I once went on a press trip for this game that was so bad I left. Along with the appalling
food, the dismal weather and the fact that it was in France, the misery was compounded by a grown man encouraging a roomful of journalists to loudly shout: "WAAAGH!"
As Goblin-fanciers everywhere will confirm, that is the battle cry of the Orcs, a race of the fearsome Greenskins who comprise the Forces of Destruction. And if it sounds like I know what I'm talking about, consider that for years I genuinely thought an Orc was a type of bird. Something appears to have sunk in though, as when faced with a choice of character I gravitate towards the Orcs, eventually settling on a rather ugly beast known as a Choppa.
ADULTS ONLY What I lack in looks and charm, I make up for in brute strength, and instantly prove myself by slaying three Foul Nurglings. It's a swift career path, and I soon advance to clearing out ghosts, shooting down Dwarfen Gyrocopters, and burning families of humans alive in their homes. A Thorshafn Citizen tries to protect his humble dwelling by swinging at me with a pitchfork, but he's no match for my rugged blade as the death count surges upwards.
More mundane quests are available, so as a change of pace I pick some mushrooms for Sursten The Deceiver. But everyone needs a trade, even Orcs, so I train to be a butcher, practising my skills on wildlife, ripping the guts out of wolves, vultures and deer I come across, which is marginally more appetising than the slop they served up on the Warhammer Online press trip. Butchery is lonely work, and craving company I sidle up to a male Leprechaun and a female Dark Elf, who are deep in conversation.
"Ah nee tis goud," says Zorwrak the Crucial Crusher. "Klompen kuch," replies Neytyri the Strategic Hitter. Finally noticing the massive green oaf inches away from them, the Leprechaun inquires, "You want spanking too?" "Spank him," orders the Dark Elf. "What's happening?" I plead. "We're going to rape you dear," she explains. "Are you sure?" asks Zorwrak. "I want his big axe," confirms Neytyri. "Please be gentle with me," I plead. "Your kind doesn't need gentle," admonishes Neytyri. "Gentle is not in her dictionary," laughs her accomplice. Calling their bluff, I casually ask, "Have you started yet?" "Obviously not," admits Zorwrak. However, Neytyri claims, "I'm touching... something." "Touching what?" I ask. "Wouldn't you like to know..." taunts the coquettish Dark Elf. "I hear moaning," pipes up the Leprechaun.
We are soon joined by a half-naked bloke called Dacul The Pawner, who announces "I am power stripper," casually farts, and blames it on Zorwrak.
As an introduction to Warhammer's social contact, it's not a promising start. It turns out that the Leprechaun and the Dark Elf are from Belgium, and know each other in real life. Over the course of a few late nights, I grow close to the Belgian Dark Elf, who admits that she finds Orcs kind of sexy.
CHOPPA SHOCKA I seem to take on the role of agony Orc, as she unburdens her real-life concerns, how she's worried about her weight, and that her breasts are too large.
At some stage she also tells me that she has real vampire fangs that were put in when she was 16. It all seems unlikely - particularly the fact that she's a girl - but everything she's said proves to be true when she sends me some photos of herself.
I'm in too deep. My subscription ends. I don't renew it.
So this article is more about what happens in 'free to play' MMORPG titles as 'standard' then WAR itself... What was experenced isn't just solely to WAR but in other games like second life as well... The article is very missleading as really it had nothing to DO with the game at all it's merly the setting...
The 'endless free trail' was a double edged sword not only did it open up the game's exposure but it also opened the door to 'roleplay', the bad kind, human nature sadly that people will act out a 'fantasy' with the use of avitars in general
Seeing as it's a fantasy game in a fantasy setting with fantasy characters I think it's fair enough if people want to roleplay. He might have joined a RP server, who knows ?
You don't know what an orc is so you dont like rpg's and and mmo's. Then you log into WAR and don't have a good time? That's some seriously big news. How the f**k is that worthy of an article?
Copyright 2006 - 2009 Future Publishing Limited, Beauford Court, 30 Monmouth Street, Bath, UK BA1 2BW England and Wales company registration number 2008885
