Quotable Kid: 'Can the people in the movie see us?'

I recently posted a funny quote from my 4-year-old son, Dante, on my Facebook page: "Can the people in the movie see us?"

A friend who is mothering a teen and a tween quickly chimed in: "Oh god--enjoy these years (before the withering sarcasm kicks in). Just this evening mine have said, 'Mom, you're NOT cool, so stop trying to pretend you are,' 'Oh mom, you're such a dork,' 'I don't know you,' and 'Umm ... how about 'no'?' (in response to a request). And I probably got off lightly today."

Her response reminded me that it has been awhile since I posted a Quotable Kid, a rundown of the silliest and sweetest quotes from my kids. Maybe we--parents of young children--need to start preserving our kids' innocent words so we can refer to them when they turn into teenagers.

Here's what my kids have said in the past week. Please share what yours are saying in the comments.

Paris: "No! Don't change the station. I sort of like advertisements because you can learn what's going on in shops. Like you might learn about a sale at Target." (This is what my daughter said when I was attempting to change the radio station from Alice to KFOG.)

Dante: "When Barack Obama becomes president will we be able to visit Mars?" (My response: "Anything is possible now that Obama is president.")

Paris: "Mommy, you're my servant!" (Please advise me: What am I doing wrong as a parent?)

Dante: "Look at my big, humongous penis!" (Should I be concerned that my 4-year-old is obsessed with his phallus?)

Paris: "I'm not really into princesses anymore." (All I can say to this one is "Hallelujah!"

Dante: "TV is good because Barack Obama is on TV." (This is my son trying to convince me that we should buy a giant TV at Costco. If you're wondering, I denied the request.)

Paris: "Don't throw the plastic bag with lice in it away. That's mean! You're killing the lice. You should put them outside. You're so mean to lice mommy." (Yes, we had a little lice outbreak in the family. Stay tuned for the full story in an upcoming post titled, "My deepest and darkest lice story.")

Dante: "I'm saving my money so mommy and poppy can buy a bigger house." (I guess a two-bedroom condo isn't enough for the little guy. I'm looking forward to when he buys us that house up on the hill. I hope it has a walk-in closet in my bedroom.)

What are your kiddos saying that's making you laugh?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | January 28 2009 at 07:42 AM

Quotable kid: "I want saggy boobs!"

The last time I ran Quotable Kid, SFGate visitors offered up a slew of great quotes. Here are a few highlights:

"Do you think he could lift Grampy?" said a young boy, while watching the Olympic weight-lifting competition.

"They try to make you think you need something but you don't need it," said the same boy about seeing ads during the Olympics.

"Mama, when I grow up, I want to have long, saggy boobs, just like yours," said a 5-year-old girl to her mom.

And my absolute favorite:

"Papa, last night a dream was floating in the air. It went into my ear and I took pictures of it with my eyes," said a 4-year-old to his dad.

Here are a few funny quotes from my kiddos:

Dante: "My other family has directions for how to make a gingerbread Bart train."

Paris: "Mommy, you're not good at speaking Chinese. You don't know the tones."

Dante: "This day is so boring!"

Paris: "I have a hard life!"

Got any funny quotes from your little ones? Please share.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | September 04 2008 at 10:45 AM

Quotable kid: "Mom, I wish you had big boobs."

Have your kids said anything recently that made you laugh out loud? These are a few silly quotes from my little ones. Please share yours.

Paris: "Do people who drive big cars know about global warming?"

Dante: "Mom, I wish you had big boobs."

Paris: "When we go through that tunnel under water. You know the one you go through when you're on Bart. Why don't they have windows in the tunnel so you can see all the fish swimming by?"

Paris: "I'm not being bossy. I'm just out of control!"

Dante: "My other family has a blog"

What are your kiddos saying?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | August 13 2008 at 02:23 PM

Quotable kid: "Use your credit card!"

Have your kids made you laugh with their silly words recently? It's time for the Quotable Kid.

Here are a few kid quotes readers submitted last time:

"Daddy, why don't you just use your credit card?"

"Daddy, that shirt doesn't look so good on you!"

Daddy says, "I spy something gray." Daughter (4 yrs.) says, "Your hair!"

My daughter, Paris, is the funny one in our household this week.

"What if there were an emergency, like a fire or something, would we get my American Girl doll or leave her?"

"I don't think Dante (her brother) is going to be very interesting when he grows up."

"Mom, I'm studying your bra so I will know how to put one on when I grow up."

"You're not going to like it when I say this so don't get mad when I say it. That new table looks mediocre."

Please share funny quotes from your kids.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | July 31 2008 at 08:00 AM

Quotable kid: "Dad, your hair is falling out?"

It's time for the Quotable Kid. Last time we got some great "Daddy" quotes. Here are a few:

• "Daddy, here's the newspaper so you can read about the presidents running."

• "Daddy, you don't know how to be a daddy!"

• "Daddy, why is your hair falling out in the shower?"

Here are a few recent ones from my kids:

• Dante: "When you die, do you get all squishy?"

• Paris: "Mom, you're not a very good driver when you're talking on the phone."

• Dante: "Mommy, do you want to play sea otter, and I'm for sale at a pet store and then you come and buy me and bring me home and put me in the bathtub and then I splash around. Let's play that game."

• Paris: "I want to be a teenager so I can have a TV in my room with a remote control and my own makeup."

