squid fucking potato on inflatable raft in matamor as tao and ellen watching happy some of my happiest moments in life occur on AOL instant messenger i will create a new category on my instant messenger buddy list i will call it 'people i like who don't like me back' and i will move your screen name into that group and i will invite you to my house and show you and you will say, 'if i didn't like you why did i come over' and you will look at my face and i will have an honest answer for your question i will tell you that you came over to be polite and after a while you will go home and you won't call and i won't either and after a while i won't like you anymore and after a while we'll forget each other and after a while you will be beautiful and alone inside of your coffin and i'll be cold and alone inside of my coffin ellen tao ellen room bioluminescent giant squid missed because asleep the MFA in hamsters at the table is a moose, a bear, a cow, a hamster all have neutral facial expressions the bear reads its short story the room is small and when the moose moves it makes a hole in the wall and goes through the hole to wyoming, where it lives the cow sits and falls because cows can't sit the bear sits on the cow the cow squirms a little the bear pets the cow's face and the cow stops squirming the cow is afraid the bear scratches the cow's face a little a human comes in 'is this the MFA in hamsters?' the human says the human is nervous and begins to read his short story the bear claws the back of the human's head and the human dies blood gets on the hamster the hamster shakes its body this has been the MFA in hamsters if you like what you have read please fill out a FAFSA form to determine if you are eligible for financial aid the MFA in hamsters is a two-year residency program which culminates in the submission of a creative thesis with the spirit of an arts colony and the benefits of the research university of which we are a part the MFA in hamsters continues to foster and to celebrate american literature in all its varied forms we look forward to working with you, especially if you are a talented young hamster with mainstream cultural and political awareness, an interesting background, and a sort of half-assededly nihilistic worldview that can, ultimately, be interpreted by michiko kakutani, benjamin kunkel, and whoever the current fiction editor of the new yorker is as 'life-affirming,' 'refreshingly optimistic,' and 'free of the crippling irony that plaques much of our younger writers' obese squirrel hot amoeba ass at kinko's i blew-up the slide of the amoeba's ass 10,000,000 times; i took the amoeba ass photos out in the taxi cab and quietly said, 'oh my god'; at kinko's i said, 'are you sure you can't make it any bigger?' i sweated and fell down screaming, 'it can't go any bigger, it can't go any bigger!' i called my mother and hanged up sweating; i removed the bed, table, desk, and chair from my room; i pasted amoeba ass photos on the floor, ceiling, and walls; i fell down masturbating; i stared at the $100,000 electron-scanning microscope on the computer screen; driving home from the biochemical store i fell out of the car screaming, 'amoeba ass is so hot!' in my room i broke the microscope and rubbed the slide sample on my face i very quietly went to the corner of my room and sat down shaking i hugged myself and stared with a worried expression and quietly thought, 'there are five billion amoeba asses on my face' ellen wearing hog mask with interplanetary blue whale mask peruvian jungle pig |