Well, look at that. The Pulitzers have been announced, and they certainly have spread the wealth: the Wall Street Journal wins two, but no other paper gets more than one, including the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times, which each win one. The Washington Post gets completely goose-egged, though the paper had finalists in several categories. (Complete list here.) Interestingly, the Daily News editorial board wins for editorial writing "for its compassionate and compelling editorials on behalf of Ground Zero workers whose health problems were neglected by the city and the nation." That's great for the DN and all, but it's a slap in the face to the newsroom, which, you'll recall, got slammed by the New York Times in February for not doing its due diligence on the story of a supposed "first responder" to the scene who later fell ill, which then led to some newsroom mudslinging as the news side felt abandoned by editorial. Look who's come out on top now!

The Pulitzer Prizes: 2007 Winners [Pulitzer.org]
Earlier: 'Post' Flacks Kick 'Daily News' When It's Down

Let us begin with the cover of Portfolio. It's a gilded city image, a metropolis of lit-up office windows in earth tones, oddly, as it is supposed to be an homage to Berenice Abbott. (A funny reference, as she was told that New York City was too toxic for her to live in and so she left.) Publisher David Carey and Editor in Chief Joanne Lipman are shown in the Times this morning comparing their cover favorably to a recent Fortune cover, with Carey saying, "We're not giving you peas and carrots. We want to capture that glamour." By that measure things are certainly already a success; the magazine certainly weighs as much as Glamour.

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As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below.

To be honest, we were really rooting for Francine Whitney and Fernando Banhara. The widow of the Whitney heir and her sailing instructor. How deliciously scandalous! How very F. Scott Fitzgerald-y! But, alas, aside from the juicy-factor, they weren't able to rack up the extra points needed to topple Victoria Potterton and Austin Zalkin, both Dartmouth grads with impressive resumes. There were also some other close contenders, who we decided to include, well, just cuz.

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So! Today at 3 p.m. the Pulitzer Prizes are being announced in an always-anticlimactic ceremony at Columbia. But we're hearing that the New York Times has won only one award this year, for Andrea Elliott's series "An Imam In America." Undoubtedly there are some grim faces on West 43rd Street this afternoon. No awards for Iraq or Darfur reporting, or that Pulitzer-bait series on ineffective hick judges in upstate New York? Complete list of winners TK shortly, of course.

Neal Boulton, editor of Men's Fitness and the man Page Six describes as Jann Wenner's sex-squire, has been laid up at St. Vincent's since Thursday night. Last week he went in with what he thought was a stomach ailment but has turned out to be something much more potentially serious; a prognosis is forthcoming, but Boulton is telling friends and associates that he could be in for up to 4 weeks. (That's what that Weider Publications insurance gets you!) Of course, this raises some important questions. First, we wonder when Page Six spoke to Boulton to confirm his new and tiny love, since he's been laid up for at least the past few days. And second, who will bring Boulton flowers? Jann? Boulton's wife? Matt Nye? —Doree

Have you heard? "Intellidating!" This hot trend of couples going out to museums and lectures and such is giving the finger to the Times Styles-bots from the front page of the Washington Post today, so it's probably more important than, you know, whatever Moktada al-Sadr is up to. Unless he's intellidating too! So where should you take your date if you're one of the "YoCos" ("young cosmopolitans") the WaPo is talking about? Suggestions include the NYPL debate series—"Let's face it, there really is nothing more sensual than caressing someone's mind," said their wacky programming coordinator Paul Holdengräber—and the Intelligence Squared events at the Asia Society, where "the cheaper seats are peppered with budding young brainiacs who find heightened stimulation in verbal joust." Also, did you know that there are party type things at Housing Works Used Book Café, with drinking? Next they will be telling us that there are spelling bees for Jewish singles at Makor! Oh, wait, they did. "'One guy had to spell 'chlamydia' and then 'erectile dysfunction' -- and he got both right,' [a Jew] said." It turns out that intellidating is very dumb. —Emily

In the New Dating Scene, the Attraction Is a Beautiful Mind [WaPo]

A week after the New York Times spun a hefty cautionary tale on the dangers of buying a unit before it's built, they've gone and sent Suzanne Slesin to the as-yet-unbuilt William Beaver House, André Balazs's vaguely vaginal condominium on William and Beaver streets downtown. When Slesin gets "out of a cab at the triangular site," she's immediately invited to eat the fragrant lotus of the marketing mock-up and forget forever about returning home. And it seems, when it comes to unbuilt units, experience has no sway over love. Slezin immediately falls hard for the negging of architect Calvin Tsao's mixture of soft sell and hard-to-get pitch.

