Birth

Korean women have been encouraged to produce male children. In the past, prosperity was judged by the number of male offspring in a family. No matter how many daughters were born, the absence of a male child was grounds for divorce, and men often took concubines with the hope of fathering a son.

The son preference is rooted deeply in the Confucian patriarchal system. It was the women's duty to produce a male heir to ensure the continuance of her husband's bloodline so that he could perform important ancestral rites.

As the birth of a son was considered a blessing from various spirits, many prayers and rituals were undertaken by women with the hope of receiving such a blessing. Women often prayed and made offerings to the samsin halmeoni (grandmother spirit), the Big Dipper, mountain spirits, Buddha, and to certain rocks and trees considered to be sacred. According to the myth of Korea's founding, such an offering was made by the mother of Dan-gun, the founder of Korea, under a large tree before his birth. These shrines were usually visited and prayers offered in the dead of night or in the early dawn after certain ablutions had taken place. A woman might make such offerings for a period of anywhere between 21 to 100 days.

Of these spirits, samsin halmeoni was most associated with childbirth. Koreans believe this spirit had a hand in the birth of children and that it cared for the child's growth and rearing as well. Folding white paper or some clean straw in a corner of the anbang room, this makeshift shrine was used as a place for women to bring offerings and say their prayers. Only with the protection of samsin halmeoni, it was believed, could an easy birth occur and the mother's quick recovery be assured. The Mongolian spot, or blue mark found on the buttocks of Asian infants was thought to be the place where the spirit slaps the infant to bring it to life.

When pregnancy occurs, there are many rules and taboos that must be observed to ensure a healthy child and a safe delivery. The woman must not approach nor do anything considered to be unclean. She must not kill anything. She must be careful where she urinates and must not step over a straw rope, steal or do other mischievous things. If the woman does any of these things it is believed she will either have a difficult delivery, bear a child that may be retarded or diseased, or cause some other misfortune to befall the family. Also, there are many foods such as rabbit, squid, crab, eggs and peaches that are considered harmful to eat. It was thought, for example, that if the mother consumed a great deal of chicken, the skin of the child would be prickly like a chicken; likewise, if she ate a large share of duck meat, the child would walk like a duck. For the health of the child and the mother, all of the family members cooperated and saw to it that these taboos were respected.

As the time of delivery approaches, the fireplace and holes in paper doors should not be repaired, and the family should not see a burning house as they are considered bad luck and will adversely affect the unborn child. To ensure an easy delivery, all doors are kept open, the husband's clothes are used as quilts, and clothes are borrowed from a woman who had an easy childbirth to cover the woman from the onset of labor.

There are various ways of trying to determine the gender of the unborn child. Some involve the physical appearance of the pregnant woman, others involve dream interpretation; still others involve complicated calculations based on the ages of the parents. If the mother dreams about horses, oxen, dragons, tigers, bears, or other large animals, she will deliver a male child. If she dreams of flowers or toys that girls play with, she will deliver a female child.

Upon the birth of a child, a straw rope, or geumjul, is hung across the gate to the house. These talismans are used to frighten away evil spirits as well as to warn people not to enter the premises, as a child has recently been born. The rope, twisted in a leftward spiral, is usually intertwined with pine branches and red peppers, signifying a male, or pine branches and charcoal indicating a female. This custom varies from region to region with seaweed, small rocks and pieces of paper often intertwined in the rope. The geumjul is usually posted for 21 days. If more children are desired, the afterbirth, including the placenta, is burned under the eaves of the house. If no more children are desired, these are burned some distance from the house, usually in a clean, sunny place on the side of a mountain. The ashes are often scattered to the winds or in a river.

For seven days after childbirth, rice and seaweed soup are offered to the samsin halmeoni during the mornings and evenings. These foods are then eaten by the mother to aid in her recovery. Special offerings are made on the 14th and 21st days after birth.

Family members are careful not to show their happiness over the birth of a child and do not speak of its beauty or health, as such behavior and speech are thought to make the spirits jealous, thereby causing potential harm to the child. To ensure that this does not happen, children are often given lowly nicknames like Dog's Dung, Straw Bag and Stonehead. Also, in order to keep the spirits happy, no animals are butchered and people in mourning and those who have taken part in a funeral are not permitted to enter the house. It is feared such activities will bring the wrath of the spirits on the family, and especially, on the newborn child.



