In Collision Course, Irwin's big-screen theatrical debut, the impassioned wildlife crusader offers the same elements that make his TV show irresistible — dangerous beasties, daring captures, and the voluble host's unique, lively brand of all-ages "edutainment." Unfortunately, the wide-eyed Aussie is on-screen only half of the time, leaving the remainder of the film to a lame-brained espionage caper.

Said spy romp involves a downed satellite beacon which lands in the outback and is devoured by a voracious croc. The heads of two competing CIA branches — one attempting to avert worldwide exposure of top-secret information, and the other led by a rogue director intent on beating his rival to a promotion — soon come looking for the gizmo. It doesn't matter exactly what information is at stake or who's after it, because this barely explained setup is merely an excuse to put Irwin and his admirably calm wife, Terri, on the run with the toothsome critter.

Agents Wheeler (Lachy Hulme) and Archer (Kenneth Ransom) head to Australia in pursuit of the lost device, but their efforts are soon undermined by an undercover counter-operative (Kate Beahan) planning to steal the prize right from under their noses. And thwarting all three agents' progress is a shotgun-totin' farmer named Brozzie (Magda Szubanski), whose dislike of people is only surpassed by her hatred of a certain cattle-munching croc — the very same reptile with the beacon in his belly. The bucolic slapstick that ensues from this scenario plays like an awful Hee Haw-meets-Get Smart sitcom, offering nary an original or clever moment.

Hulme, Ransom, and Beahan cruise through their roles with all the dramatic heft of a Power Rangers movie, while the portly Brozzie character is played only for hillbilly humor and typical obesity guffaws. No one would expect a Crocodile Hunter movie to offer the wit of Oscar Wilde, but this inane rural subplot merely sucks time away from the more dynamic Irwins.

Oblivious to the international espionage at hand, Steve, Terri, and their patient pooch Sui spend most of the film cheerfully collecting all manner of deadly creatures for relocation — including the coveted croc, of course. And when the agents converge upon the unsuspecting Irwins, the couple presume their pursuers are poachers and make a hasty escape.

In a surprisingly successful cinematic gimmick, the Irwins' scenes are directed in the manner of the TV show, with Steve exuberantly narrating their actions to the camera. It's a gamble that might have easily failed, but the tactic jazzes half of the movie with a wacky energy completely missing from the rest of the picture. And although the animal-rescue plot line is obviously scripted, the unpredictable nature of venomous spiders and snakes adds tension and excitement that screenwriter Holly Goldberg Sloan (The Big Green) apparently couldn't pen around the spies.

Collision Course is clearly aimed at family audiences, with additional scatological humor added for the younger set. And while there's nothing funny about the CIA subplot, what is amusing is the Irwins' handling of the related events, and the way in which their captured menagerie is incorporated into the action. On a more serious note, fervid animal activist Irwin also includes warnings about man's encroachment upon natural habitats, illustrated by the unfortunate discovery of kangaroo roadkill. And where else can the kiddies learn about necrotic venom and crocodilian digestion this summer?

True to its name, Collision Course features two completely separate plots barreling toward one another. Until the final confrontation, the Irwins and the government agents have no scenes together, and even after they converge on-screen, there's little contact between their characters. It's as though Collision Course were two separate movies written, directed, and produced by completely different teams and then edited together. Unfortunately, only one of these movies is worth watching, and everything that's worthwhile about Collision Course can already be seen on television. Longtime Crocodile Hunter series director John Stainton is clearly comfortable handling Steve and Terri's adventures with the show's trademark edifying humor, but the cinematography and production values barely meet theatrical quality. Why pay for these croc files when you can just watch Animal Planet at home? Crikey!

— MARY KALIN-CASEY