eBay

We all know that perpetually embattled songstress-natureforce Courtney Love has shed a few pounds recently by some means or other. ("No doctor would do gastric bypass, even if I begged. No lipo, no gastric, no tummy tuck. I can't believe how cynical people are," she told Us Weekly. Us neither!) Now, she's shedding her old large stuff, like this pair of size 8 Marc Jacobs pink and black pinstripe pants, via eBay. Sure, $99 seems like a lot to pay for a pair of slacks that have contained Courtney Love, but all proceeds go to the Chrysalis Organization, an organization that helps homeless people and ex-cons find jobs. It turns out that Courtney Love is a big humanitarian! Well, not as big as she used to be. —Emily

Okay. This is how it all went down. See, Vice's party, at SXSW the other night? Tooootally out of control! They'd switched the party location to an Elks Lodge in Austin, far from all the action but presumably more hipster-white trash-cool? Or something. Anyway, right after Against Me!'s set, the balcony began to collapse. Right away, some enterprising soul from Brooklyn (obvs) has put pieces of the rubble up on eBay. more »

Seriously, who wants to bid on Britney Spears' nasty hair? Bid on a quite probably imaginary bag of "downtown" artist/heir Dash Snow's coke instead! If that isn't enough enticement, let's look at the pitch:

Hi my name is brianelectro. My boys and I broke into dash snow's apartment and stole all his coke. Don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to own dash snow's coke. And it's a lot of fucking coke!! think of the fun, think of the glamour!! With dash snow's coke you can be a pretentious rich faggot poseur who masquerades as a poor, wild hipster artist!! Be the envy of all your friends
WILLIAMSBURG!!

Dash Snow's Coke [Ebay]
Earlier: Warhol's Children Bite Back

Vegas casino mogul Steve Wynn may be suing Lloyd's of London to pay up for his self-damaged Picasso, and he may even be taking a courageous stand versus the whole insurance industry. But now you can own a tangential piece of the story yourself, as blogger Ironic Sans is auctioning a poster featuring Wynn's painting -- Picasso's "Le R ve" -- from a 1997 Christie's New York auction where the painting was sold for $48.4 million. (Not to Wynn; he bought it in 2001 from the anonymous Christie's purchaser for an undisclosed amount. A pretty good return on the $7,000 investment made in 1941 by Victor and Sally Ganz, whose collection the Christie's event was selling off.) Ironic Sans promises that the poster, going for a mere $0.000012 million as of this writing, remains unpunctured by the elbow of Steve Wynn or any other elbow. What you poke it with after purchase is your own affair.

Have your own millionaire Picasso experience [Ironic Sans]

We kind of can't believe the bidding is still only at $30. Come on, people, act now! As you can see, Gabe is getting bored of sitting around, clutching a wad of cash and waiting for your call.

Gabriel Delahaye's Phone Number [Ebay via Lindsayism]
Earlier: Gawker Pinup Gallery: Gabriel Delahaye

Recall the tale of Stephanie Green, a researcher at Star who in 2004 began shopping Dishalicious, her Devil Wears Prada-esque novel featuring a Bonnie Fuller caricature. Green was promptly sued by American Media for violating her confidentiality agreement, though the lawsuit was finally dismissed in 2005. Sadly, the public lust (or publishing's interest) in this genre appears to be waning, as Green has been unable to find a buyer for the manuscript. Ergo, she's hawking copies of the text on Paypal, with plans to upgrade to eBay v. v. soon! After the jump, Green's philosophical take on the death of her book, plus hopes and dreams for a brighter tomorrow. more »

Despite legal threats from counsel representing the family of Nicole Brown Simpson, plus "concern" from HarperCollins, copies of OJ Simpson's If I Did It that escaped the pulper keep popping up for auction on eBay. An early copy was bid up to over $1 million by spoofers before the auction was halted; the copy listed above had received 59 bids to a more "reasonable" $6,600, but eBay monitors deleted it before we could click through. Oh well -- at least you can marvel at base human behavior through the magic of Google cache.

