TAO LIN

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traumatic horror of


an ipod has many functions besides music; my head looks wrong from this side;
my head looks wrong with short hair; here in iraq, his second day
at war; my daughter’s head, my son’s ipod, the united states convoy,
here in iraq, made in china, my daughter’s head
trauma; his eighth day at war, here from california,
look at his head, the traumatic-unveiling-of-the-horror
-of-war of it, her two thousandth day at war, here on earth, aase berg’s poetry: swedish,
the side of tao lin’s head, made in america, it looks chinese; i am having a lot of trouble
with this, it looks wrong, i feel like an asshole, taking the perspective of someone else,
i usually write from my own perspective; the many functions of an anthology,
starring aase berg, tao lin, and others about his second day in iraq, the convoy
running over the girl, the traumatic unveiling of the horror of war,
the solicitation process, my eight thousand forty-third day alive in america,
made in america, the war against independent presses for a bright orange cover
without the title on the cover, it looks wrong with the title on the cover,
the mother’s son at home mastering his ipod, designed in california,
made in china; ‘the meaningless underside of bridges;’ paloozaville,

starring john lithgow; ‘this event was the first traumatic unveiling of the horror of war
for me, and probably for several of my soldiers;’ the many functions of an ipod
besides music, photos, text, respect, money, activity, and consolation; the group of vehicles
traveling together for mutual support, the horror of war, the traumatic experience
of very short hair, i feel like an asshole, i miss you, i usually only write about loneliness,
depression, and the horror of existence; ‘all that matters is feeding
the lake, i don’t matter;’ ‘i am having a lot of trouble with this, it looks wrong,
i feel like an asshole,’ alone in this room, i’m hungry, i miss you, the dead girl, aase berg, jean rhys’
twenty-eight-thousand thirty-fourth day alive, the author of thirty to forty short stories,

‘life is shit,’ and five novels, the unveiling of something that looks wrong, possibly by soft skull
press, based in brooklyn, the literary agent doesn’t know yet, i feel like an asshole, kafka’s nose
looks wrong from the side, made in prague, loneliness, depression, and tuberculosis; ‘at the scene
of the accident, when i arrived to begin negotiating reparations with the family of the dead girl,
almost a hundred people had gathered; it formed an interesting nexus between cultures:
british soldiers on patrol passing through, two czech wrecker operators come out
to retrieve the damaged truck (false alert: a six year-old
doesn’t do too much damage to an eighteen wheeler),
women who had begun wailing in ritual and real mourning,
the girl’s father ready to discuss the money his daughter’s life was worth, dogs, goats,
other children, and our green, young U.S. troops,
all centered around the blanketed body of the girl;’ ipod mini, swedish poetry, hamsters,
iowa writer’s workshop, and our hot, young male novelists, ‘if the author doesn’t want
to “support” the book he only hurts himself;’ an interesting hierarchy of interpretation:
kafka was writing about being jewish
kafka was writing about his father
kafka was prescient of fascism
kafka was writing about loneliness, depression, and the horror of existence
jean rhys was prescient of fascism in ‘good morning, midnight,’ ‘i’d like to invite you
to submit work for an anthology i am putting together;’ drummers with a mastery of
four against three console me; syncopated polyrhythms are calm and alone;
i once mastered five against four on my thighs, it was a traumatic moment
of aloneness, meaninglessness, inhumanity, and consolation, i feel like an asshole,
i could choose which to hear, or to hear both, i was lonely, bored, and afraid of the horror
of not being able to do what you want, or live forever, ‘i’m assigning 33 writers
to develop their own stories, each somehow using the perspective of one of the people

involved in this incident;’ ‘i think this one is particularly challenging,
because an arabic mother can be such a caricature
with the standard issues of misogyny

commonly perceived in arab cultures;’ poetry; soccer; paloozaville; a subsidiary
of halliburton; the mastery of meaninglessness against politics; the lake;
the workers, the solid bright orange cover that i wanted, and the means of production;
i haven’t read any marx, just listened to people who have probably read a little marx
from textbooks talk about marx, and i saw his face on the internet a few times, california,
iraq, and china, i’ll be right back; ‘students exude energy and enthusiasm whether walking,
jogging, studying, playing sports, or simply hanging out;’ anorexia, short hair, creative writing,
and polyrhythms: from another person’s perspective it is particularly challenging

to hear it as one thing from the same source, not two separate things, i feel nervous,
i miss you, and where are you; the meaningless underside of faces, mouse pads, kafka, lithgow,
and mini ipod; false alert: i always feel like an asshole; FUCK@ KJROI#J RO#IJR#IRJ;
‘listen to that polyrhythm, it sounds un-american,’ i feel like a lake; put it in the hierarchy,
the meaninglessness of everything, the standard issue meaninglessness of everything, filmed
in california, that movie with sean penn and nicole kidman, made in australia, i can’t breathe
or something, i feel like an asshole, dogs, goats,
cows, chickens, pigs, in america the war anthology
always wins a kind of melodramatic reverence
exclusive to books written and presented with a tone of melodramatic self-reverence
that ultimately just further distort reality and perpetuate a way of thinking about
and viewing the world that is based on preconceptions, why did i type that,
i’m being an asshole; ‘my second day at war
here in iraq i was sent to the scene of a traffic accident
where a truck in a US convoy ran over and killed a six year-old iraqi girl;’ false alert: beef,

chicken, pork; ‘if the project turns out okay,
i would like to give a copy to the family of the girl;’ the world cup, the hierarchy of deaths,
the automatic profundity of mentioning kafka, war, or fascism, the socio-political implications,
filmability, and metaphorical potential of particular deaths, i feel like a computer
that’s also an asshole, ‘does it have women and children, is it relevant
to the upcoming election, and was it on CNN?’ the profound horror of existence
for cows, chickens, turkeys, hamsters, and pigs, your interpretation feels wrong,
is a six year-old iraqi girl more emotionally resonant than fifty billion chickens?
before i feel this emotion, let me know the nationality, number of days alive, species, gender,
and potential media interest level of the subject; is that a california roll? what about when
i mastered five against four on my thighs? put it in the hierarchy, made in china,
and false alert: all of writing is a lake, all that matters is the lake, you don’t matter,
and you must feed the lake, and FUCK@ KJROI#J RO#IJR#IRJ; the convoy of machinery
against the young human being, it ran over and killed it, look at all the many functions of art
besides money, respect, activity, and consolation; ‘KJROI#J RO#IJR#IRJ;’ culture: intelligent
celebrities against george w. bush, made in america, petitioned in brooklyn, alone in this room,
the computer screen is glowing, i miss you, i want to look at your face and put my mouth on
your mouth; i feel like feeding myself; do you feel like feeding yourself? i feel like feeding
myself; the standard issue meaninglessness of everything; if it turns out okay
i would like to

 

MiPOesias Magazine - miPOradio Poetry - miPOradio Poetry

© TAO LIN 2007

 

 

 

Tao Lin is the author of a poetry-collection, YOU ARE A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER THAN I AM (Action Books, 2006), a story-collection, BED (Melville House, 2007), a novel, EEEEE EEE EEEE (Melville House, 2007), and two chapbooks which can be read at BEAR PARADE. His site is READER OF DEPRESSING BOOKS.

   

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