Jean-Claude Van Damme really messed up a good thing. I can't imagine growing up without his many martial arts movies. With his moistened pecs and hero-like resolve, he ruled B- movie aggression in a way that Lundgren and Segal could never imagine. I thought my mother was crazy when she wanted to pick up one of his films, but soon I ate my words. He kicked Kumite ass, took on the creepy Tong Po, and even gave us some double action. However, none of these come close to the power of Cyborg, my sci-fi favorite. Bender!!!!

Anyhow, I couldn't stop laughing this morning when I read a bit of news by way of Empire. Earlier this year, we reported that Van Damme was rumored to be starring with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in the pointless third edition to Rush Hour. Well, the muscle man apparently came clean with Empire. No, he will not be the villain in the third film. Why? Because he made it up!

Oh, Jean-Claude -- I know that these last ten years have been rough for you, from bad movie choices to stripper shenanigans, but do you really have to publically imagine a different film life for yourself? According to the once-Street Fighter, he wouldn't want to do a comedy like Rush Hour, but rather one like Lethal Weapon. Maybe that's the Muscle from Brussels being a little big for his current britches, but with the current state of Gibson, maybe it isn't as silly as it sounds!

Had Sean Connery taken the lucrative deal that was presented to him in 1999 by New Line Cinema to play Gandalf the Grey in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy, he could have cleared up to as much as $434 million. Connery's squandered opportunity is the subject of a story in today's edition of The Scotsman, which gleaned the information from a passage in Brian Sibley's recent biography of Jackson. According to the piece, New Line was so worried about staking the Rings threesome without a single major, international star attached that they crafted for Connery a lavish backend deal similar to the one that lured Nicholson to play The Joker in 1989's Batman. Peter Jackson is quoted as saying that Rings executive producer Mark Ordesky told him "New Line was prepared to give him [Connery] between 10 percent and 15 percent of the films' income." Had that happened, Connery would have cashed more scratch for a single project than any actor in history.

The famously prickly Connery has gone on record saying that he wouldn't have taken the role of the big-hatted wizard because "I never understood it. I read the book, I read the script, I saw the movie, and I still don't understand it." The book also implies that Jackson wasn't keen on casting Connery, either. "I couldn't imagine him wanting to spend eighteen months in New Zealand," Jackson says, which sounds like polite movie-talk for "Please don't come and spend eighteen months in New Zealand." I personally could see Connery as a quiet, reflective Obi-Wan type, but anyone who remembers The Rock knows how silly he looks with long hair, so his interpretation of Gandalf might not have gone over well.

In-between incensing comic book fans everywhere and the controversy over his being cast as the Joker; Heath Ledger has let one of his projects fall by the wayside. Ledger had been set to star in the film Dirt Music with Rachel Weisz, from Australian director Philip Noyce, but it looks like Ledger's commitment to Christopher Nolan and The Dark Knight is going to take priority.

Director Philip Noyce (Rabbit Proof Fence) has announced that Ledger is officially off the film adaptation of Tom Winton's novel of the same name. Noyce was pretty direct about he reason for the casting change "He's doing The Joker, instead". The story centers on an alcoholic mother and wife of the local bigwig of a fishing town who is drawn to a tortured widower. Despite Ledger dropping out from the project, Noyce is still planning on going ahead with the film with Weisz still attached. This isn't the first casting shake-up for Noyce, the first was the loss of Nicole Kidman, who had been originally attached to play Weisz's role. Noyce didn't give any hints as to who he had in mind to replace Ledger, but since Noyce's film has been in production for a while now, I'm sure recasting will begin as soon as possible.

[via JoBlo.com]

I'm not sure how Dolly Parton does it. Despite being the spitting image of an older Barbie, and being a popular Country singer, I still like her. While I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a fan, she definitely holds a place in my heart -- whether she is shocking people with a cover of Stairway to Heaven, running The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, or tying up the snarky Dabney Coleman in 9 to 5. She's got spunk. However, I do hope that my Darling Dolly gets rid of that spiky hair. It's a 'do I had in the fourth grade.

