November 27th, 2006. The day liberty was taken by the horns - and productivity told in no uncertain terms "you and I are going to have to get reacquainted".
My on/off addiction to Football Manager had previously come in waves; a Christmas break here, a lost Bank Holiday Monday there. But in the three months preceding that most myopically important of dates, my relationship with Sports Interactive's baby had gotten, well, unhealthy.
I'd regularly nod off, post-midnight, sat bolt upright in bed - illuminated by a laptop screen showing Hull City's training regime, the declination of a work permit or some other vitally important factoid.
And the worst part? Despite FM being directly responsible for the dark shadowland under my eyes, my over reliance on caffeine and fictional football chatter becoming the only water cooler topic in my arsenal, I never once stopped loving it.
All REM-ruining things must come to an end, however. And so it was my hard copy of FM 2007 was symbolically plunged into the bin - as I pledged never to return to the series' intoxicating realm of anorak-pleasing algorithms and 'add your own mind-graphics' match engine.
It was a purging of a true addiction; a wave goodbye to procrastination and an acknowledgement that it was high time to transpose some of my virtual Fergie- and Wenger-conquering stratagems to the most troubling match of all: Real life.
Despite keeping abreast of the progression of the series, the introduction of (shock!) ACTUAL 3D GRAPHICS and other such neat touches, I've stuck by my promise to avoid FM ever since.
Until now, that is. When the opportunity to test drive Sega's iPhone version of Football Manager Handheld cropped up, I allowed my resolve to bend. After all, I reasoned, surely it doesn't offer the same beautiful human pitfalls as its big brother? It's a distraction on a mobile phone, a mini-burger of the dugout experience, a non-game. It's an app for Christ's sakes.
More fool me. After spending a two weeks glued to it, I can directly blame missed tube destinations, scornfully-received silent car journeys and paranoia-alerting public fist pumps on its existence. Moreover, I can also report that it's bloody excellent.
EARLY DOORS FM Handheld makes quite incredible use of the iPhone hardware to offer something lacking in nearly every other title available on Apple's pocket warmer: Real choice.
Whether it's taking the reins of teams from across 34 leagues - including all UK tables, as well as France, Spain, Scotland, Portugal Brazil and more - or diving into the bewilderingly huge player search function, FM on iPhone is a head-bendingly complex beast, delivered in an outstandingly straightforward package.
The immensity of the player database is perhaps FM Handheld's most impressive feature - and its defining victory over rival mobile-based football tactics titles.
Over 20,000 players are available for perusal, of which the true gems can only be found by gainfully employing your scouts.
Hours can be lost instinctually digging out bargains before a ball is even kicked. The customisable player search filter is perfectly judged - giving you more than enough options to find the sharp shooter or defensive rock you require, with fields including age, wage, position and contract status to tinker with.
Of course, with this much data, the layout of the game becomes all important - and SI has nailed an intuitive, non-frustrating interface that strikes a near-perfect balance between the elementary and the elaborate.
A 'home' icon is constantly displayed in the top right hand corner of the landscape screen. This delivers you back to the core page of the game at any time - perfect for those panicked occasions when you've bitten off more than you can chew on the tactics front.
From here, six options smartly divide up your responsibilities via corresponding icons: Club, Manager, Competitions, Search, Options and Continue.
Of these, Club is the most visited, giving you access to the organisation of your squad and tactics. These are nicely self-explanatory and neatly organised - with the option to see how your team will look on the pitch, or a simple text view.
The game is uncomplicated enough for you to kick your way through a season with limited knowledge. The assistance of your CPU-driven colleagues (assistant manager, coach, scout) is very handy for novices - removing much of the PC game's circuitous (and occasionally unnecessary) autonomy and letting you get on with the features that matter.
But the more you dig into FM Handheld, the more depth and detail you discover - and it's often a joy to behold for a true enthusiast. A personal favourite moment was uncovering was the ability to 'sweep' through individual player details with the stroke of a finger.
When you click through to a player profile, you can also check out their full career history, availability, contract details and your coach's opinion without ever navigating away from the page, merely by scrolling left and right. It's a neat trick - and one of the few times you'll actually be glad not to have a PC mouse in your palm.