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Adam Sternbergh has a little naming fun in this week's New York magazine, clarifying once and for all that Jonathan Rhys Myers is not Welsh and is not, in all likelihood, related to either John Rhys-Davis (aka Lord of the Rings' Gimli, and also Sallah in Raiders of the Lost Ark) or Jean Rhys, the author of the novel Wide Sargasso Sea, a retelling of Jane Eyre. And he's also not related to Jonathan Taylor Thomas, born Jonathan Taylor Weiss. Why JTT is randomly stuck in there, we can't really say. But come on, Sternbergh. If you're going to bring up Home Improvement's Randy Taylor, the least you could do is mention to his fans that he's currently roaming the halls of Columbia University. You can even email him yourself!—Doree

Postcolonial Author or Supercute Teen Heartthrob? [NYM]
Urgent Bulletin for All Tiger Beat Subscribers, Past and Present [IvyGate]

The New York Times trots out its trusty rewrite man Robert D. McFadden every time weather happens around these parts, and the current storm is no exception. Observe:

Coming on a weekend, the storm had a relatively light impact on most residents. Many shops and restaurants that normally would have been open yesterday were shuttered, but without jobs or schools to attend, many people spent the day indoors with the Sunday papers, relaxing with music to go with the silken lash of rain hissing at the windows, dripping on a lazy afternoon.

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"Live With A Douche" is a Gawker PSA service rounding up the most deleteriously douchy apartment postings we can find. Surely we respect the universal right to demand a roommate who conforms to one's higgidypiggidy expectations—but some warrant special attention. Have you found a particularly ridiculous listing? Let us know at tips@gawker.com

A two bedroom duplex in a beautiful area of Brooklyn, a guy who's in a committed relationship, no rent? What could go wrong?

I have a 2 bedroom duplex in a beautiful area in Brooklyn and would to share it with a women that understands a situation I am in.

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"The Ethicist" is Randy Cohen's long-running advice column in the New York Times. Each week, Gabriel Delahaye's "The Unethicist" will answer the same questions as "The Ethicist," with obvious differences.

This week, a capital-J Jew writes in with a medical concern, and a date rapist is amazed at the lengths some women will go to make them feel bad for what they've done.

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From inside the 4 Times Square mothership: "ONLY TWO COPIES OF PORTFOLIO LEFT AT CONDE NEWSSTAND." Apparently the supply is so low, they're hoarding copies of Portfolio, America's most highly self-regarded business magazine, behind the register. This does not surprise—where else would a magazine devoted to studies of the signs and signifiers of wealth perform so well?

A former staffer made some allegations about J. Lo's husband, Marc Anthony. Apparently he "is the guy who wants to stay home and play video games all night. He looks like the kind of person that needs to be fed. Food is not a priority. When he eats, he eats pizza and Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald's." In response, his rep Blanca LaSalle told New York mag that "Even if that's true, what's wrong with that?" With this simple act, Blanca has trumped Leslie Sloan "It's all bullshit" Zelnick in the "best publicist statement" sweepstakes. Congratulations, Blanca, and condolences, Leslie. We recommend adopting Blanca's line in the future. Actually, it would be great if this was the only thing publicists ever said. —Emily

Video Games And Junk Food [NYM]

Pat Buckley, New York City's greatest and most forceful Canadian-born Merit smoker, died yesterday. She was 80.

The daughter of a self-made Vancouver millionaire, she came to Park Avenue largely under her own steam. While attending Vassar, she met a Yale Skull & Bones man named William Buckley, Jr., who was the son of a lawyer, real estate speculator and fantastic exploiter of oil fields in Venezuela and around the world. They married in 1950.

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"My 22-year-old son, a humor writer who finds Imus an anachronistic and unfunny throwback to the racial-insult humor of the Frank Sinatra-Sammy Davis Jr. Rat Pack ilk, raises a complementary issue. He argues that when Sacha Baron Cohen makes fun of Jews and gays, he can do so because he's not doing it as himself but as a fictional character." That is such a good point in the Times op-ed pages! Gee, I would be interested to hear more of this precocious youngster's deep thoughts. But where to find them? I'll just look at Amazon under humor and... ah ha! Check that out! Simon Rich's book came out April 3rd. Proceeding to checkout! — Emily

Everybody Hates Don Imus [NYT]