Gawker

We're not the only ones who thought this week was a little slow for news: "Good Morning America" had a feature about an adorable mutt who is literally "up a tree!" Bonus Sam Champion doggie impression included.

The date: August 7th
The time: 3:50 p.m.
The place: Eighth Avenue at 26th street
Sighted: "Just saw weather-queen SAM CHAMPION on Eighth Avenue, looking very "refreshed"—so much so that I wasn't sure it was him until I was up close. He was looking at the windows of The Blue porn store as he walked by."

This morning, "Good Morning America" weather hottie Sam Champion provided an incredibly servicey piece on how to escape from a locked car in the event of a bridge collapse, which, remember, is looking ever more likely. It's a rollicking, macho adventure as a safety goggle-wearing Sam shatters the window. The best part is the many, many times Sam tells you to "grab hold of the LifeHammer." It's almost like he's said that in a car before!

If you have a sexual fantasy involving Good Morning America's weather-boy Sam Champion being fanned and fed grapes by African-American children while reclining on some bizarre blue foam piece of furniture, today is like Christmas, Valentine's Day, and your birthday rolled up into one bizarre little package.

This morning local ABC meteorologist Bill Evans popped up on "Good Morning America" to pimp his new novel, Category 7. Interviewed by Gawker Hero Sam Champion, Bill revealed that one of the main characters was, in fact, based on the lovable weatherman. We could care less about the weather or hurricanes or whatever—but there's Sam Champion slash fic in hardcover? We are running to the bookstore NOW.

CHILDISH staffers at the "Today" show have been reduced to homophobic name-calling about their rivals at "Good Morning America" - Diane Sawyer, Chris Cuomo, Robin Roberts and Sam Champion. A network source says, " 'Today' staffers, from top to bottom, executives to interns, refer to 'GMA' as 'Gay-MA' " and snicker about the hosts. "GMA" has been gaining in the ratings on No. 1 "Today" and cut its lead in half. For their part, the "GMA" folks are said to refer to "Today" as "Yesterday." Reps for both shows declined to comment.