Another prime example of SI smartly cramping its info monster onto a tiny handheld is the news feed. A button in the bottom right of the screen leads to a menu highlighting all the key players and teams mentioned that week as individual bars.
This allows you to easily navigate to each's profile without worrying about pinpointing their name in a swathe of text. It's effortless, instinctive stuff that makes a huge difference to the game world - and the momentum of playing.
It's not all quite this ergonomic, however. A particular frustration comes in the omission of 'running bars', preventing you from telling individual players where you want them to move in each given game. Furthermore, the inability to pick up and move an on-pitch player (say, from left wing to centre midfield) makes the title unnecessarily fiddly.
For instance, if you wish to move from a 4-3-3 to a 4-4-2, you have to set a new formation, which not only leaves you needing to re-pick your team (left wingers have an irritating habit of automatically crossing to the right), but clears other 'hidden' settings - such as your free-kick and corner takers. This is at its most annoying during the desperate closing minutes of an ongoing match.
As the game's biggest flaw, though, this is hardly enough to ruin the sheer minute-slaying joy of FM Handheld - and is offset by a number of neat new additions, such as a Player Interaction button that gives you the chance to publicly or personally scold or praise your pampered stars.
The only other grumble has little to do with the game - and more to do with the impossibilities of the iPhone itself. A very pleasing drag-and-drop mechanic to instantaneously swap individual players is hampered by outside influences; namely, fat or greasy fingers. SI just about gets away with it - as the touch screen is surprisingly accurate - but I'm willing to wager that the chubby digits of Avram Grant wouldn't have a lot of luck making a substitution this way.
Fiddlyness aside, the title's design is flawless, and manoeuvring between screens soon becomes second nature. Sports Interactive has worked hard to reduce frustration of playing a game that usually demands the expanse of a home monitor and the pinpoint accuracy of a mouse - and it's done a stellar job.
Matches themselves are exactly what you've come to expect from the PC game - a large achievement in itself. You can again choose from a number of customisable menus: From slow commentary with full 2D graphics to super-fast, text only descriptions of what's going on.
Once again, the 'sweep' mechanic comes into its own here. You can access real-time possession details, match stat graphs, table position, player ratings and more on separate screens - just with a stroke of the finger.
THE BEAUTIFUL GAME Okay, ultimately, it's a load of numbers and primary colours located on a simple multi-screen device. But in the context of an FM match - and as an evolution of the mechanics that have become innately adopted by fans over the years - it feels like a futuristic, Minority Report step forward.
And perhaps that's the defining point of what makes Football Manager Handheld so good: Despite being forced to edit down certain details from its life-adjusting PC series, SI has skilfully managed to keep the iPhone version an emotional, often thrilling experience. (As the poor woman who got a celebratory barrage of expletives following Bojinov's equaliser against Man Utd at 9.03am on the Metropolitan line last Thursday can testify. My sincere apologies.)
Considering the limitations of the hardware, FM Handheld is a gigantic title that offers just as much of a rich, detailed experience to those taking on Notts County or Sporting Lisbon as it does Chelsea or Liverpool.
Sure, much of what you're 'seeing' is in your head - it always has been - and the limited visuals weren't ever going to wow on iPhone.
But against all the odds, potential irritation surrounding the title's intricate number-crunching has been kept to a minimum - leaving the way clear for any football fan who's fantasised about wearing a tracksuit top emblazoned with their initials to get engrossed.
Does it posses the same threat to my sleep pattern as its PC counterpart? Hard to say. At least it's only been eating into travel time: I can handle my tube journeys going a bit quicker each morning.
The fact it's started to become a 'quick game before bed' pillow accompaniment, however, is an altogether more worrying progression...
Huge amount of data and choice considering hardware limitations 'Sweeping' function and use of touch screen often thrills Lifelike Board, fan and press responses Staff assistance eases novice gamers in Fully updated season info
Downers
Formation could be more customisable Fat fingers need not apply
Hi CVG, Not one for football (apart from Messi, who plays a bit like a friend of mine used to at school believe it or not,by the way) But is it time now to put a Apple iphone/ipad category up at the top,c,mon you know you want to!!
Copyright 2006 - 2009 Future Publishing Limited, Beauford Court, 30 Monmouth Street, Bath, UK BA1 2BW England and Wales company registration number 2008885
Huge amount of data and choice considering hardware limitations
