ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) — Sitting in court just behind her son, Aicha el-Wafi watched intently Tuesday as the government tried to build a case for executing terrorist conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui.

"I don't feel my body anymore," the mother said of her ordeal that began shortly after Sept. 11, 2001. That's when Moussaoui, jailed on an immigration charge in Minnesota, emerged as a suspect in the attacks.

Relations between mother and son have been strained, and she explained why during a recess in the death penalty case.

Alienated from his lawyers, Moussaoui had asked his mother not to talk to the legal team. When she did so in an effort to help him, he got mad at her.

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"I'm his mother and I love him," she said simply, her remarks translated by French reporters on hand for the trial. Moussaoui's family, from Morocco, moved to France, where he grew up as a French citizen.

Moussaoui's mother seemed concerned about her son's demeanor, saying that "for me, he is another Zacarias," that he appears to be on medication so that "he remains calm."

The defendant, however, tossed off a few comments as he left the courtroom: "God curse America" and "God bless Osama bin Laden."

Moussaoui's journey to the U.S. courthouse in Alexandria, his mother has said, apparently began when he went to England and became involved with radical Muslim clerics. From there, the path led to one of bin Laden's training camps in Afghanistan.

Moussaoui declares himself to be an al-Qaida member personally chosen by bin Laden to fly a plane into the White House during a post-Sept. 11 attack.

His mother seems unwilling to believe that her son would actually have committed a terrorist act, yet she accepts the fact that he pleaded guilty.

"They have made a scapegoat of him," she said of the U.S. government, "but with his own agreement."

Of the son she no longer seems to know, she says, "I don't know if he wants to be a martyr or not."

Like any parent, she carries the guilt of not being able to help.

"If I had more money, I would have done more," she said.

She plans to go to court each day even though her son seems not to care.