Starpulse has reported that Kristin Chenoweth has gotten a big thumbs-up to play Dolly in a biopic -- from the Smokey Mountain Songbird herself. Chenoweth, who made a name for herself on The West Wing, has had increasingly more prominent roles in film over the past few months, going from an anchorwoman in Stranger Than Fiction to fourth-billed in the new Deck the Halls. Apparently, Dolly will talk to her people, who will likely talk to Chenoweth's people, and it will be a whole people-filled communication fest. This might all be a pipe dream, but I for one would love to see Chenoweth in Dolly's bouffant 'fro from the eighties.

The film seems to only be in the beginning conception stages, but I wonder if it could really come to life. The really notable music biopics contain heart-wrenching stories and other drama. Would creators be able to make a tune we could really sink our cinematic teeth into? Furthermore, do you think Kristin Chenoweth the right choice, or is Ms. Parton totally missing the mark?

Just over a month ago I shared with you the news that genre favorite Stuart Gordon was about to get rolling on an odd-sounding thriller called Stuck -- and I promised to bring you casting news when it became available. I really did! "Stuck begins production in New Brunswick next week. We'll let you know if any cool casting news hits the 'net." See?

Well anyway, some of the aforementioned casting news has indeed hit the 'net, and here's what we got: Mena Suvari and Stephen Rea. She'll play a young woman who smashes into a homeless man with her car, only to find him irretrievably lodged within her windshield. So she drives home with the guy "stuck" there, parks her car in the garage, and waits for the poor dude to die. Nice, eh? Gotta love good ol' Stu Gordon.

More than a dozen other actors have also been named as Stuck employees, but Rea and Suvari are easily the biggest names in the cast. Check out the rest of the actors at Bloody-Disgusting.com, which is where I originally found the information. Obviously.

If someone told me to scout out some scary locales for a new horror film, I'd probably think of the main aspects of any horror film, and try to fit those parameters. The place would be dark, or look intriguing and shadow-filled at night. There would be a chilling sense of isolation, whether it's because of the creepy people in the town, or the place being in the middle of nowhere. There would be mazes for villains to escape and victims to hide. Probably one of the last places I would think to use would be Miami , although those CSI people seem to have their hands full.

The sun-filled city of bikinis and roasting silicone will be the backdrop to the soon-to-be-shot horror film, 100 Tears. All we know about the plot at this time is that it covers "the depths of depravity in which the human mind can ultimately sink." That clears up all questions, doesn't it? Anyhow, the film has just got a new lead to star alongside Raine Brown, theatre-actress-turned-horror-queen -- Mungo McKay, most known for his wild, gun-toting ways in the Australian film, Undead.

I'm sure not much more news will come out until the film begins to shoot in February, but I'm all ready for the speculation. Sure, it could take place in a dingy building somewhere, or in the dark glow of night, but what if it took place among the tanners and partiers? I'm wondering if the real master of horror will be the one who makes a damn scary film in the bright, shining light of day -- and I'm not talking about the scary likes of Spice World.

It had been awhile since we heard anything about the Get Smart movie, and I was kinda hoping that it wasn't actually being made. But as Erik reported almost a year ago, Steve Carrell is in fact bringing Maxwell Smart to the big screen in an adaptation directed by Peter Segal and written by Matt Ember & Tom J. Astle. Now Agent 86 might have a partner, as Anne Hathaway is about to be cast in the role of Agent 99. And production is set to begin in March, just as soon as Carrell is done shooting the current season of The Office, which picks up in January after the actor finishes up on Dan in Real Life (the guy apparently never takes a vacation).

With both Mel Brooks and Buck Henry still alive, I can't believe that this movie could really be written by a duo other than them -- not that I think they'd write it. I just simply can't imagine that it will have any of the zany tone that the TV show had. That said, I am pretty happy with the casting so far. I can't think of a better pair than Carrell and Hathaway to play the characters originated by Don Adams and Barbara Feldon, respectively. They better not mess it up with whoever they get for The Chief.

I guess there's not much chance of the movie being as bad as the '90s Get Smart series starring Andy Dick (and Adams and Feldon) nor could it be as awful as the Inspector Gadget movie (the cartoon was like a spin-off of Get Smart and featured Adams' voice).

