Brian Viner

Recently by Brian Viner

Brian Viner: 'We're townies, right down to the tips of our wellies, unable even to wring the neck of an ailing chicken'

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

'We're townies, right down to the tips of our wellies, unable even to wring the neck of an ailing chicken'

Brian Viner: The day Lancashire finally win another title will lighten the long waiting list on my mind

Saturday, 22 September 2007

A few weeks ago in this space I asserted that most cricket fans these days no longer give two hoots about the outcome of the County Championship, only one hoot at the most. I set a small quiz for those who consider themselves cricket enthusiasts. Are Essex in the First or Second Division? Nottinghamshire? Kent? Warwickshire? Northamptonshire? If in each case you know the answer, I wrote, then you qualify for a quilted anorak.

Brian Viner: 'Mark conducted a harvest festival service, and when he opened his Bible, lots of paper butterflies flew out'

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

'Mark conducted a harvest festival service, and when he opened his Bible, lots of paper butterflies flew out'

Brian Viner: Moolah... a sportsman's guide to getting your hands on it and then getting rid of it

Saturday, 15 September 2007

Tomorrow evening, a professional golfer will be $10m (£4.9m) richer than he is today. Even by the absurd standards of remuneration in modern sport, that is an awful lot of moolah; such a lot, indeed, that it warps the senses.

Brian Viner: 'Many a slip...' the refrain on English lips

Saturday, 8 September 2007

Whatever today has in store for England's rugby union, football and cricket teams, it is a fair bet that their supporters at the various arenas will at some stage serenade them with their favourite anthems, the cringe-inducing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", the yawn-inducing "Eng-er-land Eng-er-land Eng-er-land ..." and the plain moronic "Barmy Army". I think it is time that English sport adopted a single anthem, to be sung lustily at all big occasions, and my suggestion is that kindergarten classic "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes", although perhaps a top lyricist could be hired, Sir Tim Rice perhaps, to work in a mention for ankles.

Brian Viner: 'I'm sure that London hospitals deal with children just as efficiently, but there's more time for kindness in the sticks'

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

'I'm sure that London hospitals deal with children just as efficiently, but there's more time for kindness in the sticks'

Brian Viner: 'Britain's food revolution bypassed our hotel. We first tasted these dishes in 1997 – and even then they were dated'

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

'Britain's food revolution bypassed our hotel. We first tasted these dishes in 1997 – and even then they were dated'

Brian Viner: 'I suppose fundamentalists think that a vengeful Almighty had it in for the sinners of Middle England'

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

'I suppose fundamentalists think that a vengeful Almighty had it in for the sinners of Middle England'

Brian Viner: 'When we left London, we weren't flying from anything – least of all ethnic minorities'

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

'When we left London, we weren't flying from anything – least of all ethnic minorities'

Brian Viner: Four centuries old and still able to shock

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

It would be interesting to know how much coverage is being given in the US to the enormous painted outline of Homer Simpson brandishing a doughnut that, in an ingenious stunt to publicise the forthcoming movie version of The Simpsons, has been drawn next to the Cerne Abbas Giant near Dorchester.

Brian Viner: Money talks, but there is no need to shout about the megabucks our megastars earn

Saturday, 14 July 2007

The presence of David and Victoria Beckham at last Sunday's British Grand Prix was greeted with unseemly fervour in some quarters - quarters that ought to know better, frankly. Even the petrolheads were sucked in. When the ITV commentator James Allen bumped into his venerable predecessor Murray Walker shortly after the race, their first topic of conversation was not Kimi Raikkonen's victory or Lewis Hamilton's tribulations in the pits, or even trousers-on-fire commentary styles, but the Galaxy-bound galactico. I know because I was listening. It's hard not to with dear old Murray within earshot.

Brian Viner: 'In pubs round here, if you start talking loudly about murder and fraud, people will cock an ear'

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

'In pubs round here, if you start talking loudly about murder and fraud, people will cock an ear'

Brian Viner: The boy who will be king misses home coronation

Monday, 9 July 2007

'It wasn't my first mistake of the year - you just have not seen them'

Brian Viner: Wimbledon washout brings memories of some barefaced interruptions flooding back

Saturday, 7 July 2007

This has been the most frustrating Wimbledon fortnight I can remember for rain delays, but in the Sue Barker spirit of trying to extract a bit of fun from a lot of damp, here is my top five list of sporting interruptions, whether natural or man-made.

Brian Viner: Country Life

Wednesday, 27 June 2007

'My dress sense is all about function – baggy cords, shapeless sweaters and comfortable, frayed shorts'

Brian Viner: The exotic bloom of Hyacinthus Muhren is destroyed by new attack of alien invaders

Saturday, 23 June 2007

In October next year it will be 30 years since an occasion Evertonians of my generation will never forget; the 1-0 victory over Liverpool that ended seven years of famine in the Merseyside derby. All 22 players on the Goodison Park pitch that day came from the British Isles, a phenomenon which now seems part of a distant, almost sepia age, like heavy wooden rattles and Dixie Dean.

Brian Viner: 'Fredalogate' proved journalistic ethics are alive and well - you can quote me on that

Saturday, 16 June 2007

It is safe to say that I watched with more interest than most the imbroglio that followed the recent interview given by Michael Vaughan to Don McRae of The Guardian. This was partly because McRae is a man I know slightly and admire greatly; his book In Black & White, about the relationship between Joe Louis and Jesse Owens, is one of the best sports books I have read.

Brian Viner: What better training for life than to climb trees?

Thursday, 14 June 2007

Accidents outdoors are more wholesome than accidents in front of a computer screen

Brian Viner: Country Life

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

'Middle England is about Beefeater pubs, Joanna Trollope books, bored teenagers and hobbits – apparently'

Brian Viner: I was as ridiculously wide of the mark last week as a penalty hitting the corner flag

Saturday, 9 June 2007

Hell hath no fury like Manchester United fans scorned, and as the dispenser of some of that scorn, I have this past week been the object of the fury. There have been long periods when emails have been dropping into my in-tray at the rate of about one a minute, not all of them questioning my parentage and making suggestions about my perverse habits in the bedroom, but not all of them not.

Brian Viner: Britain can boast share of immortals but only overseas legends evoke awe

Saturday, 2 June 2007

On Tuesday evening I went to a sporting dinner in aid of the Lord's Taverners attended by almost 300 people. The dinner took place in a marquee in Worcester, and the guest of honour and main speaker was a fellow of such distinction that he was given a standing ovation when he arrived at the door of the marquee, which continued until he had walked slowly to the top table and sat down. There was another prolonged standing ovation when he had finished speaking (rather brilliantly, as it happens), and we all rose to our feet to give him a third burst of thunderous applause when, at about 11pm, he made his way out of the marquee for the long drive to Canterbury, where he was due to grace some occasion the following day.

Brian Viner: A Country Life

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Some years ago, a feminist slogan was coined: 'Reclaim the Night'. My wife Jane remembers it from the time she was at university in the early 1980s, but it was revived in 2004 in the wake of an Amnesty International report about violence towards women, and used as the name of a march through central London.

Brian Viner: Country Life

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Jane and I went to a ball a couple of weeks ago, in Richards Castle village hall. You can judge a village hall by the range of events that take place under its roof, and, indeed, by the roof itself. A sound roof is a sign of a vibrant community. Never move to a village where the hall's roof is made of rusting corrugated iron, that's my tip.