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Hubris

Scarlett Johansson To Direct Something For Five-Minutes!

It seems like just yesterday that blonde Obama-supporting large-breasted and beautiful actress Scarlett Johansson burst onto America's celluloid consciousness in Home Alone 3 but that was more then a decade ago. ALl things considering, she's waited a while to start directing. Now, at age 24, Ms. Johansson has decided to let the world know that she has like stuff she wants to say too! Thankfully, all she has to say lasts five minutes. Four of those minutes, we suspect, will consist of meaningful pauses. It's like Pinter but without the words! more »

7:07 AM ON MON JAN 14 2008
BY JOSHUA STEIN
6,985 views, 27 comments

Latest by bananappeal: Wow, her left knee is hot. more »

What celebs move the most magazines? "We looked at the newsstand sales of the six leading celebrity weeklies—People, Star, US Weekly, In Touch Weekly, Life & Style and OK!—over a six-month period ending June 30, as supplied by the Audit Bureau of Circulations. We eliminated all non-celebrity and collage covers as well as special issues with exceptionally large rate bases. Then we counted how many more—or less—issues the celebrity's cover sold, as compared with the magazine's average newsstand sales." Your top three, in order: Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, and Scarlett Johansson. The big loser? Britney Spears. [Forbes]

6 comments

Gossip Roundup

Dina Lohan Celebrates Mother's Day Early

  • Lindsay Lohan's subtle, tasteful mom Dina was working the red carpet at last night's Georgia Rule premiere—as a special correspondent for ET. We're sure she asked some hard-hitting coke tape questions. [Page Six]
  • Jamie-Lynn "Meadow" Sigler pulls a Mandy Moore, admitting that she owes the people who bought her 2001 CD their money back. [Page Six]
  • Scarlett Johansson was spotted crying at the Met gala, ostensibly for awful dress related reasons. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
  • Angelina Jolie flipped out when a paparazzo snapped her bathing her kids. [Us]
    • more »

    10:15 AM ON WED MAY 9 2007
    BY EMILY
    1,212 views, 15 comments

    Latest by Thewritersays: @boudicon cacy: truth hurts. more »

    team anna wintour

    Scarlett Johansson, Others, Make Big Fashion Mistakes At Met Gala

    The Met's Costume Institute Gala's increasing celebrity focus brings out the bitchy queen in the Times' Eric Wilson, who went around last night asking a bunch of poor helpless movie stars whether they'd heard of Paul Poiret, the man they were supposedly honoring. While he reports that America Ferrera "blinked gamely" when quizzed about the art deco-era French designer, he also mentions that "Jennifer Lopez, Renée Zellweger and Sandra Bullock seemed preoccupied with finding the bar" and that Harry Connick Jr. admitted (horrors!) that he'd "never heard of that person before." It is supposed to be all about the fashion, people! On that note, Scarlett Johansson wore kind of the worst dress imaginable. —Emily more »

    12:00 PM ON TUE MAY 8 2007
    BY EMILY
    5,102 views, 42 comments

    Latest by slinkimalinki: hmm...the lower the level of attention the career generates, the higher the boobs get hoiked. she'll be wearing those things on the top of her head in a couple of years' time. more »

    arden wohl

    Are Pothead Socialite Arden Wohl and Scarlett Johansson Doing The Same Dude?

    Who's that pretty girl? Why, it's weed-liking alternasocialite Arden Wohl, walking the runway for Imitation of Christ last fall. It's hard to recognize her without her head jewelry! Front and center at that selfsame show was alternasexpot Scarlett Johansson, and rightly so: we hear that those two gals are pals. But would they still be if, as we also hear, they knew that they're both doing it with the same guy? Our tipster informs us that the man in question is a bicoastal film director, but don't worry: he's only "41," not 104 or however old Woody Allen is now. We asked our friend Arden to confirm/deny/weigh in, but she hasn't gotten back to us yet: she's probably busily prepping for the Nest Foundation benefit and silent art auction that she's co-hosting tonight with Leelee Sobieski and Stella Schnabel, among others. So is it true, or is it a total random lie? What color head jewelry goes with heartbreak? So many questions. —Emily

    IOC's Special Brew     [Style.com]

    4:10 PM ON WED MAR 28 2007
    BY EMILY
    5,431 views, 28 comments

    Latest by asseenonpagesix: bennett miller has a girlfriend...but he definitely sleeps around (especially with girls he 'works' with). oh and he likes them young. more »

