Mel's Innocent!

Secret Police Tapes Reveal All

It is time to set the record straight. Mel Gibson is innocent. After a close examination of the secret police tapes, a lot of people owe the actor an apology.

Gibson is not anti-Semitic, a xenophobe or a bigot. His only flaw is his passion. The crazed actor of Lethal Vision is just nuts about baseball! That's why he was arrested.

It is a sport without class or racial divides. But there is controversy. Growing up with legends like Babe Ruth, Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle, it is hard to believe that steroids (street name: "juice") have overtaken the sport. Congress is conducting hearings on the matter, baseball fans are depressed and Mel is outraged.

The same week of his arrest, someone leaked a rumor that a grand jury would indict Barry Bonds for steroid use. Gibson, the baseball fanatic, couldn't handle it, went on a bender, and you know what that led to - miscommunication! Remember Woody Allen's complaint in "Annie Hall" about anti-Semitism in New York?


ROB (Tony Roberts): Alvy, you're a total paranoid.

ALVY: Wha? How am I a paran-? Well, I pick up on those kinda' things. You know, I was having lunch with some guys from NBC, so I said ... uh, "Did you eat yet or what?" and Tom Christie said, "No, didchoo?" Not, did you, didchoo eat? Jew? No, not did you eat, but Jew eat? Jew. You get it? Jew eat?

It is not the "Jews" that Mel is concerned about. It's the "juice" - anabolic steroids - in baseball. Here's what the secret transcript says:

MEL: F*ck juice!

IRISH COP: Beggin' your pardon? (while writing: "F*ck Jews" in report)

MEL: (slurred) Juice errr… responsible for all the war in the world.

COP: Come, now, laddie… (writing: "The Jews are responsible…")

MEL: (indignation in voice) Are yoooo uhhhnn jewooice?

COP: Ha! Me a Jew, that's a good one! (writing "Are you a Jew?")

It is obvious to all but the most callous that Gibson was concerned about baseball, not Zionism. How quickly we rush to judgment. It was 2 a.m. and Mel was drunk, so we can expect the Australian's diction to be somewhat confusing.

For example, of the many ethnic generalizations for Jewish men, a stocky traffic cop with a shaved head and an Irish name, pounding the graveyard shift in Malibu, is not among them. The real question was whether the muscular officer was on steroids, something that obviously weighed very heavily on Mr. Gibson.

It is time to bury the axe; forgive Mel for his drunken behavior and focus on the real culprit: Barry Bonds!!

Mel was inarticulate, but he was right. It's the juice, stupid.

Vice Is Nice

Miami's Fashion Week Was All Fire and Ice

In South Beach, Miami, the heat was on as Bikini Runway Chic Week got underway. It was a playboy paradise; it was Fantasy Island; Miami Vice with Ice, Ice Baby.

The masses of fashionistas, celebrities, socialites and debutantes all with invites in hand anxiously pressed for access into The Raleigh Hotel lobby for the show and then the after-party. Security Stood sternly; arms crossed, frowns in place - no invite, no show. "Please move, you're blocking the entrance and ruining my suntan."

In Miami, you wear your sunglasses in your bikini bottom, your diamond necklace around your waist and plenty of exotic, ethnic necklaces, mixed, matched and piled thick around your neck and low bosom. It's a very slimming effect.

And into the show you go! Rosa Cha declared that the bikini is here to stay. Amir's styles, influenced by World Cup colors, were bold. Sexy navy blue lace bottoms and push up bras kept everything taught and tight. Red Carter was naughty, naughty with some tongue-in-cheek humor. He styled his male models in blushing pink bikini bottoms and his female models in an S&M; bondage look - yet no thongs or polka dots in sight. Lycra's show was a tribute to the last 60 years of the bikini, the Bond girl look and sailor short-short styles. The accessories were very American girl, apple pie on the sly. Inca styles were more conservative than last season: neutral colors and simple, chic, easy-to-wear looks.

Then, it was on to the after party. Opening night was held at the Mynt Lounge/ROK Bar. The vibe, style and beautiful people were amazing. The second night, at Micheal Capponis' Mansion and The Forge, which hosted the Miss Sixty Show, the SOBE girl drew incredible looks.

NYC Notes: Pier 1 Imports held a soiree for new line Loft 21. It's modern chic furniture and lounge styles for less than expected, and in sizes that won't make your Manhattan apartment feel like a walk-in closet. Museum of the City of New York hosted a fundraiser for Amnesty International to help stop human trafficking.

- Esther Nash

A Stitch in Time

Stars Remember 9/11

Monday, Sept. 11, 2006, will mark the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon in Washington. Hollywood pays homage with Oliver Stone's "World Trade Center." As we all will surely do, these celebrities recall where they were on 9/11.

Jennifer Connelly: "We live in downtown Manhattan. I was home alone with Kai, my son, holding him in my arms when the second plane hit. I gasped, and he put his hand on my face and said, 'Shhh, mommy, mommy, don't get upset; you're the grown-up.'