Birthday Celebrations

In Korea, on the 100th day after a child's birth, a small feast is prepared to celebrate the child's having survived this difficult period. If the child is sick at this time, the family passes the day with neither announcement nor party, for to do otherwise may bring bad luck for the infant.

At this time, the spirit is honored with offerings of rice and soup in gratitude for having cared for the infant and the mother, and for having helped them live through a difficult period. The family, relatives and friends then celebrate with rice cakes, wine, and other delicacies such as red and black bean cakes sweetened with sugar or honey.

To prevent potential harm to the child and to bring him or her good luck and happiness, red bean cakes are customarily placed at the four compass points within the house. If the steamed rice cakes are shared with 100 people, it is believed that the child will have a long life. Therefore, rice cakes are usually sent to as many people as possible to help celebrate the happiness of the occasion. Those who receive rice cakes return the vessels with skeins of thread, expressing the hope of longevity, and rice and money, symbolizing future wealth.

Such customs are also part of the dol, or first birthday, celebration. Because of the high infant mortality rates in the past, this celebration is considered to be even more important. Like the 100th day celebration, it begins with offerings of rice and soup to the spirit. However, the highlight of this celebration is when the child symbolically foretells his or her own future.

Dol, the first birthday celebration

For this ritual, the child is dressed in new traditional clothes. The child is seated before a table of various foods and objects such as thread, books, notebooks, brushes, ink and money which have all been given to the family by friends and relatives. The child is urged to pick up an object from the table, as it is believed the one selected first will foretell the child's future. If the child picks up a writing brush or book, for example, he is destined to be a scholar. If he picks up money or rice, he will be wealthy; cakes or other food, a government official; a sword or bow, a military commander. If the child picks up the thread, it is believed he will live a long life.

This is followed by feasting, singing and playing with the toddler. Most often guests will present gifts of money, clothes, or gold rings to the parents for the child at this time. Upon departure, guests are given packages of rice cakes and other foods to take with them. This sharing of rice cakes is thought to bring the child long life and happiness.

The hwan-gap, or 60th birthday, has also been considered an especially important birthday celebration, for this is the day when one has completed the zodiacal cycle. Even more important is the fact that, in the past, before the advent of modern medicine, not many people lived to be 60 years old. A hwan-gap was therefore a time of great celebration when children honor their parents with a large feast and much merrymaking.

Hwan-gap, the 60th birthday celebration

With the parents seated at the main banquet table, sons and daughters, in order of age, bow and offer wine to their parents. After the direct descendants have performed this ritual, the father's younger brothers and their sons and then younger friends pay their respects in the same manner. While these rituals are being carried out, traditional music is usually played and professional entertainers sing songs, urging people to drink.

Family members and relatives indulge in various activities to make the parents feel young, often dressing like small children and dancing and singing songs. In the old days, guests would compete in composing poetry or songs in celebration of the occasion.

In the past, years after the 60th birthday were regarded as extra years and although subsequent birthdays called for a celebration, they were not observed as lavishly as the hwan-gap party. Upon the 70th birthday, or "gohui," meaning old and rare, another celebration equal in scale with the hwan-gap was celebrated. Ordinary birthday celebrations of each member of the family calls for ample food, wine and specially prepared delicacies although smaller in size and scope than the hwan-gap and the first birthday celebrations (dol).



Marriage

The 60th wedding anniversary is accorded big celebrations. Not only does this anniversary mark the successful achievement of a long and productive life but it signifies that longevity was shared by two people. One might wonder how it was possible that a couple live to see their 60th anniversary, but in the past, people usually married at an early age. During the Joseon period, marriage at the age of 12 was not uncommon; women, however, generally married at the age of 16. The bridegroom tended to be a couple of years younger than the bride, especially among upper-class families. For financial reasons, males of the lower classes tended to marry at a later age. Nevertheless, most people usually were married before the age of 20.

As boys and girls traditionally were not allowed to get together on their own, there was little chance for love to develop. And, if by some chance, there was the igniting of a romantic spark, it was never allowed to be expressed. In Confucian society, the ability to repress one's emotions was regarded as a sign of good upbringing and education.

In the past, affection or love played no part in the choice of a spouse. The young couple had little or nothing to say in the matter since marriage usually was arranged by the parents with the aid of a matchmaker. The couple generally did not meet until the day of the wedding. Times have changed, however, and there are now two paths leading to marriage. The first, yeonae, or a love match, involves the meeting, falling in love, and marriage of two people without the involvement of third party. The second, jungmae, or arranged marriage, involves the arranged meeting of two people by a go-between and leads, upon agreement of the two parties, to marriage.

