Lonely Hearts Club

[elsie]

It's not a date, but in my continuing effort to get out of the house, I'm joining a colleague, his wife and two Japanese visitors on an excursion to a Bluegrass jam.

[illuminata]

I'm going out with colleagues tonight for a beer, then tomorrow Bleu is due to arrive for frolicking.

[pink_lady]

The academic and I have a date to attend a function at my college.  It's 'cocktail attire' which is making me rather nervous.  Part of this is because I have very limited options that fit the bill (the one dress that I'd like to wear is too summery), so the one option in the closet is kind of low-cut.  I'm very self-conscious about anything that displays cleavage anyway, but I'm especially uncomfortable since this one is with colleagues.  The dress isn't inappropriate, I don't think, it's just my issue.  I don't like that kind of attention. But I can't justify buying something right now, not only do I have a lot to do today, but I'm also trying not to spend money.

Too bad I don't have a black pashmina--that would solve a lot of problems.
Sigh.

[spork]

My dating plans for tonight are also limited to a colleague.  I might go out for Thai food with someone in my department and her husband.

[illuminata]

PL- do you have a lacy camisole to wear under the dress or some pins to close it a bit? Or can you borrow a pashmina? Le Target, center of my universe, has some lovely knock-off pashminas for about $15 usually.

[contemporary_]

'Dating' the fam.  My sister has arrived/phoned, says she's been lonely. She is a Dad's house (aka Dogbert, btw).  Early dinner with Sis, Dad and Wife.  Will stay the night at D&W's house, then we're off to AZ early in the AM.


Got a lovely letter from Temptation.  He is insecure about his looks/photo.  Nothing to fear on that account.  I can relate, but it is very un-buddhist for him to get hung up on appearance.  I will tell him as much, nicely.  The astrology/bio-dynamic farming connection is quite pleasant.  He seems sweet, but I haven't seen the chart..

I may perform a magical act of transference and recast you with a promising new 'face', but not one anyone could ever connect to contemporary_ or you.

Fantastic! I would like to be recast as Tina Louise c. 1958-1968. Thank you. Yes, I'm serious.

By all means, be serious.  I'll see if I can work you in.  If I (re)write it.  Perhaps a choral figure, in bugle beads. 

[pink_lady]

PL- do you have a lacy camisole to wear under the dress or some pins to close it a bit? Or can you borrow a pashmina? Le Target, center of my universe, has some lovely knock-off pashminas for about $15 usually.

The cut of the dress doesn't work with  a camisole (the back dips down so camisole would look funny). . . not sure about pinning-I don't know if that would be possible or not.  I tried the dress on last night and I seem to think not

but le Target is a good idea.  Maybe I can make a run this afternoon.

[grasshopper]

Shambelle, I'm with everyone else. Guys don't talk about weddings (in any context) if there isn't a hint of something there.

Phil and I discussed children, house-buying, and whether or not I would keep my last name. He had no intention of marrying me. Sometimes talk is just talk.

Shambelle, I like your attitude. Safe and cool.

[newphd]

Shambelle, I'm with everyone else. Guys don't talk about weddings (in any context) if there isn't a hint of something there.

Phil and I discussed children, house-buying, and whether or not I would keep my last name. He had no intention of marrying me. Sometimes talk is just talk.

Shambelle, I like your attitude. Safe and cool.

Excellent point, grassy.

[newphd]

Maybe this is too delicate a question for some but, is there anyone on the LHC who doesn't have marriage as a goal?

I am finding that most people (men and women) involved in online dating are either looking for a spouse or a good time. Is there anyone looking for a long-term, meaningful relationship that doesn't involve marriage or even cohabitation?

There's nothing wrong with marriage. As W_R said (interthreadually), "never say never" so I won't; but it is the furthest thing from my mind when I'm reading profiles.

[epistephiliac]

Maybe this is too delicate a question for some but, is there anyone on the LHC who doesn't have marriage as a goal?

I am finding that most people (men and women) involved in online dating are either looking for a spouse or a good time. Is there anyone looking for a long-term, meaningful relationship that doesn't involve marriage or even cohabitation?

There's nothing wrong with marriage. As W_R said (interthreadually), "never say never" so I won't; but it is the furthest thing from my mind when I'm reading profiles.

Me! I mean, I'm on hiatus, but when I get back on the (metaphorical, virtual) horse, my aim is to find a long-term, serious relationship. Like you, I don't want to say never, but right now I have not the slightest desire to marry. I also have no desire to live with someone. Down the street? Sure. I love convenience. But I have come to treasure my own space, and I love living alone. (I loved living with my husband, too, but I did that for a long time. Maybe after I've spent 16 years on my own I'll want to cohabitate. Or just need someone to push my wheelchair around.)

[contemporary_]

Is there anyone looking for a long-term, meaningful relationship that doesn't involve marriage or even cohabitation?

Yes, especially if you add the word "necessarily" before "involve."

meaningful relationship that doesn't necessarily involve marriage or even cohabitation

[illuminata]

I vote "ambivalent" on marriage. Having been there, done that, and grown weary of cleaning up behind an adult, sharing all the space all the time, etc., I don't know if I'm up for it again or not. I'm not entirely opposed, but the dude would have to be really impressive- and preferably, gone on occasion. ; )

[merce]

I wanna get married

with a GIGANTESQUOUS wedding (of course I have no friends and no family in the U.S. so...)

and have babies (not make them, I mean, not inside my body, but...acquire babies)

[shambelle]

Grassy, you are a woman after my own heart...

I kept thinking about how to respond to some of y'all's postings on here, because it seriously means absolutely nothing - at least not to me - that things were discussed. Does it make me all fluttery and jumpy and stuff? You bet it does.

It was just so odd and unexpected that I wondered.

As for the marriage topic, for me, I'd definitely like to be married somewhere down the road. But I'm young, I'm unsettled, and I like where I am at the moment.

I was definitely NOT thinking marriage when I was looking around. Hell, I wasn't even thinking of anything that involved dating or much of a relationship (and I had zero inclination towards any intimacy, either). I was just poking around to see what was out there when the Cuban's ad caught my eye. I didn't expect it to pan out into anything at all, and I'm (pleasantly) surprised at where we've landed thus far.

Years ago, I would have said "never" to a guy like the Cuban. I'm glad my philosophy and views have changed so much over time. Never say never really is quite a good way to live some parts of life.

Shambelle, I'm with everyone else. Guys don't talk about weddings (in any context) if there isn't a hint of something there.

Phil and I discussed children, house-buying, and whether or not I would keep my last name. He had no intention of marrying me. Sometimes talk is just talk.

Shambelle, I like your attitude. Safe and cool.