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Friday, December 17, 2010
Back by popular demand ... the Santa Tantrum Awards!
We sponsor a lot of random contests on The Poop. By far the most prestigious is the Santa Tantrum Awards, which celebrates the iconic image of a child crying or screaming on St. Nick's lap. This year marks the sixth Santa Tantrum Awards in five years. (We had two in 2006 -- one in December and one in July. Don't ask. That was a weird year for the blog ...)
Courtesy Sarie Scully
The 2008 winner ...
Were starting the process considerably late this year. I considered discontinuing the awards -- in part because the Ugly Sweater Jubilee is going so well and in part because I was worried it had run its course. But after putting the matter to a vote on our Facebook fan page, The Poop readers voted overwhelmingly in favor of the continued celebration of crying children. I've never been prouder ...
The Rules: Help us welcome the holiday season by e-mailing a photo of your baby or toddler -- or yourself as a baby or toddler -- crying on Santa's lap to phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. No repeats from previous years, don't send someone else's photo and please don't do anything to make your child cry. Feel free to write a short e-mail to describe the scene -- unless you note otherwise, I'll assume your name and anything you write is OK to post on the blog. Please try to pick just one photo, no bigger than 1 MB if possible.
Bonus points if the department store Santa looks like he's in physical pain, or if there's a second non-crying child with an angelic look on their face. Photos of children crying next to Menorahs and Kwanzaa paraphernalia are equally welcome, of course.
Prizes will be awarded to the winners. All entries must be in by Christmas Eve and the winners will be announced the week following the holiday.
Here are the winners from the holidays in 2008 and 2007 and 2006. The winners from 2009 are below. Good luck! Read More 'Back by popular demand ... the Santa Tantrum Awards!' »
| Dec 17 at 07:02 AM
Thursday, December 16, 2010
It doesn't feel like the holidays without ...
I'm happy whenever I receive an assignment that puts me in my car during the noon to 4 p.m. time block, because I can listen to Damon Bruce on KNBR 1050. (@DamonBruce on Twitter.) He integrates popular culture into the show during segments like his daily Three-Play, where he asks the listeners to answer three loosely related questions -- at least one of which often has little or nothing to do with sports.
alternativeclassix.blogs.com
There's no need to be afraid ...
That's the long way of telling you I didn't come up with the topic for today's post: What in your life is mandatory for holiday cheer?
My choices are below. Yours in the comments. You can pick what you want, but I'll be straying away from the obvious "getting the tree"/"going Christmas shopping" entries and heading straight for my most random Christmas necessities/traditions.
1. Hearing "Do They Know It's Christmas" on the radio: More specifically, listening to the line where U2's Bono lets out a hyper-melodramatic "well tonight thank God it's them, instead of youuuuuuuuu!" The combination of sincerity and camp, being sung by every musical artist I listened to when I was 13, is holiday perfection.
2. Reading about some drunk a**hole committing a crime dressed as Santa: It happens every year. Someone tries to rob a liquor store, assaults a cop, drives the wrong way down an interstate or exposes himself in a public library dressed as Santa Claus. It has reached a point where the holiday feels incomplete without Santa getting arrested. Every time Santa gets charged with a misdemeanor an angel gets his wings ... Read More 'It doesn't feel like the holidays without ...' »
| Dec 16 at 06:41 AM
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Brian Wilson offers ninja tutorials on VYou
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Thanks so much for your support since I began answering questions on VYou. I've received more than 50 messages so far and answered 22. I'll get to a few more later this week. My VYou portal is here if you want to see what it's all about.
Or you can check out Giants pitcher Brian Wilson, who recently started answering questions on the startup. Phil Bronstein pointed out Wilson's account to me, and it's easily the best one I've seen to far -- even though he's only signed on to answer messages a couple of times. You can ask Wilson questions using the above interface, or go directly to his VYou portal here. Be sure to check out what he wrote on his bio.
My three favorite questions/answers so far: Read More 'Brian Wilson offers ninja tutorials on VYou' »
| Dec 15 at 04:15 PM
A tribute to the television Yule Log ...
I received a press release yesterday from KTVU and KICU director of marketing Jeff Holub, announcing that "The Holiday Log" will return on TV-36 from 7 a.m to 12:30 p.m. Christmas Day. This is KICU's version of the Yule Log, the virtual fireplace which originated in New York and was adapted in the Bay Area by Jim Gabbert and TV-20 in the 1980s.
www.geek.com
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-log.