The year, month, day and hour of birth are thought to influence one's destiny. These critical data are referred to as the four pillars, saju. A thorough examination of the four pillars of the man and woman determines if they can live harmoniously together as a married couple. Referred to as gunghap divination, the future fortunes of a couple's life together are divined by a fortuneteller, an event which is considered an essential part of the marriage process. If the gunghap predicts difficulty or misfortunes, the two parties may lose interest and cancel plans for marriage.

When the four pillars and gunghap are considered acceptable, the couple becomes engaged. At the engagement ceremony, the two families get together at the girl's house or sometimes at a hotel or restaurant, but never at the boy's house. The two young people exchange gifts, and a piece of hand-made white paper on which the man's four pillars have been written is ceremoniously presented to the girl's family. A discussion follows and the marriage date is selected. A few days before the scheduled marriage ceremony, the man's family usually sends a box (ham) containing gifts (yemul) for the bride. These normally are yards of red and blue fabric for a traditional dress and jewelry. In the past, a servant usually carried the box, but nowadays friends of the bridegroom generally perform the honor.

The box was usually delivered at night and upon approaching the house, the carrier, with much frolicking and joking, would shout, "Buy a ham! Ham for sale." The ham would not be given to the parents of the bride until wine and food and a sum of money had been given in return. Upon receiving the money, the carrier would then present the ham to the bride's mother. For his services the carrier would be treated to a feast at which time the bride's mother would open the ham and examine the contents.

The traditional wedding ceremony normally was held at in the courtyard of the bride's house. It began with the bride and groom exchanging bows and drinks. This was done facing each other with the wedding table between them. On the table were red and blue threads, burning candles, red beans, rice, jujubes, chestnuts, dried persimmons, rice cakes and a pair of ducks which symbolize lasting conjugal affection. During the bowing ritual, the bride was usually assisted by an elderly female servant or one or two women well versed in wedding procedures.

A traditional Korean wedding ceremony.

With the approach of night, the newly married couple would retire to their prepared room. It was considered great sport for relatives to peep into the room by making holes in the paper doors. The bridegroom would first take off the bride's headpiece, undo her coat string, and remove only one of her socks. He would then put out the candle, being careful not to blow it out as it was thought to do so would bring bad luck. He would extinguish it with a stick prepared for this purpose. Once they entered the room, they could not leave until sunrise, when the young husband would then visit with his in-laws.

The newly married couple, accompanied by the bride's father or uncle and a small procession carrying various articles and gifts would travel to the bridegroom's home. The bride usually rode in a palanquin, while the bridegroom led the procession (sinhaeng) on horseback. The sinhaeng was followed by another ceremony called pyebaek. This was the bride's first greeting to her parents-in-law and the other members of her husband's family. During this ceremony, the bride would bow to her husband's parents who were seated before a table of cooked chicken, jujubes, chestnuts, and fruits. Also at this time the bride would present the groom's parents with gifts of silk, and greetings were exchanged between them.

After staying a few days at the groom's house, the couple would again travel to the bride's home to report to her parents. At such a time there would be a large party to familiarize the groom with the bride's family, especially with the young men of the bride's clan group. This was characterized by much boisterousness and rough handling of the groom. Often times, the husband was encouraged to drink beyond his capacity; he was also playfully hit with dried fish or sticks.

Nowadays, weddings are usually held in public wedding halls and churches. With the accompaniment of piano music, the bridegroom, wearing a Western-style suit, enters the hall where guests are seated and stands before the presiding person. The bride, dressed in a Western wedding gown, then enters the hall and escorted by her father, takes her place by the groom. Facing each other before the officiator, the bride and groom exchange vows and gifts. The officiator usually gives a sermon about love, marriage and the new social responsibilities involved in married life. The bride and groom then bow to the guests; photo sessions usually follow the ceremony in addition to a large feast.

Although the marriage ceremony itself has changed, many of the traditional practices and ceremonies leading to the wedding are still observed, although modified for today's modern lifestyle.



