Dating

The phenomenon of the wingman—you know, the buddy who will distract the fat friend of the girl into whose pants you are attempting to effect entry—made its appearance in the local papers this weekend, with a piece about Art Malov, a 28-year-old dating coach who teaches sad, lonely men the secrets of conning women into your bed. There's a lot of poignance in the article; you will not be surprised to learn that one of Malov's advisees is a computer technician who is reduced to bragging about how many phone numbers he now gets. The deepest moment of pathos comes when the aforementioned computer guy points out a fellow who seems to embody the apex of skirt-chasing.

Perhaps this means that Match is now targeting a younger--much younger--demographic. In any case, these new ads can only be good news for our friend Eric Schaeffer.

Match.com Says Love's for Everybody, Even You [Adrants]

There have been times in our lives--and yours too, we imagine--where we've gone on a date with someone who turns out to be so heinously unattractive, for whatever reason, that we'd do anything, including climbing out the bathroom window, to nip the evening in the bud. What was it about that person? Was it his bad breath? Her mustache? His table manners? Jesus, it's a miracle anyone gets laid in this town at all. But wait! There's hope. more »

Let's just assume, for one moment, that we were single and in our 30s or 40s, and we were looking for a nice, hot piece of ass to take home to mom. We would have already written off the Meatpacking District and the Lower East Side as potential hunting grounds; ditto for stroller-happy Cobble Hill/Carroll Gardens. But not even the strongest whiff of desperation could get us to attend the 92nd Street Y's Deeper Dating event, if only because the Deeper Dating website promises "a series of exercises enabling people to meet many opposite sex participants in an enjoyable and less-superficial way."

A "series of exercises"? Deeper dating? Let's just say we see where this is going, and it's not to synagogue.

Deeper Dating at the 92nd Street Y [92Y Blog]
Deeper Dating

This Thursgay, after you're done reading about parents who pimp out their kids (Stephanie Rosenbloom, who did you piss off to keep getting these embarrassing assignments?) and the incredibly Timesean warning about contracting fungus from yoga mats (why wasn't this story written by Stephanie Rosenbloom?), take a look at this David Colman piece on the eclipse of the skull as a fashion motif. As it turns out, overuse of the icon has resulted in a diminution of its appeal, and that, "because such symbols are associated with youth culture, they are often viewed as superficial and treated cynically by companies that market to young people."

Quel dommage. And we had such high hopes for Linda Kay's fall line.

Thursday Styles [NYT]
Who gave the stripper the severed hand? [APP]

Please clear room in your schedule for tonight's mandatory gathering:

Friends, We'd like to invite you to a special casting party for interested women for ABC's The Bachelor at PM Friday Night. See more info below:

Friday Night, June 9th, 2006
Casting: 11pm-1am
Party: 11pm-til
Place: PM Lounge, 50 Gansevoort Street
Music: DJ M.O.S

Info and guestlist: info@ensmevents.com
Table Reservations Suggested for Male Guests: Call 646.372.6642

We'll be expecting your reports on Monday.

• Al Roker continues to amaze the denizens of Philly, revealing that he is, as suspected, a hugger. As is Matt Lauer. Katie Couric? [Insert controversial pause] Sure, guess you could say she's a hugger, too. In fact, the entire staff of the Today show molests one another daily. Except for Ann Curry. No one will touch her. [NBC10]
• So who screamed at Brandon Davis, berating him for revealing Lindsay Lohan's clit length and demanding that he "take a shower"? This girl, that's who. And she's Lindsay's biggest fan, so step the fuck off. [BWE]
• MySpace isn't just for greasy hipsters and perverse predators -- it's also for wannabe Playmates. [TMZ]
• Judge a book by its cover. [Book Covers]
• To Do, This Weekend: fuck a sailor, and fuck him good. Then tell everyone you know before realizing what you've done, then go get a STD test. [NY Sun]
• Mike Myers and his hockey stick are thisclose to joining Yonah Schimmel's and ABC No Rio as LES institutions. [Cityrag]
• Seriously, Frank Bruni, could you make us love you any more? Stop it! It's unnatural, this affection! [NYT]
• Meet the Harvard-Yale lovematch from hell. You may feel inferior now, but just wait until they move into their first Park Avenue penthouse and they start throwing crystal vases at one another. [Julia Allison]

Joan Rivers just can't get enough of internet dating. After being revealed as a user of Match.com, she went on the Today Show to talk about her frustrations and go on five quickie dates with five very uncomfortable men. Presumably none of those worked out enough to keep her occupied, and so Joan's taken to playing matchmaker for advertising guru and talk show host Donny Deutsch. Why, does His Manliness need a little help? Apparently the fig-leaf-cum-swimsuit isn't doing him any favors.

In an email sent to JDate members yesterday, it was announced that "Joan is looking for attractive and outgoing female JDate members between the ages of 30-40," as determined by whatever fancypants headshot interested, desperate women send in to NBC Universal. Those selected will participate on a speed-dating "contest" today, and then Joan herself will select finalists to appear on The Big Idea With Donny Deutsch.

If you know anyone who's participating in this sad, sad crap, do let us know. We're curious to see if things really are so bad out there that women are actually competing to spend time with Deutsch. On CNBC.

Joan Rivers Wants to Find a Date for Donny Deutsch, and it Could Be YOU! [AdFreak]

Auditioning your Nerve.com dates just got a lot easier, thanks to a new book that claims to reveal aspects of an individual's personality based on their food preferences. Another thing to overanalyze -- just what single New Yorkers need. The Post advises ladies:

If you're at a bar and your date orders raspberry-flavored vodka, watch out! While he may be a charmer, he's also likely to be impatient, an aggressive driver and suffer from a serious case of self-importance.

Also, he's gay.