    Gossip Roundup

    Gossip Roundup: A Scarlett Woman

  • As Us Weekly planned Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel's wedding, Scarlett Johansson and Justin hooked up in Miami. [Page Six]
  • Lauren Conrad ('star'of 'The Hills') on acting: "It's not that fun, and I'm not that good at it." [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
  • Tara Reid is back to falling down in public. Yay! [Radar]
  • Cheatin'-hearted San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom does the whole rehab-as-image-control thing. [AP]
  • At Marc Jacobs, killed-off 'Lost' actress Michelle Rodriguez proves that this season's hottest accessory is a fake house-arrest ankle bracelet. [TMZ]
  • Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes dance like no one's watching. Unfortch, everyone's watching. [Us Weekly]
    • more »

    12:05 PM ON TUE FEB 6 2007
    BY EMILY
    266 views, 9 comments

    Latest by micke: I'm in rehab right now. more »

    Scarlett Johansson

    G-d Will Not Deny Scarlett Johansson and Woody Allen's Love

    Courtesy a flack at the Forward comes a cheery reminder of how Jews rule the world (aka a press release about the paper's list of the 50 Most Influential Jews in America, published this Friday), complete with overly clever addition of Virginia Senator George Allen in the 51st slot. We've got Jon Stewart (duh), Abe Foxman (bleh), and ... Scarlett Johansson? Pardon us for being late to the party, but we had no idea Scarlett Jo was a member of the tribe. Apparently her mom is Jewish, which makes Woody Allen's love for her that much more ... tender. more »

    5:30 PM ON TUE NOV 7 2006
    BY DOREE
    441 views, 14 comments

    Latest by VoicefromAfar: Besides, the Baldwins come from the wrong part of the Long Island. more »

    Remainders

    Remainders: Donatella Versace Likes Makeup

  • Donatella Versace wrote Allure: Confessions of a Beauty Editor? Funny, she doesn't look like a beauty editor. [R&M;]
  • Conde Nast's new site for teenage girls is called Flip. Yawn. [AnimalNY]
  • George Michael's got a new video! [YouTube]
  • Scarlett Johansson's breasts look both droopy and perky at the same time. Also, she's wearing a toga. [Go Fug Yourself]
    • more »

    6:40 PM ON MON NOV 6 2006
    BY DOREE
    639 views, 6 comments

    Scarlett Johansson

    Scarlett Johansson & Josh Hartnett Plan to Respect the Neighbors

    We're not done with Ms. Johansson just yet. Last week, she and supposed nonsecret lover-manbot Josh Hartnett were observed going over blueprints for a $6 million Tribeca loft the two had purchased together. Discussing the digs with Johansson's dad Karsten, the couple supposedly wanted extra soundproofing on the bedroom to better silence Johansson's dewy moans and Hartnett's perfunctory grunts during joyless bouts of celeb coitus. Hartnett's publicist denies the move-in plans, and one assumes the new arrangement would mean that Hartnett must give up his $2.4 million bachelor pad on Hudson Street. Regardless, they likely should take Karsten Johansson's advice with a grain of salt, given his history of tangling with the IRS over nuisance property liens. more »

    11:20 AM ON MON AUG 14 2006
    BY CHRIS MOHNEY
    619 views, 2 comments

    Latest by catstercat: Aha. That's why he's always at Bubby's. more »

    Media

    Nailing Scarlett Johannson Provides Fodder For Debate on Journalistic Ethics

    Did David Carr and Paul Farhi see the same movie? Using Scoop as a jumping off point, they both wrote pieces on the image of reporters in film. Back at the end of July, Fahri had the following in the Washington Post more »

    10:30 AM ON MON AUG 14 2006
    BY BALK
    190 views, Comment

    Myspace

    Remainders: At Least She Keeps Her Butterfly Backtoo Covered

    • Campbell Brown, you naughty girl! The Today show interim co-host flashes her inexplicable ankle tat -- no idea what that's supposed to be, but she really should've gone for a fairy or a dolphin. [Animal]
    • "Management thought it was very important that Dan Abrams hire someone he wouldn't try to fuck." [FishbowlNY]
    • Remember Friendster? Vaguely, even? They've been awarded a patent for their search methods and may be awarded another in the near future. MySpace pretends to shake in its enormous boots. [WSJ]
    • Scarlett Johansson is becoming increasingly suspect of touching human petri dish Wilmer Valderrama. [HWoW]
    • Who doesn't want to see John Stossel get slapped? [iFilm]
    • Fall asleep to the sounds of Brooklyn hipsters and enjoy your inevitable nightmares on Bedford street. [BrooklynRadio]
    • Palm Beach Police Chief thinks naughty financier Jeffrey Epstein is getting off easy (ba dum dum). [The Blotter]