I've been a huge Yule Log fan for close to 30 years, and check local listings each holiday season to see when and where it will be on. I was glad to hear that the KICU log upgraded to HD last year, so I wouldn't be tempted to switch to a competing Yule Log on a soulless cable channel somewhere in the 900s of my Comcast listings. TV-36 was there for me when I was 11 years old and wanted to watch "Star Blazers." I'd rather give them my fake fireplace business.
I have a hard time explaining my love for television fireplaces. Kitsch is a small part of it. There's a hypnotic quality to the visual that is appealing. Kids like it. It's almost always commercial-free. And the music -- usually provided by a local adult contemporary station -- combines with whatever I'm drinking to provide a nice holiday lobotomy. Christmas with the Yule Log is the only time of the year that you're going to hear an Andy Williams song followed immediately by something from Wham!
But mostly I like the freedom it provides to have my television on, without getting distracted from spending time with my loved ones. Turning on a football game or even "A Christmas Story" in a room full of people is an anti-social/borderline passive aggressive act. Turning the channel to the Yule Log is an act of warmth and togetherness. It casts its magic spell that rids the room of dysfunction. With apologies to "Modern Family," I'm guessing that the Yule Log would have been Jesus's favorite program.
Read More 'A tribute to the television Yule Log ...' »| Dec 15 at 07:20 AM
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Ugly Holiday Sweater Jubilee: An early contender and prize update
Courtesy JP Webb
I have been literally hitting myself in the face several times a day for the past week, angry that we didn't start an Ugly Holiday Sweater Photo Contest Jubilee four years ago. The entries we've received so far have been amazing.
We also got some good news on the prize front. Along with the typical DVD sets and video games we give away, two of the winners will receive four tickets to Shrek: The Musical, which my colleague Robert Hurwitt called "... a buoyant concoction of bright musical numbers, inspired design and enough clever fairy tale, inside-theater and fart jokes to please young and old alike" in his Little Man politely clapping review. Shrek plays at the Orpheum Theater in San Francisco through Jan. 2. More information on this site.
The rules for the ugly sweater contest (which ends Dec. 20) are here. Winners will be included in the Dec. 26 Chronicle Style section.
In the meantime, please enjoy this early entry from JP, Stacey and Elodie Webb, who I totally want to party with. JP was the very first entrant, sending the above photo less than two hours after we announced the contest. Here's his e-mail: Read More 'Ugly Holiday Sweater Jubilee: An early contender and prize update' »
| Dec 14 at 10:32 AM
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Q&A;: "Dirty Jobs" star Mike Rowe
Lea Suzuki/Chronicle
My 5-year-old son is a huge "Dirty Jobs" fan. He's polite about it, but it's pretty clear that star Mike Rowe is the father he wishes he had. I've heard a lot of Mike Rowe love in the comments over the years. Add the fact that this blog is called "The Poop," and it seems like an obvious place for a Q&A; with the star.
Actually, this is just spillover from a much more epic piece I wrote about Rowe in today's Pink section. You can check it out here, although I'd much prefer you buy the Sunday newspaper. I can say without hesitation that he was one of my five or six all-time favorite interviews. Rowe is exactly like he is on the show in person, and despite the fact that he's got to be worth a jillion dollars (his friend's words, not mine) there was absolutely zero pretentiousness. The dude is just a good hang. He didn't badmouth people, didn't go off the record and he hung out for more than two hours, when the industry standard for these types of things is 30-45 minutes.
Rowe was, of course, a co-host for "Evening Magazine" in the Bay Area, most of which is covered in detail in the main article. The Q&A; below consists of a few odds and ends, plus a lightning round where I asked some quick questions I've always wanted to know. Read More 'Q&A;: "Dirty Jobs" star Mike Rowe' »
| Dec 12 at 07:50 AM
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Ugly Holiday Sweater Photo Contest Jubilee ... enter now!
Whenever possible, I try to write for the Chronicle's Style section. It's not my normal beat at the paper, but editor Laura Compton is very nice and the topics are always fun to write. I also appreciate that Laura never goes all fashion police on me, even though I cut my own hair and often wear what looks like a Member's Only jacket to work.
tvguide.com
Some cultures also call it a "jumper."
So when Laura suggested that we team up on an ugly holiday-themed sweater contest, I jumpered jumped at the opportunity. We've both seen a huge rise in interest on the topic, including multiple requests over the years in The Poop comments for a sweater contest. Sharing these photos also seemed like good group therapy for those of us who lived through the 1970s and 80s, when sweaters like these arrived each holiday by the half dozen once every kid hit puberty.