• Dante: "I really want a toy dragon and I want the dragon to have batteries so when I throw it, it flies."

Please share what your kids are saying.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | June 19 2008 at 09:23 AM

Quotable kid: "Is this garbageable?"

Kids says the funniest things! Here's a rundown of some silly quotes from last week:

• "Mom, is this recyclable or garbageable?"

• "Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to have a big vagina, just like you!" said a 5-year-old girl.
• "That's just some pretty girl I met," said a boy to his mom inquiring about a girl calling her son's name at the playground.

As for this week, I'm focusing on my son, Dante, who makes me melt every time something comes out of his mouth. He's in that supercute 3-year-old stage.

• "I really want a toy dragon and I want the dragon to have batteries so when I throw it, it flies off."
• "Mom, Paris isn't being earth-friendly!"
• "Mom, I will get you something for Mother's Day that's not a rocket launcher."
• "Paris, you look really cute today in that outfit"
• "I really love our family. We're nice people."

Please share your best quotes!

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | May 14 2008 at 10:00 AM

Quotable kid: "I need privacy!"

It's time again for the Quotable Kid. Here are a few funny words from visitors' children:

• While pretending to talk on the phone with her boyfriend, a preschooler said, "Are you coming over? Don't forget your car seat!"

• "Mommy we need to move that mountain!" said a 3-year-old as the car was approaching the Caldecott tunnel.

• "Calm down, Mom. You're really stress-strating me out!"

• "Take it easy" said a little girl to her dad relaxing in a lounge chair at Costco.

This week, all my quotes are from my daughter, Paris, who is suddenly growing up. She brought tears to my eyes when she said, "I'm too grown up to like Elmo!"

Here are a few more:

• "I need privacy!"

• "Get out Mom! I can go to the bathroom by myself!"

• "Be quiet, I'm reading the newspaper!"

• "Can I have some coffee?"

• "Mom stop! You're embarrassing me!"

• "Mom, why do we celebrate Christmas and we don't believe in Baby Jesus?"

• "How much money does George Bush give to schools?"

• "Why does Obama keeping saying, 'Yes, we can'?"

Please share what your kids are saying.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | May 07 2008 at 09:40 PM

Quotable kid: "I'm having a hot flash!"

The weekly post on kids' funny quotes continues. Here are some witty words from visitors' kids:

When a mom told her son that he had to brush his teeth before playing he said, "That doesn't work for me, Mom."

A dad said to his 4-year-old daughter, "I have a dilemma." The little girl said, "Dad, what's a dilemma?" The dad said, "It's when I have two choices, but I don't like either of them." The daughter said with absolute authority, "Daaaad, that's not a dilemma, that's a predicament."

A little boy taking a bath said, pointing at his chest, "But Mama I want to have ones that make milk! I want big ones...like yours!"

A mom recently asked her 4-year-old what she wanted for breakfast. She replied "I want the cereal that listens to me" (referring to Rice Krispies).

Here's the best of my kids' quotes:

Paris: "Look at me licking up salad dressing. That means I'm earth friendly because I'm not wasting my food."

Dante: "I want a Power Rangers birthday!"

Paris: "My friend Lucy told me she ate a duck. Is that healthy?"

Dante: "I want to bring my goat to sharing time because he's so special."

Paris: "Mommy, I'm having a hot flash!"

What are your kids saying that's making you laugh?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | May 01 2008 at 12:44 PM

Quotable kid: "Vote for broccoli!"

The weekly post on kids' funny quotes continues. Here are a few witty words from visitors' kids:

After flopping down dramatically on a patch of grass, a 3-year-old girl said, "Mom, I really just give up."

The same 3-year-old told her preschool class, "My Mom is going to poop the baby out of her butt."

A mom jokingly asked her son, "Who should I vote for, Hillary or Barack?" The son replied, "I think you should vote for broccoli!"

A mom told her 6-year-old son that she saw a famous photographer speak and that the photographer was known for taking pictures of celebrities and politicians. Her son said, "Politicians? You mean people who blow things up?"

In my family, this seems to be the week of harping on mom. Here's what Paris and Dante have been saying:

Paris: "Mommy, you're out of control!"

Dante: "Mommy, you're giving me a headache!"

Paris: "Mom, your downward dog isn't very good."

Dante: "Mommy, stop laughing! I'm singing a song about a sea otter and an eggplant that talks."

Paris: "Mom, you stink! You need to take a shower."

And please share what's coming out of the mouths of your kiddos this week.

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | April 24 2008 at 09:14 AM

Kids say the funniest things: 'I'm a paper clip!'

Last week I started the new feature: Kids Say the Funniest Things. Many visitors offered up some great quotes. Here are a few:

My 13-month-old son called our dog "Daddy."

While my husband and I were slow dancing in the kitchen, our 3-year-old said, "I want you separate." We asked, "Why?" She replied, "Because I'm God!"

Our 5-year-old exclaimed, "Look mommy, I'm a paper clip."

Here's what my kids said this week:

Paris: "I'm done with this day!"

Dante: "Last night I dreamed about a Thomas Lego set."

Paris: "I wish I had a magic wand and then I could turn my brother into a chicken."

Dante: "Daddy, Mom's necklace isn't funky, it's beautiful!"

Paris: "How are the Berenstain Bears able to open their front door without a key?"

What are your kids saying?

Posted By: Amy Graff (Email, Twitter, Facebook) | April 17 2008 at 11:48 AM