Ice T slams Soulja Boy:

Soulja Boy mocks Ice T:

Ice T hits back:

This isn't about the music any more. Ice T is right; Soulja Boy is the Nickelback of hip-hop. "Crank That" (or at least the remix) is catchy, but his other work is either awful or forgettable. For example, his second hit "Yaah" is a belligerent, childish celebration of being rude.

But the quality of Soulja Boy's music doesn't matter. Ice T has revealed his age and his irrelevance. "Watch the YouTubes," he says, sounding as out of touch as Ted "Series of Tubes" Stevens. Now the argument isn't over the Soulja Boy's talent but over his relevance. Ice T says, "you can't hurt my career 'cause I'm caked out." But all that means is that Soulja Boy can't hurt Ice T's career because it's over anyway.

By escalating the fight, Ice T just helped Soulja Boy keep his young career going. He gave Soulja Boy a chance to talk about Ice T's age (listing things that are younger than Ice T — like Wal-Mart — is a nice touch) and announce that "the game has changed, there's new n—-—s out, and nobody wants to hear that old shit no more." Soulja also earned the support of Kanye West, who blogged:

Soulja boy is fresh ass hell and is actually the true meaning of what hip hop is sposed to be. He came from the hood, made his own beats, made up a new saying, new sound and a new dance with one song. He had all of America rapping this summer. If that ain't Hip Hop then what is? A bunch of wannabe keep it real rappers that ain't even relevant, recycling samples trying to act like it's 96 again and all they do is hate on new shit?

A ridiculous amount of money spread over a ridiculously long contract (10 years), check. A star who seems to have peaked, at least for this celebrity cycle, check. A vanity record label, check (granted, Jay-Z has actually helmed a record label, so the level of vanity is debatable).

This whole thing would be straight out of the 1990s, when many such deals were signed only to later go sour, if the artist were signing with a record label instead of a concert company. But even that wrinkle isn't fresh since Madonna got there first.

Props to Jay-Z for signing a mammoth deal before such arrangements become extinct forever, but the future of music is probably going to look a lot less blingy than this. Picture hundreds of thousands of smaller acts making modest coin of iTunes sales and small concerts.

Anyway, here's a look at all the big record deals that came before Jay-Z's, and that now look a bit less impressive:

Via this ABC News gallery:

• Madonna, $120 million over 10 years with Live Nation. October 2007.
• Michael Jackson, $108 million for six albums. 1991.
• Janet Jackson, $80 million for for records. 1996.
• Mariah Carey, $80 million for four albums, 2001.
• Barbara Streisand, $80 million. 1992.
• REM, $80 million for five records, 1996.
• Metallica, $60 million. 1995.
• Prince, $100 million. 1992.
• Whitney Houston, $100 million. 2001.

Times: In Rapper’s $150 Million Deal, New Model for Ailing Business

If you know anything more, like whether he was using a $100 bill or a gold-plated straw, don't hesitate to holla.

Update: Visual confirmation; cops apparently had a rough time getting the car started once Mr. Cent was taken away.

More pics after the jump.

UpdateUpdate: Apparently hard-ass 50 was busted for either driving without a license or a bunch of other random, boring violations.

Exclusive: Jay-Z at the United Nations [We Don't Smell]

"It has come to my attention that the managing director of Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud views the 'hip-hop' culture as 'unwelcome attention,'" said the 25-year-old. "I view his comments as racist and will no longer support any of his products through any of my various brands including the Observer nor in my personal life."

Kushner plans to replace Cristal — which an Observer spokesman said the paper could never stock enough of — with Krug and Dom Perignon.

Jay-Z Launches Cristal Bubbly Boycot [AP]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Hot Jared Kushner

Photo taken from those halcyon days when Kushner's father was trying to buy the Nets with Jay-Z.

Lil' Kim Leaves Jail as a 'Hips'-Hop Star [NYP]
Lil' Mom Time and a Lil' Hitch [NYDN]

Lil' Kim Released From Federal Prison [AP]

Sent: Thursday, June 01, 2006 10:26 AM
To: Everyone in Hudson Street; Everyone in Hudson Street Others GLW & FP
Subject: Protest Rally Outside 395 Hudson Street Today

We have just been informed by Building Management that there will be a rally today beginning at approximately 2:00 p.m. outside of 395 Hudson Street (across Hudson Street in front of the construction site) protesting comments made by an on-air personality of the radio station. Building Management has assured us that they are taking the necessary precautions to ensure the security of our building and its occupants.

Earlier: Power 105: NY's #1 for Hip-Hop, R&B, and Coprophilia
Hot 97 Too Gangsta for Hudson Street Landlords

From last Wednesday through this Monday, Star, whose real name is Troi Torain, directed racial epithets at Gia Casey — the wife of DJ Envy, whose real name is Raashaun Casey — and expressed his desire to urinate and ejaculate on the Caseys' 4-year-old daughter. He also offered $500 for information on where the girl attends school.

"Yes, I disrespected your seed," Star said on air. "If you didn't hear me, I said, I would like to do an R. Kelly on your seed, on your little baby girl. I would like to tinkle on her."

