Warning: This item contains uncharacteristic doses of sincerity.

• It's amazing that Boston still has a New York City complex, especially when they can showcase fashionable trendsetters like this. It's as if the Sears catalog had its own version of the Look Book. [Boston.com]
• Joe Sexton ascends to Metro editor at the Gray Lady, presumably because he knows "every surviving beer joint within ten blocks of Times Square." [Romenesko]
• While the Mirror caught Madonna appearing "ropey," Hello! catches her looking rather nice at the exact same event. We don't know which glossy hackhouse to believe. [Hello!]
• You stay classy, Williamsburg. [Williamsboard]
• So does this mean Trent Reznor no longer wants to fuck anybody like an animal? [TMZ]
• Country singer Kenny Chesney might not be a gay cowboy after all. He's just be into haggard, old flight attendants with a slight case of the nutsies. [Good As You]
• Just before they turn the lights out, The Black Table eeks out one last list of maniacal beer reviews. It's easier to say goodbye if you're blackout drunk. [BlackTable]

In the name of the Black Table, Mac Montandon dares to chase the dream, attempting to live an entire Manhattan workweek free of charge. Armed with little more than a roster of fake magazines for which he claims to be working (Jew York, DEETS, Ebony & Ivory and Party of One), Montandon manages an entire week of free food, water, shelter and socializing, all courtesy of idiot publicists. Even more disturbing, not a single place questioned him. His swag totals:

It's a shame Stuff EIC Jimmy Jellinek is married, because his interview today with the Black Table has us ready and willing to give him a whole brood of media-whore babies:

From the Black Table's Black List, the source for all your various disgruntlements:

It's time for the latest edition of The Black Table's Rock and a Hard Place, A.J. Daulerio's notoriously disgusting column devoted to offending journalists as best he can (which is probably what prompted his recent adoption into our perverse family as editor of Oddjack). Today Daulerio takes on Time graduate, talking head, and LA Times scribe Joel Stein. Things, as they often do, turned to the topic of LA Weekly's resident fury, Nikki Finke, who would likely roast Stein on a spit if she had the chance.

The Black Table tests the city's new 311 servicea line you can call for non-emergency problems. Should you need a permit for ice fishing in Central Park, however, you should call the New York State Department of Conservation.
Fun with 311! [Black Table]

The Black Table's Scott Dickensheets hasn't actually seen a copy of Maer Roshan's new mag, Radar (which hits newstands tomorrow), but figures he's read enough reviews and seen enough previews that he "knows all about it." "Such clouds of hype have enveloped the launch of Radar magazine that even young Iraqis in the desirable looting demograhics have stopped to tell CNN how delighted they are by editor Maer Roshan's quirky editorial philosophy and determination not to treat celebrities with the usual glossy obeisance." (I'd link to the neverending love-it/hate-it reviews, but reviewing the reviews is more entertaining. And far less substantive!)
The bleeps, the sweeps and the creeps: Radar Magazine pops up on the radar screen [BlackTable]

Gawker intern/Black Table contributor Lindsay Robertson has now accumulated a healthy group of stalkers at Craig's List, thanks to her weekly Craig's List roundup. The people impersonating her are the creepiest. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay! Everyone wants to be Lindsay! Just as well, though. Lindsay may soon be giving up her Craig's List duties to pen an 800 word book proposal for a novel about a young gossip column intern who's consistently abused by her bossa bitchy editor from Alabama who demands that her martinis be mixed just so. Let the bidding war begin!
The week in Craig [Black Table]

Matt Tobey and Clare Zulkey fill in for Lindsay Robertson (our new intern, incidentally) on this week's Craig's List roundup. This week: the "Pee Wee Herman on crack" look, millionaires seeking dates, couples seeking an extra "wife", and Mary Kay products.
The Week in Craig [BlackTable]

The Black Table's Lindsay Robertson reads Craig's Listso you don't have to. This week: "threesomes, the effect of bricks on penises" and "Jay Schultz." (There are 80 Jay Schultzes in New York, but the Craig's Listers are all sure they're talking about the same guy.)
The week in Craig [BlackTable.com]

Once again, Lindsay Robertson's weekly Craig's List roundup: "This week on the list, Dry Humping, scary poetry, Geek Love and introducing The Short Shorts Guy!"
The week in Craig [BlackTable.com]

This week on Craig's List: The mysterious person who refers to himself as "Cowboy Jacob" and has posted multiple ads provokes a flurry of responses, the creation of a fan club, and "I fucked Cowboy Jacob" t-shirts.
The week in Craig [BlackTable]

The Observer's passing mention last week of The Balloonistthe new magazine Dave Eggers (McSweeney's, Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius) is startinghas generated a bit of curiosity. Eggers hasn't really talked about it and Google searches are futile. The Black Table speculates. [Ed. noteI'm just waiting for Russ Smith to write a WSJ editorial where he screams "hubris" and says he never liked Dave Eggers anyway.]
Is Dave Eggers trying to break our hearts? Searching for answers about The Balloonist [TheBlackTable]

This week, from The Black Table's Craig's List Correspondent, Lindsay Robertson: Stalking Tina Fey, douche wars, wave-size versus ocean-motion, and Jimmy Choos for sex.
The week in Craig [The Black Table]

It's the weekly Craig's List roundup from Lindsay Robertson! Topics du jour: Valentine's Day hangovers, protest sex, nonsensical yammering, the new yellow peril, and the Strokes.
The week in Craig [BlackTable]

The Black Table's Greg Lindsay on P. Diddy's new women's line: "I am still trying to decide if I know of any women who might wear a leather dress with a train, and am still wondering what the final pulsing image of the showthe drawn climax of Scarface, such an original and daring homage now that everyone has the DVD in their 'Cribs'has anything, but anything, to do with women's clothes."
Puffy and bloated: notes on the fashion week that was [BlackTable]

The Black Table's Will Leitch: "It was Restaurant Week, and it brought out all kinds. At least we had bathed."
Even swarthy minions must eat [The Black Table]