Lawyer Wants Simpson Book Off EBay [AP]

You think it's over? It's only over when Andrew Krucoff (and his swarm of parasitical pro bono attorneys) say it's over. To recap, friendly Gawker ghost Krucoff won an eBay auction for lunch with Architectural Digest's Katherine Scully. The auction was arranged to benefit a charity called Alpha Workshops, which trains people with HIV in the "decorative arts." However, after winning the auction and paying up, Krucoff was notified by Paypal -- days later -- that the lunch was no longer available, and his money was refunded. No further explanation has been forthcoming. But given the suspicion that the auction might have been scotched due to Krucoff's tempestuous history with AD owner Conde Nast, the man is in no mood to take a form rejection lying down. Instead, there is hushed, urgent, accusatory whispering about restraint of trade, legal recourse, and loss of work -- in other words, can we polish up a teapot for this tempest? The faceless folk at eBay assure that "appropriate action" has been taken after the auction cancellation, and Alpha Workshops appears to have dropped out of the eBay auction business. Let's hope that if the charity wouldn't take Krucoff's money, they at least took Conde Nast's to kill the deal.

Earlier: No Conde Cafeteria Klatsch for Krucoff

We were very much looking forward to friend-of-the-family Andrew Krucoff's lunch with Architectural Digest's Katherine Scully. The occasion was duly won, bought, and paid for via charity auction, but as the man himself reports, manifest shenanigans rule the day:

Charity starts at home? Not according to Architectural Digest when an unwanted house guest shows up with madi-money and a smile like a flying buttress.

Obviously certain people at Conde Nast still hold a grudge against me. I have my guesses, most likely Gary Brownell and Jill Bright, the heads of IT and HR respectively who I've never met. Despite what I was told back then, I doubt Si Newhouse or Chuck Townsend were ever briefed about the "leaked email" nonsense. At least I hope they have better things to do.

Anyway, Conde brass recently green-lighted Jess Coen for Vanity Fair and she's been driving the Conde Nast-car in a demolition derby for the past two years. So the issue is not Gawker, it's me. That hurts. Maurie Perl, prepare some talking points. Kit Seelye and my mom will be calling you.

Earlier: Return Of The Wandering Jew?

Remember yesterday's post about the eBay auction to have lunch with an Architectural Digest editor in the Conde Nast cafeteria? Well, as of this afternoon, the bidding was at a healthy $204.25. And the high bidder? Someone named Krupiter. Hmmm... why does that name sound familiar? Ah, yes, step forward Gawker mascot Andrew Krucoff, the former Conde Nast freelancer whom the company escorted from the premises and requested, Oscar Madison style, to never return. Can one fired Conde Nast worker receive a shot at redemption and get back into the building? We're guessing Si's gonna bump up the bid to whatever the necessary figure is, but it should be fun while it lasts.

Lunch @ Gehry-design Conde Nast Cafeteria w/top mag ed [eBay]

Earlier: Architectural Digest Editor Takes Second Billing To Conde Nast Cafeteria
Media Bubble, Bursted: Krucoff Fired

Feast your lascivious eyes on this, the original "fembot" prop from 1999's Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Those unfortunate enough to have seen the movie may recall that the bot was modeled after the Elizabeth Hurley character. So even though this version comes with a removable face (included!) and gun-mountable nipple ports, you can still exult in ample late-1990s Hurley cleavage. Only $1,500 on eBay, and no bids as of this writing. Get everyone in the book club to pitch in.

Austin Powers Fem Bot Movie Prop Dummy Original [eBay via Boing Boing]

A tipster directs us to the following (yes, yes, it's for charity, we're terrible for making fun, etc.) opportunity on eBay:

The bidding is currently at $12.50, which is a bargain. If you win, try and make sure you get to go on Build Your Own Taco day. It doesn't get any more fun than that.

Lunch @ Gehry-design Conde Nast Cafeteria w/top mag ed [eBay]

Former New York police commissioner and failed nominee for head of Homeland Security Bernie Kerik can't even catch a break on eBay. Granted, Kerik's police jacket (unmet starting bid: $1,000) and other memorabilia were being auctioned by alleged Kerik pal John Picciano, who "said he lives in Brazil." An "annoyed cop" griped, "Who wants a perp's jacket?". Unfortunately the auctions were pulled from eBay yesterday, so you will have to seek elsewhere for your photo of Kerik "hobnobbing" with Wayne Newton.