And to think, you've been foolishly paying for premium cable and website passwords when this shit's on the radio for free.

DJ Star Off the Air [Metro]

While all the building's tenants deserve to feel safe, this is a pimp cup brimming with unjust panic. Hot 97 has been doing kind of well, actually. There have been only three shootings at the station since 2001: the first two involved associates of Lil' Kim (now in jail for perjury) and that of 50 Cent and The Game, and it's unfair to expect these rappers to control every angry twitch of their posses. In a marked improvement, the third shooting, occuring just last week, was a simple bullet in the ass of some guy calling himself "Gravy." Frankly, we be applauding the decrease in violence.

Hip Hop Station Too Hot for Landlord [TSG]
Hot 97: Evicted? [VV]
'Beat It,' Union Tells Hot 97 [NYDN]

But we're more curious about the "mistreatment" that the flyer is protesting. How has Kim been mistreated? By the warden removing her extensions? By taking away her fake nails and MAC foundation? By withholding her mink eyelashes and glitter pasties? Better get the ACLU all up in this piece.

Mistreatment for Lil' Kim? [Philadelphia Will Do]

Of course you do: Man-on-the-Street interviews! And where did CBS 2 go to find the best insights on hip-hop and violence? Why, a barbershop. Those places are always full of authentic black folks. For tomorrow's follow-up, maybe they can head to Popeye's for some sassy soundbites?

Total Devastation at Busta Rhymes Video Shoot

So there's a clear motive: Yayo killed Ramirez because he wouldn't be able to drink vodka and fondle bitches on camera.

And how are you celebrating Black History Month?

Busta Gem's Guard Slain in Video Shoot [NYP]

MC JC [The Hanging Stranger]
Earlier: Rolling Stone and Kanye: Jesus Walks, Poses, Gives Interviews

Lest you find the cover offensive, remember that it's okay if a magazine uses a person of color as Jesus — that conveys sympathy and respect. If it were Mark Wahlberg or Piper Perabo tied to the cross, however, that would mean eternal damnation.

Rolling Stone
Related: Does Jesus Sell Magazines?

We recommend you read the piece just for a hateful chuckle, but if you can't make it past the first 5 paragraphs because of projectile vomiting, we've a handy list of why Scott Storch deserves to be bound, gagged, and flogged:

• He has called himself the Meyer Lansky of hip-hop.
• He bought Paris Hilton a Bentley while they were dating.
• He charges $80 - $90k per song and produced 80 tracks last year.
• He has a "leggy but silent" Brazilian girlfriend.
• His yacht is named Storchavelli.
• He owns 13 different cars and drives something different every day.
• He wears a 32-carat canary-yellow ring.
• He willingly posed for that portrait.

A Producer of Hip-Hop Gets Behind an Heiress [NYT]

Gerald use to run an imprint for Norton called Old School, where he basically rereleased the out-of-issue books by hard-boiled black fiction writers. In 1999/2000, Marc Gerald tried to launch the same concept of 150-page gangsta-lit novellas in partnership with Def Jam, Norton Books and Wesley Snipes, called The Syndicate. The books were to be pitched as movies, would contain soundtrack CDs, and, if successful, would presumably be used as vehicles for Snipes and/or his production company, Amen Ra.

Sound familiar? It should, as it's the same as the current deal with 50 Cent's imprint.

And then, after much press, things just kind of disappeared. So what happened? We hear, just via the gossip grapevine, that Gerald's writer contracts cut out of any promise of future deals. The idea was that the books were company "franchises," one-offs to be written by anybody they wished. So, in theory, you signed a pretty low advance and if, God forbid, the book did well, you were in no position to negotiate for more dough later. You'd already signed off all the property rights to Gerald and Norton.

A source also informs us that those writers who eventually signed and/or started spec manuscripts often found unusually intense "notes" from Gerald and company — the idea being that the more the writers took on ideas from notes, the less the writer could claim ownership of his or her writing. Shady, but not surprising.

Equally shady and slightly more surprising, the books were pitched to most black writers as targeted to the 18-24 year old age group. Once the two or three that were completed started coming out, it became pretty clear that the demo was much younger than originally anticipated, which did not sit well with the writers, given the violence in the books. Worse, several writers found their original approved manuscripts miraculously "blackened" with "ghetto language" that they did not write. The project quickly fell apart.

If the above hearsay (and it is just hearsay) is true, it would seem than Gerald has apparently resurrected his idea for the sake of 50 Cent. So is 50 aware of the plan's first attempt? And, if so, hopefully he won't add any more "blackening" than necessary.

Related: Hip-Hop Launches New Breed of Black Pulp Fiction [Salon]

50 Cent: I scare people. For $16.99, they buy my cd and I scare them.
Today: But it's not real.
50 Cent: That's my job.

And just like that, those 9 bullets of street cred are lost in the Connecticut breeze.

Not knowing how to handle this significant mistake, the rapper coped with his loss by using his body armor to beat the children senseless, at which point he quickly took his extra money back, hopped into his Escalade, and rode off into the ghetto sunset.

50 Cent's Money Mistake [ContactMusic]