    7:25 PM ON THU JUL 27 2006
    BY JESSICA2
    1,671 views, 7 comments

    Latest by ellagood: i think that tatoo is, in fact, jack black's shit. more »

    Pbs

    Remainders: PBS Fires 'Technical Virgin'

    • Famous words from the world's best children's entertainer, who has now been sacked from PBS for once appearing in an abstinence parody wherein she said the following: "I've got big plans for my future: a good college, a career, maybe even my own business someday. But one thing I'm not planning on is getting pregnant. That's why I choose anal sex. I mean sure, it hurts a little, and I wind up walking funny for a day or two. But I think my future's worth it." [Salon]
    • Scarlett Johansson signs a multi-year deal with Reebok to develop some sort of inevitably pink-hued clothing line called "Scarlett Hearts Rbk." Way to throw all of your hard work down the drain, missy. [Brandweek]
    • Get Tabloid Wars -- and Greg Gittrich -- free on iTunes! [iTunes]
    • Usefulness aside, we're getting a little sick of the 17 different star systems New York mag uses for their restaurant reviews. [Eater]
    • Today in the world of inexplicable shit: Yvette Clarke has hired Ronn [sic] Torossian to help with her congressional campaign. [Daily Politics]
    • OMG, so, like, Nick Lachey is totes gonna be on TRL tomorrow. We can't wait to watch Vanessa Minnillo go down on him in front of a live studio audience! [ONTD]

    7:00 PM ON TUE JUL 25 2006
    BY JESSICA2
    303 views, 3 comments

    Latest by Constant Dater: Reebok?! I'd forgotten they still exist. more »

    Suri

    Gossip Roundup: Suri's Birth Certificate Does Not a Baby Make

    • Suri Cruise does exist, or at least her birth certificate does. Though, strangely, it was issued 20 days after her birth (the hospital's policy is within 10 days of birth), the attendant who signed the certificate wasn't actually in the room during the birth and the person who signed as certifier is unknown, thanks to an illegible signature. How completely not suspicious. [TMZ]
    • Lloyd Grove identifies the exact moment when Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell discovered their mutual hatred: Rosie's appearance on May 12, 2004 sparked an argument about the black vote and an on-air tirade from Star the next day. No apology to Rosie, either -- thus paving the way for poop soup.[Lowdown]
    • A private equity firm established by U2 nominee and Nobel Peace Prize nominee Bono invests $300 million in a video game called "Mercenary 2: World in Flames." The game revolves around a gun-for-hire sent to blow shit up in Venezuela -- so long as it's not set in Africa, Bono's cool with that. [Page Six]
    • Josh Hartnett is none too pleased when his girl Scarlett Johansson is helicoptered out to the Hamptons by Wilmer Valderrama. The poor guy's just looking out for his sexual health. [Gatecrasher]
    • The bitchy senior assistant in Devil Wears Prada is, unsurprisingly, based on a real-life woman who worked with Weisberger before going on to work at, no joke, Prada. So: what's her name? One of you must know. [Page Six]
    • At a Good Morning America outing at Bowlmor Lanes, Diane Sawyer falls on her ass for two gutterballs. Finally, an activity in which the woman cannot reach perfection. [R&M; (last item)]

    12:45 PM ON MON JUL 10 2006
    BY JESSICA2
    183 views, 5 comments

    Latest by Bubba Barney: I read that too fast, and thought it said something the lines of Suri's death certificate doesn't prove baby exists. Yikes. more »

    Scarlett Johansson

    Scarlett's Just Not That Into Bloomberg

    We mentioned yesterday that Mayor Bloomberg stopped by the set of the Nanny Diaries to announce an expansion to the city's tax credit program for local film and TV productions and, as he said, "to stand next to a real beauty, Scarlett Johansson." But alas, Her Curvitude was not present, prompting staffers to insist that she was on her way. more »

