i know at all times that in four hours i will feel completely different

when you kill yourself
the universe learns how to console you
nothing i type is true; for example
i am going to go outside
and meet interesting people
actually i will never meet an interesting person
if you ask me what happens to me i will tell you
that after coffee my brain is harder and shinier
my face is less worried and my eyes move faster
if you ask me what happens to sad people i will tell you
that pieces of water move from the inside of their heads to the outside
and then i think the water evaporates
when my brain thinks it makes squishy noises
not all brains are like this
i like to point my worried face at different areas
of the physical world, and this is a mischievous thing
my face is at the front of my head
do you believe i am a good person?
i am going to go away for two hours
when i return i will accurately predict the actions of everyone i know
for the next three weeks, because that's how i am: industrious,
severely disillusioned
pass me the organic sesame seed salt substitute
industrious people who are severely disillusioned enjoy squishy noises
more than the average person
i laugh at the average person
i don't know why i do that
i will never squish a human brain with my hands
with both my hands, looking down at the brain inside the skull
i don't care if that isn't true
i have bought and sold over three hundred things on ebay
ebay is incredible
three word sentences console me
and this is a dangerous thing
the most dangerous weapon in the universe is the sphere-shaped knife
let me explain about the sphere-shaped knife
the insanity of the sphere-shaped knife
i am going to sleep now
i am going to turn off the light

room night

i held the cruelty-free soap to my arm
and moved my arm
in various directions; a kind of meat-eating liberal
was making me move my body
that was the day i argued against publicly-owned companies
on my blog; the shower felt nice 
so i did not leave the shower
something beautiful was moving me
away from my philosophy; in my room at night 
i blogged about the preconceptive nature of right and wrong
a kind of self-righteous argument
something about the cruelty of abstractions
capitalism felt harmless and fun
really, it was just a kind of game
that made people into various corporations
a kind of harmless movement of bodies
laying on my bed
a kind of emptiness
moved through my politics
it was cruel
to leave the homeless man
'there's no such thing,' i mumbled
'as good or bad'; something about being
in the center of my philosophy; i walked through someone's vision
and it was a vegan walking through someone's vision
something about the way i felt
kind of abstract; the impermanent nature of things
was making a terribly beautiful emotion
in the center of my being
i was going to feel it as a kind of emptiness; really,
the political gesture was neither good nor bad; 'see,
when you break a heart nothing really breaks,' he screamed
to music, 'it's just a figure of speech'
a kind of indefensible waste of water
that was the day i unofficially changed
the name of my job to 'fuck craigslist'; politics moved through my brain in various directions
and made me choose the cruelty-free soap
the cruelty in the center of my philosophy
made me move in various directions; alone at night
a kind of abstract longing; the uncompromised expression of emotion through words
and music made me happy
because it was not really changed
by abstractions or publicly-owned companies; something about the kind of vegans
who feel terribly empty and alone
at night, with peanut butter
the cruelty-imbued pork chop
a kind of terribly expressive pig
i tightly held my sesame bagel
'the peanut butter
is not a metaphor,' i mumbled
a kind of organism
something about how the emotion was felt alone
'my life is empty without blogging,' i emailed someone,
'terribly empty'; the existence of organic lip balm
was kind of indefensible; i got a job
the day a terrible emptiness moved permanently into my blog
i stole the organic lip balm
by putting my cell phone and the organic lip balm in my pocket
a kind of emptiness existed in the center of my bagel; really,
it was just the hole that's in the middle
of all bagels; 'i need to go
read my blog
to find out what my politics are'
i held the sesame bagel to my face
and let my mouth eat it
a kind of playful girl
at night depressed; the homeless man's politics
were telling the homeless man not to exist; independent punk
music with plastic CD cases are moving
to me; corporate punk music
with paper CD cases; the indefensible nature
of existing alone
a terrible longing
not to exist; the abstract nature of sadness, various games,
the existence of movement, and a kind of harmless fun
'this organic peanut butter tastes like carrots changing into brains'
really, that was the kind of terrible night
it was; a kind of eighty-cent sesame bagel
my cell phone shook
with a kind of existential terror
really, someone was just text messaging me; i decided
to take a very long shower
'someone find out exactly who loses money
if i steal from whole foods,' i blogged
a kind of indefensible cruelty towards animals
a vision of being kind of alone; she tightly held me and i longed to be permanent
the corporation existed in the center of various abstractions
that was the day a terrible self-righteousness moved through the emptiness
in the center of my being; really, it was just what happens
when you kind of try to do things; kind of happens
a vision of brains
a sort of harmless world
something about the various emotion in the center of my being
really compromised