Woody Allen: "I was in my kitchen. Right then and there, the whole country knew it was terrorism. Soon Yi and myself went out to give blood, and I was so heartened and amazed that we walked to Lenox Hill Hospital - the lines around the block - if I had a movie like that, it be the biggest hit of my life.

Sandra Bullock: "I was at the SoHo Grand Hotel. I was back in my room, and all of a sudden I see a huge explosion outside my window. Our hotel was evacuated. We started running on foot uptown in the mass hysteria. It was just insane."

Nicolas Cage: "I was at home in Los Angeles. At first, like the rest of us, I thought that it wasn't real. I saw those images; that I'll never be able to get out of my head. It's as simple as that."

Moby: "I woke up to the sound of an explosion and people screaming. I ran to my roof to see both buildings of the World Trade Center on fire, and I couldn't stop shaking."

- Nicole Berger, Lisa Gorman

Sake Heaven

Celebrating A Potent Wine

The Japanese attribute divine qualities to sake. The potent rice wine is served at almost all Shinto ceremonies. But true aficionados know that sake actually comes from China, where it was brewed as far back as 4,800 BC.

The Japanese are relatively new to the game. They started brewing it around 300 AD. Lacking cultivated yeast, a whole village would chew rice, chestnuts and millet and regurgitate the mash into vats. (Honest) Today, sake connoisseurs engage in a slightly more civilized event, "The Joy of Sake." It's the largest tasting in the United States, featuring 299 premium brands. It's coming Sept. 28, to the Puck Building, 295 Lafayette Street.

No regurgitated brews are expected, but restaurants Bao 111, Geisha, Kai, Megu, Riingo, Sakagura, Sumile, SushiSamba, Tocqueville, Woo Lae Oak and wd-50 will provide food. Tickets, $75 in advance ($90 at the door), are available at www.joyofsake.com or 212-799-7243. Drink all you like, sake reportedly doesn't cause a hangover.

Ireland's Mississippi

An uncomplicated and ancient way to discover Ireland's back country is by boat. The River Shannon reveals a hidden slice of the Republic's magic. My self-guided, inland boat cruise started in Carrick-on-Shannon, an archetypal, mid-sized Irish town with a narrow main street and not a franchise in sight.

The river segues from wide to narrow channels to island-filled lakes. Marshes, woods, quaint homes and castles line the way. Depending upon how far you venture, you need to quickly become adept at lock navigation and docking. Boyle was the big town on my route. I went upland to visit a Dolmen, Ireland's answer to Stonehenge. Boyle Abbey, a 12th Century marvel, also has a B&B.; Boyle's King House is a 1730 Georgian mansion. In its glory days, it was a British barracks for the heroic Connaught Rangers - who fought far and wide for the empire. Nearby, Lavin's is a dandy pub to wind down after an inspiring day.

- Bruce Northam

Tennis Royalty

Hall of Fame Gala Draws Game's Elite

Labor Day weekend in New York City is the one time of year when tennis reigns supreme. The U.S. Open is played with a distinct New York flare over a fortnight at the Flushing Meadow Tennis Center. But if you really want to capture the glamour of the event, then "The Newport in New York Gala" at the Waldorf Astoria is the place to be.

The star-studded event is expected to draw 500 people, including tennis Hall of Famers John McEnroe and Tracy Austin, plus current tour stars and celebrities. Patrick Rafter, Gabriela Sabatini and Gianni Clerici will be inducted into the Tennis Hall of Fame, which will benefit from a live auction.

Up for grabs will be tickets to the hit Fox show "24," the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Party, the Grammy Awards and a taping of the next "American Idol." For Tickets, call 212-843-1740 or email NewportInNewYork@hgnyc.com.

Meet Johnny Rocker

CMJ Music Marathoners To Swarm New York

Once again, New York is bracing for an invasion of rock-star wannabes. They'll descend some 100,000 strong on Lincoln Center in October for the 2006 CMJ Music Marathon.

A staple of the East Coast music scene for the past 25 years, CMJ spotlights thousands of rising stars in around-the-clock showcases at the city's most important venues. "There will be something for anyone who's interested in contemporary music and entertainment," says Carla Hay, the Marathon's panel director.

Past performers have included the likes of R.E.M., Green Day, the Black Eyed Peas and Eminem. Musical legends such as Patty Smith, Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson have also performed. This year, the CMJ FilmFest will run concurrently with the Marathon, celebrating the best in new music, film and pop culture. For information, go to www.cmj.com marathon.

- Samantha Chang

Hip-Hop Nation

Scion Film Festival Features Urban Culture

The nation's afro-beat, hip-hop and street-art cultures will be showcased in a series of films highlighting the fourth annual "Route 06: Scion Independent Film Series," which is hitting six cities over the next four months.

The festival arrived in New York in August and will play through November. One movie a month will be screened here and in Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Seattle, Austin and Atlanta. Featured films include: "Infamy," "Favela Rising," "Just for Kicks," and "Next: A Premier on Urban Painting." "I am excited to be working closely with Scion to reach people who otherwise wouldn't have access to the important stories told in these films," says Jeff Zimbalist, co-director of "Favela Rising."

The full schedule of events is available online at www.scion.com/route.

- Samantha Chang>

 

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