john tierney

There are over 1000 columnists spewing brilliance and lunacy in unfortunately unequal doses, but a survey of 154 of them turns up batshit results: when describing what it's like to write a column, "26% of salaried columnists called it a job and 17% likened it to sex." But what kind of sex? As painful as it is for us to imagine fornicating journalists (shudder), we've got our guesses: When writing, Maureen Dowd goes cowgirl, but John Tierney prefers missionary (so that's why it didnt work). Stanley Crouch would never admit it, but he can't meet deadline without bottoming; Andrea Peyser just reads like a bondage freak. And of course, Ann Coulter's just hate-fucking all sorts of fuzzy baby animals.

Survey Shows Some Columnists Get "Hot" While Writing [E&P;]

It's hard being a single woman of a certain age. A certain redhead we know would seem to have it all: A great job, plenty of influence, lots of money. But she doesn't have anyone to share it with, and, as she has maybe mentioned to a few people lately, she's a little sad about that. So it sort of went without saying that when an ex of hers recently publicized a new photo of himself, one that took off years and accentuates his ladykilling blue eyes, she'd soon have to point out that she, too, is still looking good. Even without him.

And so, ladies and gentleman, we present today's brand-new Times headshot for Maureen Dowd. The old one, with its dark background and pursed lips, said, "I'm mysterious and witty." And the new one, with a white background and tousled hair? Just one thing: "Marry me!"

Torturing the Facts [NYT]
Earlier: Tierney Gets a New Glamour Shot

From left, Tierney old and new.
Hello, gorgeous: Times columnist John Tierney has changed his photo! The old Tierney headshot was befitting of a quirky crazyman's high-school yearbook, but the new photo? Pure ladykiller. The message is clear and direct: This man is VERY necessary.

For Once, John Tierney Demonstrates Good Judgment [Panopticist]

• Martha Stewart's next mag, Blueprint, will cater to 20-somethings buying their first homes. God, might we actually have to read it? [AdAge]
• Talking Points Memo'er Josh Marshall hires two bloggers to report for him. Bloggers who have to report?! Huh? Wha? [NY Sun]
• Craig of Craiglist to launch journalism project. Which is good, because he's slowly killing newspapers by taking their classifieds, anyway. [Guardian]
• Total mag ad pages up ever so slightly in 2005. Woo-hoo! Not dead yet! [MIN]
• Disaggregated media content confuses Simon Dumenco, who generously offers to disaggregate his column. [AdAge]
• Greg Mitchell says John Tierney is full of shit. [E&P;]
• NBC Universal to close Trio, leaving one fewer cable network you don't watch. [Hollywood Reporter via MSNCB]

A 12-step program for coming to terms with TimesSelect.

1. Awake from uneasy dreams on day two of TimesSelect; assume world's greatest, richest, most awesomest, we-can-charge-for-whatever-we-want newspaper has fixed all kinks in its big-deal new premium content system.

2. Go to NYTimes.com and click on "Tierney: FEMA to WEMA" in an attempt to learn about John Tierney's presumed neologism, WEMA. Prepare to laugh ruefully, libertarianly.

3. Get warning screen, "To continue reading this article, you must be a subscriber to TimesSelect." Assume anticipatory pre-registration, filled out last week, simply did not go through.

4. Follow options for home subscriber to get free TimesSelect access. Enter email address and password.

5. Wait for a disconcertingly long time while system pulls up record.

6. Be told, "You already have TimesSelect. You have been identified as a Home Delivery subscriber who is currently enrolled in TimesSelect. You cannot enroll again."

7. Realize goody-two-shoes pre-registration did go through. Follow link to homepage, ready to read about WEMA.

8. Repeat steps 2 through 6.

9. Sigh.

10. Get up, walk to front door, pick up print paper from hallway.

11. Flip to A29.

12. Curse Martin Nisenholtz.

Earlier:
TimesSelect: Okay They Actually Do Want It to Fail
TimesSelect: It's Like They Want It to Fail

• WSJ's Weekend Edition launches Saturday, with nearly 100 advertisers. [NYP]
• Will Bush's popularity meltdown hurt Fox News? Nope, Fox News will just be less Republican, bets The Tina. [WP]
• Arianna loves blogs, and Adam Penenberg loves Arianna, and it's all just so lovable. [Wired News]
• John Tierney says he's not a contrarian, which is contrary to what we expected he'd say. [Reason]
• The hangover continues from the worst merger ever, and Time Warner is now in talks to sell AOL to Microsoft. [NYP]
• Google gives Technorati a big fuck you, launching its own blog search engine. [PC Mag]
• Christopher Hitchens debates British MP George Galloway in Manhattan, and we can't figure what's going on -- except that Hitch was boozing at Denton's pad, and trading limericks, till the wee hours. [Times]