Learning From Our Mistakes

Besides our tendency to be understandably angry, I’d like to address a few other things that many of us do that ultimately hurt animals.

We Don’t Eat With Meat-Eaters

For years, I refused to eat with meat-eaters. Then I became aware that many meat-eaters were reading my non-attendance as either deprivation, self-righteousness, or both, and that’s the sort of club nobody wants to join. (“You can’t even go to parties, can’t go out to eat … who wants to live like that?”)

Another advantage of taking part in gatherings is that people are likely to ask you about what you’re eating, especially if they know you’re a vegetarian. This is your perfect chance to get a bit of information into their heads and maybe even into their hands. As previously discussed, you need to do it in an upbeat way. You need to gauge the situation so that you don’t alienate everyone, and you should be able to present the basic moral argument without being aggressive.

What I do in these sorts of situations is to try to get a feel for the level of interest; often you can have a good conversation even at a meal in which meat is being served, as long as you’re upbeat and speak mostly about your personal beliefs in kindness and against cruelty. But if it seems like vegetarianism is the very last thing most of the people would want to discuss, I say something like this: “You know, this is an issue that is really important to me. I believe that if you saw how animals are suffering on factory farms and in slaughterhouses, you would be horrified and you wouldn’t want to support it. But I’ve found that having this discussion with a table full of people is often unpleasant for some of the people, and I don’t want to monopolize the entire conversation. I do have some literature and some videos, and I’d love to talk with you about this later. Can I get your e-mail address?”

Boom! You’ve raised the moral issue, AND you come across as the nicest person at the table. When that person asked, “Why are you a vegetarian?” everyone who hunkered down to listen to your long moral monologue will be singing your praises for choosing not to dominate the conversation. But you will have raised the ethical issue, which is crucially important.

One last thing to say about eating with meat-eaters: If you’re going to a function where taking food is appropriate, please take along some tasty dishes. When one person later substitutes your recipe for theirs, that’s a little victory. Few things convert people like delicious vegan food does! Check out our favorite recipes.

We Marginalize Ourselves

If you agree with me that the animal rights movement is the moral imperative of our time, then I hope that you will also agree that animal rights must be our focus. So we must accept people where they are and not argue with them about other issues, even if they try to distract us. Often people will feel more comfortable discussing an issue that they’ve thought a lot about, so in response to your vegetarianism, they’ll ask you about abortion, God, or politics.

If we make veganism and animal rights a package deal that includes other issues, it will be easier for others to dismiss us. Someone who might have otherwise considered veganism might write you off because of your position on the death penalty or abortion. And really, there’s also the “Why bother?” factor against arguing other issues because, for example, you are far more likely to awaken conservatives to the animal issues they may not have considered than to sway them to reject their political philosophies. In fact, some of the best advocates for animals are not progressives, including George W. Bush’s vegan senior speechwriter, Matthew Scully, as well as former congressional members Bob Smith and Bob Dornan. Bob Dole was much better on animal issues than Bill Clinton was, and right-wing ideologues such as G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North are quite sympathetic to animal issues, while political liberals such as Bill Press and Michael Moore are dismissive at best.

Also, if we’re advocating a certain type of vegan diet, such as macrobiotic or raw foods, that could harm animals because it’s far harder to follow these diets than a vegan one. And remember, most meat-eaters are already worried about what they’re going to eat if they give up meat. Our message must be the animals’ suffering, not our personal dietary preferences when those preferences don’t actually help animals.

We Apologize or Minimalize

Another way that we limit ourselves is by apologizing or minimalizing. I have heard it said that it’s acceptable if someone asks why you are a vegetarian to say, “It’s a personal decision and I don’t want to talk about it.” How does that help animals? How would anyone, hearing that answer, ever come to realize that this is a moral issue? They won’t—they’ll think it’s just your own personal quirk.

Also, never say that your diet is just about your health, and never say that it’s just about the environment. You can raise those issues in addition, of course. But always, always, always talk about the effect on animals. We’ll never get to animal liberation if the only people adopting a vegetarian diet are doing so for selfish reasons. And always, when someone asks why you’re a vegetarian, explain it to them, even if the situation requires brevity.

We Don’t Prepare or Practice

Another thing that we do wrong—and this is fundamental to this entire subject—is that we often don’t prepare, and we don’t practice what it is that we want to say. We’ve all heard arguments like “What about abortion?” and “Don’t plants feel pain?” a million times, so there is no excuse for any of us to “wing it” in responding to these questions. We should be ready to give the best answer in a friendly and engaging manner. Read our responses to frequently asked questions.

We owe it to animals to have a thoughtful and constructive, yet simple and focused reply ready for every question. If we are nervous or uncomfortable about public speaking or potentially argumentative interactions, we should enroll in Toastmasters or a public-speaking course, and we should practice with friends until we’re comfortable having these discussions. It can also be an embarrassing but amazingly useful exercise to do video role play with this discussion. It’s funny and a bit mortifying, but you can bet that once you’re done, you’ll be able to offer the argument in any situation!

We Neglect the Little Things

Finally we have to remember the little things, like wearing buttons and T-shirts and putting bumper stickers on our cars. Everyone with a car should have one or two animal rights bumper stickers on it. Animals never get a rest; it’s the least we can do to put a bumper sticker on our car. If you don’t want a permanent bumper sticker, you can get a sheet magnet at a hardware store, put your bumper stickers on it, and cut them out. I have magnetic bumper stickers that I take with me when I travel to put on my rental car, which I love, because they’re nice, new cars, and they become a mobile billboard for animal rights. The manager of PETA’s Vegan Campaign was first introduced to the ethical implications of eating meat when she saw a “Meat Is Murder” bumper sticker in a classmate’s locker in high school. She began to question why she ate meat, and two years later, she became vegan. A little thing made a big difference!

Beyond that, when we go out, we should always wear a button or a T-shirt and bring some literature. You can be sure that if I have my backpack—which I usually do—I have a stack of vegetarian starter kits and “Chew on This” DVDs.

PETA has great “Ask me why I’m vegan” buttons and little vegetarian business cards that make the case for vegetarianism very succinctly, and we’ll send you as many as you can use to carry with you and give to people. You can always have a few of these or other more in-depth pieces of literature in your pocket or backpack for whenever the subject arises.

You can also spread the word in other, almost effortless, ways. If you’re in a health-food store or a sympathetic bookstore, you can often talk to the management about sticking PETA’s free vegetarian starter kit stickers on its pay phones. A lot of diners, stores, and organizations have bulletin boards, too, and you can just tack these sorts of things up. Carry the stickers at all times, and tack up three or four of them on top of one another whenever you have the chance so that people can tear them off and call.

These are just a few effective but simple things you can do that can make a major difference for animals—you convert one person to veganism, and you’ve saved thousands of animals. People see the bumper sticker or your “Ask Me Why I’m Vegan” T-shirt, and you have the card and can hand it to them and talk to them about that issue. Every time a new person thinks about animal rights or thinks, “Hey, they look pretty normal, and they advocate animal rights,” that’s a victory for animals. If you currently walk around in Boston Red Sox or Metallica T-shirts, replace them with “Ask Me Why I’m Vegan” or “I Am Not a Nugget” T-shirts, and be an animal advocate each time you step outside the door. Read more.