay blank ...
This voluntary work furlough means my husband is taking unpaid days off each month. (We didn't need that full pay check, really!) However, if taking Furlough Fridays means my husband will continue to draw a paycheck with bennies, so it goes. Perhaps a few good Broke Guy Day Care posts will happen.
The great news is, my husband can have more time with our son. I'm thinking we'll sing, play, read and dance at home, and take walks in the 'hood. I told myself to not get overly excited and create a dreaded honey-do list for him; that's more stress and work that he doesn't need right now. Let's keep it positive: rather than hear my regular reports on the new and cute things Cip is up to, Oscar can experience it first hand. One weekday of Daddy time should create a stronger bond for them. I will likely (hopefully?) retain my number one status with my son. But I've always said that having breasts and lactating gives me an unfair advantage.
Read More 'The bright side of a work furlough ...' »| April 03 2009 at 03:05 PM
Picking up good habits at day care
It's true you will miss your child when he or she first heads off to day care or school. I felt sad and guilty when we first took my son to day care. My husband and I bickered constantly over who would deliver him to day care because we both hated seeing him cry and fuss. Tons of fun, right? For awhile, our mornings were dread filled and frantic, and I felt glum.
designerysigns.com
Start them young ...
Things did get better for my marriage and son in a matter of weeks. Now when we drop Cip off, he usually completely ignores us and starts eating or playing with the other "under age 2" tykes. He seems to be getting some sweet socializing and sharing down in the process. I also feel good knowing that he has a stand-in Grandma figure at the day care, who coos over him and has given herself the title of "Cip's Abuelita" (Grandma).
There are other general bonuses to day care that I'm sure apply to having a nanny, share care or related child care professional at home. Please feel free to add your own happy day care experiences in the comments (I may post another Day Care Nightmares if they come up).
Learning to Sleep: At night, I no longer gnash my teeth and feel like running from my apartment into the Mission streets. Getting -- and keeping -- my son to sleep made us all exhausted. He didn't like being in his crib, and could cry and scream for up to 45 minutes. The routine of daily naps at day care has lulled my son into becoming a champion sleeper. It did take around two weeks for this to happen, and the Abuelita had her work cut out for her. For example: I can usually cuddle and sing to him when he's tired and fussy for a limited time only. Because he is still nursing (it kinda shocks me, too), he at times paws my shirt and chest in a not-so-charming way. He can't do that with day care Abuelita ... or if he does, I guess we owe her an apology, stat. Read More 'Picking up good habits at day care' »
| March 26 2009 at 04:02 PM
more