Kerik also an eBust, no buyer for his duds [NYDN]

Celebrity memorabilia collectors are no doubt filled with joy at the latest gem to hit eBay: what would appear to be an iPod once belonging to actor Alec Baldwin. Or an iPod belonging to someone else named Alec Baldwin, or perhaps the iPod of a weirdly misguided fan of Alec Baldwin. No explanation on how the seller came to aquire the item, but some info on Baldwin's tastes:

This is Alec Baldwin's 4th Generation 20 GB Apple iPod (Black & White). The iPod is engraved on the back to Alec Baldwin, and some of his listening choices include Flaming Lips, the Doors, and Velvet Underground, along with New York Times and BBC News Podcasts (for a full list of what he likes, email me).

The iPod is in working condition and, as of this posting, has had zero bids. Angry ex-wife and intolerable workplace demeanor not included.

Alec Baldwin's 20 GB 4th Generation iPod! [eBay]

• Supermodel Naomi Campbell puts her 6-bedroom Park Avenue condo on the block for $5.25 million. Blood-stained BlackBerry and frightened housekeepers not included. As to where she's moving to -- isn't Dubai more relaxed about beating your underlings? [Page Six]
• Jay-Z does his best George Clooney imitation and considers building a 40/40 Casino in Las Vegas. [R&M;]
• Brett Ratner's X-Men: The Last Stand breaks Memorial Day box office records, and he manages to feign humility. [Lowdown]
• An invitation from Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's wedding is now on eBay for $999.99 -- because irony is expensive. [TMZ]
• Despite the general public having 24 hours to do something about the travesty, Anna Nicole Smith remains pregnant. [People]

The Guardian reports that rather than write his first novel himself, unpublished author Phil McArthur has a better plan:

A first-time author has bypassed the traditional route of getting an agent, and is publishing a collaborative thriller on eBay. The novel is being written one page at a time, one writer to a page. As each installment is finished, the chance to create the next is offered for auction on eBay. So far, 17 pages have been completed, with 234 to go, and while the quality of the writing might charitably be described as variable, there is no shortage of plot.

McArthur, 31, thought of the project, called Novel Twists, while he was recovering from cancer and all profits will go to charity. Which made us feel kind of bad about rolling our eyes.

Author Turns to eBay in Search for Collaborators [Guardian via Galleycat]

• Aren't we long overdue for a nasty celebrity sex tape? Sure, we just had Colin Farrell's taped tryst, but that was actually kind of hot. How about something to make us vomit? A video of Kid Rock and Scott Stapp engaging in some group play with the ladies would work. [Us Weekly]
• Courtney Love finally sells her Crosby Street loft; the last reported asking price was $5.25 million. And just like that, she's left us forever. [Page Six]
• Clay Aiken continues to cruise Manhunt.com for hookups, offering to reveal his identity via webcam. We can only dream of being so lucky. [R&M; (2nd item)]
• Coldwell Banker broker Jason Lewis sells a chunk of record-setting NYC snow on eBay. We're sorry, but is the real estate market just not making you rich enough these days? [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Paris Hilton uses up another Greek shipping heir, as beau Stavros Niarchos has reportedly left her. Now we can only wait, trembling with fear and anticipation, to see who she fucks next. [Page Six]
• Thankfully, Prince will remain unharmed by Paris' claws. [Scoop]

• Britney Spears claims that she drove with her infant son in her lap because the paparazzi made her do it. You see, they asked her to pose as such, and offered her $5, and she just couldn't resist. [R&M;]
• Paris Hilton's testimony helps put away the man who burgularized and abused Girls Gone Wild perv Joe Francis. Poor Paris, always fighting for the wrong team. [Page Six]
• In other Paris-legal news, some poor soul has gotten a restraining order against the heiress, lest she stab him with her stiletto. [TMZ]
• Our favorite perv Vincent Gallo took to selling not only his sperm on eBay, but also his flesh. $50K was the starting bid for a night of Gallo pleasure but, alas, no one was syphilic enough to consider bidding. [Lowdown]
• Robin Byrd, Lizzie Grubman -- there's less of a difference than you think. [Page Six]
• Everyone's favorite "rehab" expert, Kate Moss, counsels everyone's favorite penis, Colin Farrell, on staying "sober." [Contact Music]