Funeral Rites

Korean funeral rites reveal a great deal about how Koreans view death, and in particular, how they cope with the death of a close family member. Koreans held that if a person had succumbed to either illness or from natural causes outside the comforts of the home, the deceased spirit would roam aimlessly to eventually become a ghost or gaekgwi. To ensure that their dead would not become wandering ghosts, family members took many precautions; among them, being present during the last moments of a dying relative was particularly important. Korean families went to great lengths to transport the weak and the weary back to their own homes when they felt that death was near or imminent.

Traditionally, funeral rites also adhered to strict Confucian norms. For example, women were restricted from entering or witnessing the death throes of a male relative; likewise, men were not permitted to observe the last moments of a female, regardless of the relationship.

When death arrived, it was customary for the family members who had been present during the last moments of the departed one to wail (gok). The purpose of gok involved a combination of factors. While it obviously provided a means of expressing the sorrow and sadness of the mourners at losing a close relative, it also involved the expression of guilt by the mourners who might believe that it was because of their lack of pious actions toward the departed which had caused his or her ultimate demise.

Mourners donned simple garbs appropriate to the occasion. The men wore a sleeveless coat and the women, freed of all jewelry and accessories, refrained from combing their hair. The corpse would be laid with its hands and feet bound tightly together. One of the relatives would then take a coat of the deceased to the roof of the house and called out his or her name three times. Then, the coat was taken back into the house and used as a cover for the corpse. This ritual was called chohon or gobok.

Obituary notices used to be sent to all clan members, friends and acquaintances by servants or hired messengers, but this is prohibited now because of the social emphasis of simplifying family rituals. In the past, when the obituary notice was received, it was read out loud near the entrance gates of the house as it was thought bad luck to bring obituary notices into the house itself. The notice was then hung on the walls of outhouses.

The day following the death of the deceased, preparations are made for burial. The first of these preparations involved seup, or bathing and dressing the corpse. The bath water was perfumed and after drying the corpse the hair was combed and fallen hair carefully collected. Finger and toe nails were manicured. These clippings were also collected. The fallen hair and the clippings were then placed in five small pouches called, joballang. Later, joballang was placed in the coffin along with the corpse. With a wooden spoon made from a willow tree, three spoonfuls of rice were fed to the corpse. As the first spoonful was fed, a close person to the deceased called out, "Ilcheonseogiyo," meaning one thousand bags of rice. At the second and third spoonful, the man makes further calls and some coins were inserted in the cavity. It was thought that the journey by the deceased soul to the next world could be eased by the rice and money the family had bestowed upon the departed. Seup was followed by the process of yeom, in which the corps was wrapped in suui made from hemp or silk. After the corpse was dressed in the suui, it was wrapped with a quilted cloth called yeompo made of hemp cloth; the corpse was then bound with ropes seven times before being put into the coffin. The tightly sealed coffin was then placed carefully in a dry and secure place within the house. A makeshift shrine was then set up called binso where pictures and written documents about the deceased were placed. It was here that the mourners received guests. After these proceedings, the family of the deceased dressed themselves in the appropriate mourning attire, called sangbok, which varied in length according to the family member's relationship with the deceased.

The mourning period was based on a variety of factors, including the social standing of the family, the social position of the deceased, and so on. It frequently lasted about three days. In the 18th century, however, the duration of the mourning period was over a month for scholars. Others lasted for odd-numbered days (three, five, or seven days). During the mourning days, the sangju (the eldest male mourner) spent the entire time lying on a carpet with only an armrest made of rough straw. If the mourners were to wander outdoors, they had to wear a large-brimmed headpiece made of bamboo called banggat so as to obstruct the view of the heavens. Enduring these very uncomfortable living conditions was viewed as an expression of filial piety.

Traditional funeral procession (sang-yeo).

On the last day of the mourning period, the funeral procession was held. On this day, a bier was used for transporting the coffin to the grave. Before the coffin made its way to the grave, those who carried the bier out of the house had to stop before the gate and lower the coffin three times to signal the deceased's final departure from the household premises. Leading the procession were persons carrying funeral banners. The bier was decorated with dragons and Chinese phoenix paintings. Around the bier, colorfully decorated dolls were placed to guard the deceased.

The procession leader would sing a deep and mournful song; at the back of the bier, family members, relatives and friends would follow. At the grave site, a shaman who had been called upon for the occasion performed a special ritual to exorcise the evil spirits from grave. At a predetermined time, the coffin was then lowered and the eldest male mourner (usually an eldest son, or in the case of the death of a child, the father) would take a deep bow. Then, taking some earth, he would cast it upon the coffin. He did this twice. Other family members would then follow, in turn, this same ritual proceedings, referred to as chwito. After the chwito was complete, hired workers finished covering the grave with earth.

