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Infant beauty contests: Just win, baby
We feel bad for the other contestants. They don't know it yet, but they have no chance. Our baby is going to crush theirs.
It didn't start out like this, this feeling of predetermined victory. In the range of emotions that go hand and hand with what are, essentially, baby beauty contests, we began with revulsion.
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"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory." -- Gen. George S. Patton
"We'd never," we said.
Then humor.
"She'd pee on them before she'd pose for them."
Back to revulsion.
"These people are just sad."
Anger.
"Can't they just let kids be kids!"
And then, in the end, acceptance.
"We're totally going to enter her, and she's going. to. win!"
This is how it starts -- with a Baby Gap casting call here, and a "Bad Baby" calendar contest there. Pretty soon, we'll change her name to JonBenet and traipse her across the stage at the next "Little Miss Sunshine" event. Read More 'Infant beauty contests: Just win, baby' »
| October 23 2006 at 03:05 PM
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