    11:15 AM ON THU MAY 11 2006
    BY JESSICA2
    142 views, 4 comments

    Scarlett Johansson

    Remainders: Please Don't 'Harrass' Scarlett Johansson

    • NB to Scarlett Johansson: You're ours, bitch. You're just pretty property of the paparazzi. If you continue to fight it, you'll only continue to embarrass yourself. [Gilded Moose]
    • Uh, breaking? Britney Spears did not have a press conference today to address pregnancy rumors. So, you know, back to rampant and unfounded speculation. [BlogNYC]
    • One man dared to follow Tom Cruise all over town yesterday. That man is to be respected, but only from afar. Get too close, and he seems kind of scary. [Confessions of a Celebrity Stalker]
    • Now that Mexico has legalized marijuana, cocaine, and heroin, you'll have a much easier time deciding on a vacation locale. [NY Sun]
    • When it comes to Kaavya Viswanathan satire, Forbes' Karl Shmavonian gives Mediabistro's Laurel Touby a run for her money. [Forbes]
    • Our dark master emerges from his gilded loft! Oh, the sunlight, how it stings! [Blogebrity]
    • In the Times' write-up of the Costume Institute Gala, there's but one line you need to read to understand it all: "'Can you believe they're giving us pies?' a British model said when a lamb pie was put in front of her." [NYT]
    • Herve Villachez, just because we feel like it. [Pimpadelic Wonderland via Vidiot]

    7:00 PM ON THU MAY 4 2006
    BY JESSICA2
    240 views, 2 comments

    Latest by amillionpieces: I'm sure I could get used to being harassed by photographers for the money she gets for movies. Harass away, Papz. more »

    Scarlett Johansson

    Scarlett Johansson's Brother, Master of the Game

    Beware the Astoria lesbian bar: Manhattan Offender reports that this weekend, Scarlett Johansson's brother was in attendance and kicking some wild game. Specifically, he approached a potential score -- bold, given the surroundings -- with the following pick-up line: "Hi, I'm Scarlett Johansson's brother." Suave just doesn't cover it. more »

    12:55 PM ON TUE MAR 28 2006
    BY JESSICA2
    230 views, Comment

    Star Jones

    Gossip Roundup: Feeding Star Jones' Book Beast

    • Star Jones scares her publishers into giving her $85K to promote her new book of bariatric affirmations, Shine. The budget is triple that of what was given to Nicole Richie to promote her roman clef, and God knows Richie wrote the better book. [Page Six]
    • Anna Wintour is infinitely disappointed in staffer's decision to eat like a human being. [Lowdown (last item)]
    • Jay McInerney knows his 11-year-old daughter is a hottie. If you can stop shuddering long enough, you might want to call protective services. [Page Six]
    • More edgy analysis on the breakup of Chad Lowe and Hilary Swank: Apparently Lowe didn't like living in the shadow of his Oscar-netting wife. Really? Even if it got him free room and board in their awesome townhouse? [R&M; (2nd item)]
    • Scarlett Johansson is down for a three-way, so long as it doesn't include Match Point co-star Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, who she outs as liking gossip, shoes, and twinks. [Scoop]

    12:20 PM ON TUE JAN 10 2006
    BY JESSICA2
    186 views, Comment

    Nick And Jessica

    Gossip Roundup: Nick & Jessica Take It to the Tabs

    • Divorce is never easy, and it's certainly less so when the couple is also battling for the public's favor. Polls of People and Star magazines' readers reveal that most blame Jessica Simpson for her breakup with Nick Lachey, leading Simpson's publicist Rob Shuter to allegedly plant all sorts of nasty items about Lachey in the gossip columns -- including a big one yesterday. [Lowdown]
    • A Church of Scientology's alternative medicine consultant is facing indictment for fraud, grand theft, and malpractice. Shocking, we know, but it's not her fault -- she was only OT III and clearly didn't know what she was doing. [Page Six]
    • Bill Clinton makes a videotaped appearance at Elton John's bachelorette party. The man just can't stay away from the feminine types. [Gatecrasher]
    • Scarlett Johansson thinks director Woody Allen is obsessed with her love life because he's married and wants to live vicariously. Yeah, sweetie, that's it. [Scoop (last item)]

    10:45 AM ON TUE DEC 20 2005
    BY JESSICA2
    340 views, 2 comments

    Latest by the earl grey: I want to see Match Point just to see how Woody's costume person chose the tennis gear. [brands, logos etc] But I'm the type of person who has 1970s Bjorn Borg Fila & Jimmy Connors/Robert Bruce vintage shorts, several of each. more »