The earth was packed into a mound shape to prevent water seepage. Called dalgujil, this process of packing the earth by stamping on it was done with the accompaniment of music. It also had to be done in odd-number layers (usually three to five layers).

Often, a tombstone was erected at the grave. As soon as the mourners returned home from the funeral service, they placed a picture and an ancestral tablet on a wall at the front of their house. This was done for three consecutive days. Two days after the burial, family mourners visited the grave once again and placed food and drink in front of the grave and again made a deep bow. Only then did the family members return to their respective homes. Jolgokje, another memorial service, was performed one or two days after the second visit to the grave site. On this day, family members would put away all of the funeral paraphernalia and the mourning ritual would come to an end.

On the first anniversary of the funeral, family members held a memorial service called sosang. On this day, family mourners dressed in same cleaned sangbok which they had worn one year before. On the second anniversary a similar memorial service called daesang was performed. Several more services followed in subsequent months. Only after all these services had been observed could the family return to normal life.

Many of these practices have disappeared in recent years; others have been merely modified and simplified. Nowadays, the three-year mourning period is no longer observed or, at least, has been drastically shortened. Many different styles of funeral services are also performed, due to the religious conversion of many Koreans to Catholicism or Protestantism.

Male mourners today will also most likely wear dark suits and an armband made of hemp cloth while the women mourners now often wear small ribbons made of hemp cloth on their hair. Koreans have greatly changed and modified many of their traditional customs; nevertheless, these old ways are still very important to them and are observed through some symbolic gestures.



Memorial Services

The importance of ancestor worship in Korea is well exemplified by the expenditures Koreans traditionally have made to prepare the ritual feast. Going to great lengths during the harvest season to secure the pick of the crop for an upcoming ceremonial offering, Koreans also set aside a small fortune and a great deal of time to prepare the ritual foods.

Though much has been changed in recent years, some Korean families still keep and maintain their ancestral shrines which often include an upwards of four generations of ancestors.

Ancestral rituals include the "sangjung" ritual which takes place during the period of mourning and the "gije" ritual, a memorial service held on the anniversary of death. Memorial services that are commemorated on Chuseok or New Year's Day are called "charye" and finally "myoje" is conducted at the tomb site in the lunar month of October.

In a typical memorial service, called "jesa," a shrine was set up in a hall to make offerings to the deceased. Several ritual greetings then followed. The first entailed an offering of rice wine; a designated attendant would then recite a written prayer. At the conclusion of the first ritual offering, the eldest son would show his respects by performing a ritual bow twice.

The second offering of wine was then performed by the next eldest son. Following the second offering of wine, another offering was carried out by either one of the sons-in-law of the deceased or by the oldest person attending the ceremony.

Once the offerings of wine to the deceased spirits were concluded, a sequence of rituals that symbolized the spirits' arrival and acceptance of the food and wine was dramatized. These rituals were carried out to assist the spirits into accepting the offerings. For example, the lid of the rice bowl would be uncovered and a spoon settled upon the staple to assist the spirits. Similarly, a pair of chopsticks were placed on the barbecued meat, while all the participants stood in silent respect for the few minutes it would take the spirits to savor the food and the wine.

Broth was also offered to the spirits, a gesture which was again followed by a few minutes' pause to allow the spirits to eat it at leisure. When all the ritual offerings were made, all the attendants at the ceremony bowed twice and the spirits were joyously sent off until the next year. The table with the food and wine offerings was then cleared and the written prayer recited earlier on during the ceremony was set afire.

Once all of these steps were completed, the feasting of the food and wine (or eumbok) by the family members followed. Consuming the ritual food and wine was considered to be an integral part of the ceremony, as it symbolized the receiving of the ancestor's blessings bestowed upon the family.

Memorial services have been simplified to a great deal and are performed only on New Year's Day and during Chuseok. In today's modern world, it has become customary for many families to simply visit the ancestors' grave site on Chuseok. It is now common to hold ancestral rituals for only two generations of ancestors, and in some cases, people only hold rituals for their deceased parents. Also, in order to accommodate their busy schedule, more and more people are holding rituals in the evening instead of midnight.

Still in most Korean families today, ancestor worship remains an integral part of family life and is faithfully observed as such.

