I couldn't help but to notice the aptness of what was preached last Sunday during sermon; the whole issue of Uncertainty. At first I was chortling to myself (I laugh to myself everytime I hear the word 'uncertainty' for reasons obvious to only me and perhaps Chris), but then I soon felt that this would be the very word that would sum up the nature of the impending week.
Uncertain. Everything has been so uncertain this week. As I mentioned, I've been sitting at home twiddling my thumbs, revolving my life around rehearsals, to the extent that I can't really organise outings or make arrangements for my new tuition assignment just yet. To top it off, I'm waiting for two answers that will determine how my holidays will be spent.
The first was answered; positively. I signed up for the position of coordinator with
Startutor on a whim, thinking that the job scope was relatively flexible and offered a reasonable wage. On Sunday, I headed down to SMU for the interview, and was momentarily daunted by the number of applicants (the stack of resumes were THICK, and I had a very late interview slot) and the surprisingly stringent nature of the interview. Honestly, when the HR person told me "We'll get back to you", I left feeling very disheartened and thinking that I wouldn't get the job. I mean, what were my chances, seeing the number of applicants? (Ah, the defeatist in me speaks). Needless to say, I was surprised when I received a call from them this morning saying that I got the job. It's quite good, can work from home and such.
However, I wasn't as happy. Today, Wednesday (or rather, yesterday, seeing how it's 2am right now), was supposed to be the day I get my posting for the internship. Truth be told, while the Startutor job offers better pay (I mean, internship what, duh what pay!), I would have been so happy if they got back to me. That was the one thing that was so important to me, and first I waited so long for the interview, then I'm now waiting for the pending outcome of my application to work there.
Then, while I am waiting, the defeatist in me kicks in with aplomb and starts to mess around my head with neurotic nuances like "Maybe I wasn't sleek enough", or "Stupid me, I should have just told them that I wouldn't mind a position with the interactive media department", but I couldn't lie. When the HR manager interviewed me, and I told her that my expertise was not interactive media, I was just shooting myself in the foot. This is especially so, when I've been predicting market trends in media consumption and telling my mother that "Digital" is on the rise. And here I was, telling her that I'm not majoring in that aspect? That just cut my chances by half. I was so so dumb. Even more so when that particular company is very accomplished in digital media advancements. They had an opening for me in the Research department, which I was even excited about, despite the fact that I hated NM2102. I mean, I seriously don't think one needs to apply anything else other than linear regression in media research. It's all about predicting causes and effects. Ok, not the most politically correct answer, but that's what a certain friend who used to work in media research told me.
I am passionate about this industry. It's not about the press events, or the freebies that I can get. It really turns me off whenever I go for focus groups, and people get all starry eyed when they talk about working in the industry because of the chi-chi events and free things they can get. That's secondary. I just adore the nature of the job; I could totally run on the adrenaline of churning out unreasonable deadlines (which is really a talent I have come to hone at NUS, hurr), how it practicalises creativity, and most of all, how it is such a pervasive medium and henceforth relevant to the society. Media planning, negotiation, investment, implementation; I want to be a part of all of these so badly. If there is any industry that I am confirm plus chop so keen on, it's this one.
Can't hide my feelings on this one; if I don't get this gig, I'd feel very, very disheartened.