Eavesdropping on the gays is the surest way to find out what products and people are hot and what are not. This summer, Rod Townsend will record the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and report back. All dialogue 100% verbatim.

INT. A LONG ISLAND RAILROAD CAR, EAST-BOUND
The afternoon train is crowded, with a mix of those leaving Manhattan after a long day of work and those that are beach-bound. The commuters read papers and magazines, sleep, and talk quietly amongst themselves, but one voice rises above them. GREENTWINK talks on a cell phone and sits on the window side of a pair of seats with YELLOWTWINK. Both are wearing what appear to be freshly pressed Izod shirts in the colors of their names. Both wear over-sized sunglasses with lenses that coyly reveal the movements of the eyes concealed within. more »

Let's check in and see how Julia Allison's new gig as Time Out dating columnist is going. Maybe she's dropping dirty secrets about media figure she's semi-seeing or offending us by suggesting that women should whore themselves out for shoes. Or! Maybe she's ... getting so lazy that she's calling in Neel Shah and his College Humor compatriots to pinch-hit. Oh, Julia. Already? more »

"We've always thought we should save all our ire for corporate-controlled pap, rather than aiming it at our feminist comrades. But contentwise, these gals have recently sported some gnarly green between their teeth—er, pages," reads the introduction to an article in the Summer issue of Bitch magazine entitled "Et Tu, Bust?" Catfight alert! Wait... does saying stuff like "catfight alert" reify gender norms and undermine the possibility for serious discourse about dissent within the feminist movement? Or is it sometimes okay not to take everything feminism-related soooo damned seriously? This month, we read Bust and Bitch in search of the two independently published magazines' answers to those questions. Bitch's answers are: yes, no. Bust's answers are: no, and here is how to do your own highlights! Who will win? Hint: Not women. more »

As reaction to the finale of "The Sopranos" continues to run heavily against David Chase's decision to end on an ambiguous note—or so says the media, the Star-Ledger, as we mentioned earlier, runs an absolutely terrific interview with the show's creator. Chase, "hiding out" in France to avoid the inevitable disgruntled reaction from a bunch of mooks who like their endings spelled out in giant block letters, denies intentionally upsetting the show's fans. "We did what we thought we had to do. No one was trying to blow people's minds or thinking, 'Wow, this'll (tick) them off.'" But will there be a 'Sopranos' movie? more »

Here's a scene from a recent protest in San Juan against a change in Puerto Rico's civil code that would allow same-sex couples civil unions. It pretty much speaks for itself, no?

Photo of the day: Sperm dance against gay marriage, abortion [Blabbeando]

Every month we get a box of Haute Living magazines, a rich man's Real Estate section. During the winter we use these boxes for kindling and during the summer months we use it to prop open the door. Sometimes, on a slow news day, we open them. The pages are purposefully high gloss as to safeguard the manicured fingerpads of the readers (matte chafes). And the articles are fawning paeans to the city's high-end developers. This month, the "women of substance" column features a particular catch. She looks like Chloe Sevigny, wrote a thesis on Dostoevsky and is developing that crazy doctor's blown up townhouse on Upper East Side. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Janna Bullock. more »

As finale fever grips the nation, even the anchors at "Good Morning America" are getting in on the act. They discuss their favorite series finales in television history. Their picks may surprise you! Unless you've been paying attention.

Sperm are also fast and as cute as tadpoles. They have chubby teardrop heads and stylish, tapering tails, and they glide, slither, bumble and do figure-eights. So while a father may not be entitled to take the same pride in his sperm as he does in his kids, it's fair to celebrate the single-minded cellular commas that helped give those children their start.

Sleek, Fast and Focused: The Cells That Make Dad Dad [NYT]

The star of this week's look at the New Yorkers who don't make the cut in New York is the novelist with the most diamonds. Richard Blakeley spends some time with Dr M.F., author of Nothing's Wrong.

Previously: Meet Jimmy Napoli

In late March, as hubbub about Kurt Eichenwald's involvement with his main source for his blockbuster New York Times internet kiddie porn expose refused to die down (due in part to his threatening his critics with lawsuits), WWD ran an item saying that Eichenwald's first story for his new employers at Portfolio had been held from the debut issue. According to those accounts, the magazine didn't want Eichenwald's NYT problems overshadowing its first issue, though easily they just might not have room for the piece, as the magazine over-commissions wildly. Now sources inside the magazine confirm that the piece will not be running in the second issue, and they suggest it most likely will not be running at all. more »

On Friday, the Pentagon confirmed long-standing reports that, a decade ago, military leaders had considered building a gay bomb. An Air Force proposal suggested the concept of an offensive weapon that might render its victims homosexual. "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example," said the proposal, :would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior." While the idea was scrapped, it seems unlikely that other governments are so scrupulous. In this morning's Times, former Defense Secretary William J. Perry and others suggested that the time to prepare for an attack of gay is now.

THE probability of a fruiclear weapon one day going off in an American city cannot be calculated, but it is larger than it was five years ago. Potential sources of bombs or the fissureable materials to make them have proliferated in a much-gayer North Korea and Iran. Russia's arsenal remains incompletely secured 15 years after the end of the Soviet Union. And Pakistan's fruiclear technology, already put on the market once by Abdul Qadeer Khan, could go to terrorists if the president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, cannot control butt-loving radicals in that country. more »

For some time now, the number of bank branches in the city has been rising like the Dow. It's not that we don't like being able to overdraw at every street corner from our depleted checking account. It's just that the city is becoming a giant, badly-designed ATM—and the East Village is getting it bad. more »