An individual encounters many different stages in the course of life. A child grows up to become an adult, gets married, raises a family, becomes old, and after death is mourned by his/her offspring. In Korea, the stages that an individual goes through in life and the accompanying changes in his/her social status have significant meaning. The confusion that is likely to follow such changes is taken in stride through a series of rites of passage that are collectively called Gwanhonsangje (coming-of-age, marriage, funeral, ancestor worship).

A traditional Korean wedding ceremony

In the Confucian society of traditional Korea, the coming-of-age rite signaled that the individual was officially a responsible member of society. Marriage reaffirmed the importance of the family as the basic unit of society. The funeral rites to mourn the passing of a family member and to overcome the resulting crisis in family life were austere and complex. The ancestral rite to pay homage to the family's forebears was aimed at strengthening unity and harmony among family members and relatives.

The Confucian coming-of-age rite, transforming a child into an adult, was simple. For the boy, it consisted of tying his long hair into a topknot, and bestowing a gat (traditional cylindrical Korean hat made of horsehair) on the boy's head. The ceremony was performed when he reached his twentieth birthday. For the girl, it involved rolling her braided hair into a chignon and fixing it with a long ornamental hairpin called a binyeo when she reached her fifteenth birthday.

Among commoners, the rite, as sponsored by the village dure (farming cooperative), tested the boy's physical strength by having him lift a designated rock. If the boy proved his strength, he was considered worthy of his mettle, and thus an adult.

Marriage in Korea was traditionally decided by the senior elders of the two families, and the ceremony was performed in accordance with prescribed formalities: once a matchmaker confirmed the agreement to marriage by both families, the bridegroom's family sent to the bride's family a letter indicating the groom's sajupalja ("four pillars," indicating the year, month, day, and hour of his birth, which are presumed to determine his fate and fortune). The bride's family decided on a wedding date and notified the other side, which was followed by the groom's family sending the ceremonial wedding dress and gifts to the bride.

Unlike in China or Japan, the wedding ceremony in Korea is traditionally performed at the bride's home. It begins with the groom presenting a pair of wooden geese to the bride's family. The groom then exchanges bows with the bride, and shares with her a drink of wine in a gourd dipper. After the ceremony, the newlyweds usually spend two or three days with the bride's family (but the stay was known to last as long as a year in some cases). Upon arriving at the groom's house, the bride offers deep bows and gifts to the groom's parents and relatives, which symbolize the beginning of her new life with her in-laws.

The traditional Korean wedding ceremony was a ceremony honoring one's ancestors and a public display that the continuity of the family line was assured. The family, which was created by the marriage, was considered the basis of social life, and it was a social obligation of the partners to the marriage to lead prolific and prosperous lives.

Meanwhile, the funeral rites to mourn the loss of a loved one were played out in complex formalities and procedures in traditional Korea. During the Joseon period when Confucianism took root as the guiding moral and ethical system, funerals became particularly elaborate as an undertaking not limited to the immediate family but extended to the entire clan. Much of this tradition is still practiced today.

The purpose of a funeral service is to enable the bereaved family to overcome the sense of loss and fear and to smooth the transition to daily life without the deceased. The passing of one's parents is always particularly sad. For Koreans, the funeral - including the monetary contributions to the deceased family and the assigned duties and roles - symbolizes the full extent and nuances of the family bonds.

Traditionally, mourning lasted for two years, following a strict protocol involving a series of prayer rites interspersed during this period. The intervals between the prayers, including the offering of food to the deceased and rites to conclude the burial, would be lengthened over time until the end of the two years, the principal mourners would doff their ceremonial garb and other tokens of bereavement and return to their normal daily lives.

The various steps and rites that make up a complete funeral and period of mourning are as follows:

1. Chojong (initial departing):

Preparations are made for the hour of death and immediately thereafter. The family discusses such matters as invocation of the spirit of the deceased, dressing the corpse, assignment of roles and preparation of the casket. As death nears, a piece of cotton is placed on the nose of the dying body, to determine the moment breathing ceases. When the breathing stops, gok, the ceremonial wailing begins. The deceased is undressed, and the clothes are taken to the roof of the house, where the outer garment is waved toward the north, and the name of the deceased is called out three times.

The garments are then collected in a basket and placed next to the spot where the tablets of the family's ancestors are kept. A folding screen curtain is drawn around the deceased. The corpse is placed on a board with the head pointing south. The mouth is left open, and the feet are straightened and fixed to a wooden board. Meanwhile, a table of food is prepared for the messenger from the other world.