Lovin Spoonful [NYP]

We have no idea if a blog calling itself WASPdate is done with any ounce of sincerity -- posts about Palm Beach and snifters strike us as a bit too perfect -- but it makes us want to wrap ourselves in a St. John's knit and weep:

WASPdate chronicles the drama, melodrama and tragicomedy of the dating scene among NYC s young elite and their wannabes. Each installment features a tale of life and love in Gotham submitted by you, our dear readers, and dissected, bisected and vivisected by our crack staff of love experts -- hopeless romantics, spurned lovers, and meth-addled swingers. These days, being a WASP is a state of mind. So, if you believe that your rightful place is on top, whether earned or inherited, that you will get there because you are who you are, and you're looking for that special someone, or--gasp--have found him or her, we want your stories.

On second thought, this can't possibly be legit. Real WASPs would never participate in such an endeavor -- that would indicate some sort of emotion, and that's just not done.

WASPdate

There's a 1980 Calvin Trillin book called Floater. It's a short, fun comic novel about working at a newsmagazine -- the protagonist is a "floater," someone who fills in wherever he's needed each week -- and it brilliantly captures some of the standard ridiculousness of life in newsmagland.

One of the running bits is a trend story on two-thirds stockings. No one knows if these stockings extend two-thirds down the leg from the waist or two-thirds up from the foot, but a story is nevertheless found, because, as the book explains, that's how a newsweekly works: An editor hears of this alleged and trivial trend and assigns it; because it's a trivial trend, it's a assigned to a low-ranking writer, who doesn't have the pull to question it; the writer sends out a query to the bureaus, where it's fielded by interns and young reporters, who wouldn't dare report back that the trend doesn't exist. So the reporters find -- or make up -- something, the writer writes up what they report, the story appears in the magazine, then people reading about it and start wearing two-thirds stockings, and, lo, now it's a trend.

We say this all as preface to a trend story on CBSNews.com today, about an "Eye-Gazing Party," a new singles idea that's sort of like speed-dating, except that you don't talk, just gaze into each other's eyes. Just one thing to keep in mind, notwithstanding the implication of the headline, which announces "a new singles dating idea." That's technically true, but so's this: It only happened once.

Which, at least, is more than could be said for the two-thirds stockings.

The Eyes Have It [CBSNews.com]

Huge news today from the Jewish Telegraphic Agency:

JDate.com -- Murray Hill's most popular online-dating destination -- has finally acknowledged the existence of gay Jews!

Thousands of Jewish mothers on Long Island? Still not so much.

JDate Comes Out of the Closet: Dating Site Welcomes Gay Searches [JTA]

• The Post runs pictures from accused sex perv Peter Braunstein's "dream wedding," which resulted in a short-lived marriage back in the early 1990's. On a side note, this is about the 15th picture we've seen of Braunstein, and we still have no clue what he looks like. Is the dude some sort of photographic shape-shifter? [NYP]
• Great news: Crack and meth addicts make better financial investments! Time to start treating that bum with a little more respect. [Under the Counter]
• Google technology makes celebrity stalking easy! [Lifehacker]
• Why women like Hilary Swank date men like Chad Lowe: defying Manhattan's romantic caste system. [NYO]
• We've no idea who this Katherine woman is, the mysterious girl who swaps and redistributes prescriptions amongst her friends -- but we'd very much like to be her BFF. [NYT]

In a move that leaves us scratching our heads, Civil Court Judge Diane Lebedeff has ruled that two Manhattan women are were entitled to refunds from internet dating service Great Expectations. One woman paid $1000 for six months that yielded absolutely no dates, while another paid $3,790 for a three-year membership full of duds. The latter woman, "Debra Roe," works in financial services and was looking to meet a fellow professional:

"I got a personal trainer and a salesman," she said.

So a professional woman is pissed because she got hooked up with a buff personal trainer? This merits a firm slap in the face and a defibrillator to her crotch, not a refund.

They'll Look for Love at Elevator [NYDN]

DailyCandy's fratboy brother Thrillist has a quiz today, which answers all those lingering questions about our missing Office box set. Now, next question: Which is the biggest sin?

A. wearing a striped button-down
B. bathing in Drakkar Noir
C. forwarding this Thrillist quiz to all of your "brahs"
D. being a Mitchum Man

PopQuiz #1 [Thrillist]

This week's episode of ABC's documentary (which is marketing code for "reality show") Hooking Up, as far as we're concerned, is the last. After all, how many times can Intern Rachel bear to watch real women live out the predictable plot lines of a particularly intolerable episode of Sex and the City? Just like last week, your sister calls the shots after the jump. more »

• Our favorite ex-pat Greg Gutfeld dons his labcoat and, after extensive scientific research, comes up with the latest medical scare, Huff-Lag. So that's why we feel sick and depressed whenever we read the HuffPo for too long. [HuffPo]
• On the NYC singles scene: "It's a fashion-y, power, kind of who you know and what you know kind of city." Yeah? And who the fuck are you? [Forbes]
• Precious indie rocker Bright Eyes gets wasted at Glastonbury, talks shit on stage, loses respect of Number One Fan Jonathan Safran Foer. [Buddyhead via Goldenfiddle]
• We remember people hating on capri pants back in 1998. Apparently, they're still hating. Listen: If it's hot as hell outside and you don't like your upper thighs, you don't have a lot of options. Lay off, dudes. [IHateCapriPants]
• Ah, good, now we're not the only website editors with BJ victims around town. [OiNY]
• And there's only one way to end a day like today: What. The. Fuck. [Craigslist]

Last week ABC premiered its latest venture into reality programming, Hooking Up. Slightly masked as a documentary, the show follows a handful of single women as they explore the world of internet dating. What do we learn? That, just like traditional dating, your sister calls the shots. After the jump, Intern Rachel reports. more »