Are you on board yet? Then it's time to announce ...
The Poop/Style section's Ugly Holiday Sweater Photo Contest Jubilee 2010!
Why a jubilee? It just sounds like a word that someone who knits unattractive sweaters would use. The name may be long, but we'll try to keep the rules as simple as possible:
1. Send an image of yourself from the past or present, wearing an ugly or bizarre holiday-themed sweater, to phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. Put the words "Holiday Sweater" in the subject line. Read More 'Ugly Holiday Sweater Photo Contest Jubilee ... enter now!' »
| Dec 09 at 02:20 PM
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
John Lennon's death announced by Howard Cosell
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In the past week I've seen and heard dozens of tributes to John Lennon, who was shot to death 30 years ago today. I generally don't get worked up about anniversary milestones and this one was no different. But listening to Howard Cosell interview Lennon and later tell the world about his death got me thinking about what the star meant to his fans and the world in 1980. Suddenly I was mourning two men.
This morning Brian Murphy and Paul McCaffrey of of KNBR played and discussed Cosell and Frank Gifford's 1980 announcement of Lennon's death on "Monday Night Football." (See that clip above.) I looked around on YouTube and found the earlier conversation (below) between Lennon and Cosell during a game in 1974.
Both clips are moving in their own way, and I think should be listened to together. I love the way that Cosell and Lennon are barely speaking the same language -- Lennon is thoroughly confused by football and I'm theorizing that the fogie-ish Cosell may have been more of a Dean Martin guy -- but there's a mutual respect and fondness in the conversation. When Lennon was killed, Cosell acted like a professional, but was clearly shocked and upset. Maybe he knew how much he man meant to Americans. I wonder if Cosell was thinking about that first meeting.
Read More 'John Lennon's death announced by Howard Cosell' »| Dec 08 at 03:40 PM
Musee Mecanique finds the kid within
My daughter put a quarter into the machine, and the hobo clown cum waterdog behind the glass began to laugh at her. Emmeline took a few steps back. An awkward smile stretched across her lips.
Don't worry, he's laughing with you.
"What does it ... do?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, "That's it."
We examined the doll again. Dressed in a Navy sailor hat and sitting on a crate, the automaton behind the glass had one of those makeup jobs you'd expect from a horror movie clown. Jolly Jack was the name of the creature, and its enormous belly laugh was booming and incessant.
"Why does it just keep laughing?" my daughter asked.
"Because that's what it does. You put money in and it laughs."
She blinked, as if she didn't believe me, as if she expected the thing to hop out of its cage and do something more ... interesting. It must have seemed odd to a kid who has played iPhone video games or Nintendo Wii, to think a generation of children once paid good money to be laughed at by a possessed sailor on shore leave. For the first couple seconds, Emmeline seemed taken aback and a little frightened. Then she appeared bored. Then anxious. Then she started looking at me, as if I was somehow behind the whole thing. Then, after about 45 seconds, a true, genuine, giggly smile broke out on her lips. Read More 'Musee Mecanique finds the kid within' »
| Dec 08 at 07:32 AM
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
A tribute to the Circus Animal cookie ...
There are five things that I've encountered in my lifetime that I consider to be perfect: My wife, my two boys, "Die Hard" and Circus Animal cookies.
I've written about the first four something like 600 times on this blog, but realized while experiencing a sugar high during a recent frosted cookie binge that I've never written about the fifth. So here's my long overdue tribute to the Mother's Circus Animal cookie, which celebrates its 100th anniversary in 2014.
ephemeron.net
Under new management.
The future of Circus Animals was jeopardized a couple of years ago, when Oakland-based Mother's Cookies shut down, and its owner sought bankruptcy protection. Kellogg's took over and the cookies returned to shelves about six months later. I remember buying my first bag under new ownership, worried that they might have screwed up the recipe.
Crisis averted. While it may not be much solace to the hundreds of East Bay residents who lost their jobs, the cookies tasted exactly the same. I'm hopeful they'll be around long after I die. Instead of embalming me, please cover my body in pink frosting and tiny multicolored candy balls.
My nine-part tribute to the Circus Animal cookie is below ...
1. The nutritional information on the package states that Circus Animals have no trans fat. I call bulls***. The cookies are just too delicious. There's no way that something this addictive isn't packed with trans fat, MSG and maybe some vicodin. Read More 'A tribute to the Circus Animal cookie ...' »
| Dec 07 at 03:04 PM
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