2. Seup (cleansing the corpse):

The corpse is washed and dressed. The fingernails and toenails are clipped, and the hair neatly combed. The loose strands of hair and nail clippings are kept in a small pouch. The undergarments go on first, followed by the socks.

Rice is fed into the mouth three times, along with three pieces each of money and beads. After the eyes are covered, the ears stuffed, and a band tied around the waist, the hands are wrapped and a sheet is placed over the corpse.

3. Soryeom (wrapping the corpse):

The day after seup is performed, the outer clothing and a cover with which to wrap the corpse is laid out. The upper garment goes on first, followed by the lower one. The other pieces are added on to form a square, which is followed by the final cover.

4. Daeryeom (placing the corpse in the coffin):

Before placing the corpse in the coffin, ash is sprinkled on the bottom of the coffin. A thin board with seven holes standing for the seven stars that make up the Big Dipper is put in place, followed by a mattress. The corpse is set in place, with empty space being filled with old clothing of the deceased. The coffin is shut and fixed with nails, and then covered with the final wrapping.

5. Seongbok (dressing oneself):

There is a set of procedures the immediate family and close relatives must follow in wearing their mourning clothing. It includes the duration for which the clothing must be worn: three years, one year, nine months, five months, or three months depending on one's relation to the deceased. The practice calls for up to the third cousins of the deceased to dress for mourning. Once everyone is dressed, the principal mourner, typically the eldest son of the deceased, offers a prayer to indicate that all have gathered.

6. Josang (visitors paying homage):

Visitors come to express their condolences to the bereaved family. At this time, when the principal mourner wails, the visitor is expected to do the same before the altar of the spirit of the deceased. He then bows twice before dismissing himself. An exchange of bows with the principal mourner completes the act of paying homage.

7. Munsang (hearing of death):

Sometimes the principal mourner is away when a death in the family occurs. If it is the death of a parent, he must first wail, change his clothes and start out on the trip home. During the journey, and when home finally appears in his sight, he may wail again. Upon arriving home, he bows twice before the deceased. After changing into his mourning garb, he wails again.

8. Chijang (preparing the grave site):

Once the grave site is determined, the hollow must be dug and the tablet prepared.

9. Cheongu (removing the corpse):

The corpse, which is carried to the ancestral shrine, is symbolically reported to the ancestors, and then brought back to the house and placed at the center of the open space.

10. Barin (starting of funeral procession):

The corpse is removed from the house and placed on the funeral bier. Before the procession starts, a ceremony is performed. When the bier passes by the home of a friend of the deceased, the friend is expected to stop the procession and offer a noje (street rite).

11. Geummyo (arrival at the grave site):

This refers to the process from the arrival of the procession at the grave site to the burial of the corpse.

12. Bangok (wailing upon return):

Upon returning home from the grave site with the tablet, the mourners wail again.

13. Uje (rites to console the deceased):

To comfort the spirit of the deceased, which may be wandering around aimlessly after the burial of the body, sacrificial rites are performed three times.

14. Jolgok (end of wailing):

The day after the third Uje, about 100 days after the death, a ceremony is performed to mark the formal end of wailing.

15. Buje (placing the tablet):

The tablet of the deceased is placed along with those of his/her ancestors.

16. Sosang (small service):

This memorial rite is held thirteen months after the death, to mark the first anniversary.

17. Daesang (large service):

This memorial rite is held twenty-five months after the death, to mark the second anniversary.

18. Damje:

This memorial rite is held two months after Daesang.

19. Gilje (good rite):

This memorial rite is held in the month following Damje.

In addition to these elaborate funeral rites, Koreans have handed down a rich tradition of ancestral memorial rites through numerous rituals that honor the spirits of their ancestors and seek their blessings for the living descendants. The rites provide a connection between the dead and the living. Unlike the people of the West, Koreans of old believed that the world after death is not entirely separate from the present world but exists on the same continuum. To worship one's ancestors, and to give them continuity in life through offspring was considered the primary responsibility of filial children. To this day, devout Confucianists offer services for their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and great-great-grandparents on the anniversaries of their deaths. In addition, the ancestors are offered a darye (tea rite) on the morning of folk holidays such as the Lunar New Year's Day. They are also offered a sije (time rite) at their grave sites. It is sometimes said that these rites breed clannishness and exclusivity; however, they also nurture intergenerational bonding and pride.