I'm not only a sucker for a good remake of classic cheese, but I also love musing over who should be cast as classic characters. Sometimes my vision makes it, like Christian Bale's lips getting the chance to pout below that tight Batman mask, and sometimes it isn't meant to be, like Maggie Gyllenhaal as a classy Lois Lane. Somehow, in all of the discussions I have had over the years concerning remakes, CHiPs never occurred to me. However, I really don't think I could've come up with someone better to take over Ponch than Wilmer Valderrama.

Cinematical has been following the development of this remake for a while now. While recent rumors have given the new Ponch his twenty-first century Jon Baker, Valderrama recently set the record straight during a press junket. There is no saucy partner signed onto the project yet, although Wilmer's wording didn't completely rule out Chris Evans in the part.

What is more promising is Valderrama's attitude towards the remake. The word "remake" usually makes us queasy, and leads to many questions. Will it be a farce like The Brady Bunch Movie? Will it seem too different like Miami Vice? Wilmer insists that this current-day adaptation will be respectful, colorful and fun. Although they've got the script and are currently looking for a director, I wonder if the feather-haired duo will hold the same magic outside the unique style of the seventies and eighties?

[via Cinema Blend]

Okay, someone somewhere has to be a bit ticked off at Eva Green. With each interview the girl does for Casino Royale, she spills a bunch of details regarding casting and plot for some of her other films. Case in point: She told the French magazine Studio that Eric Bana, Kevin Bacon and John Hurt have joined Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig in The Golden Compass. Just the fact that Eva Green is telling us this and not, say, The Hollywood Reporter, means it's probably something the folks behind Compass don't want sailing around ... yet. The Chris Weitz-directed film is currently in production (check out some photos) and its scheduled to slide into theaters December 7, 2007.

Oh, but we're not done with Ms. Green yet -- the gal is determined to spoil the next Bond film (currently titled Bond 22) and seems to tell us something new each and every time she opens up her mouth. Last time she talked up Bond 22, the girl unveiled some pretty big spoilers, as well as more of the plot -- which will revolve around "a dark secret of Vespers involving her lover being tortured, leading Bond to his next mission." Now, she tells EW who the next Bond villain will be: "The plan is, the Algerian boyfriend is going to be the baddie in the second Bond ..." Apparently (and I have not seen Royale yet, so correct me if I'm wrong), but at one point Vesper mentions this Algerian ex-boyfriend that she has. While she's at it, maybe next week Eva Green can tell us the cure for world peace. Stay tuned, Cinematical is attempting to record all of her future conversations ... [via Cinema Blend]

Even though his days of playing the super-suave agent 007 in the Bond movies are over, Pierce Brosnan doesn't seem to want to put playing a spy behind him just yet. According to a recent article in the Hollywood Reporter, Brosnan is getting back into the spy game by signing up for the comedy Spy vs. Stu for New Line. Brosnan will also produce the film through his Irish Dream production company with New Line's Richard Brenner and Jeff Katz.

The film, scripted by Keith Mitchell and Allie Dvorin, concerns Stu, a commitment-phobe who brings his girlfriend to an island paradise in order to gain the courage to finally propose to her. Unfortunately for Stu, a handsome, debonair spy, fresh from saving the world (Brosnan), is also on the island and takes a liking to Stu's girlfriend. After that, Stu is forced to compete with the spy for the love of his girlfriend. Maybe its just me or does this plot kinda sound like the movie Mrs. Doubtfire -- a film in which Brosnan also starred as a super-suave guy (named Stu, btw) trying to take another man's woman?

Once he's finished tackling teen pregnancy with the up-and-coming Ellen Page and Juno, director Jason Reitman is looking to don his ninja outfit for a flick called Bonzai Shadowhands. Those of you who are big fans of the Americanized version of The Office will be happy to hear that the script is being written by Rainn Wilson (aka Dwight), as a starring vehicle for himself. Reitman will helm, as well as produce alongside his Hard C partner Daniel Dubiecki for Fox Searchlight.

As of now, the plot is being kept hush hush, however the Hollywood Reporter tells us the dark comedy will revolve around a "once-great ninja who is now living a life of mediocrity." It sounds a bit silly, but Reitman seems to have a good eye for material and, while his father dedicated most of his career to straight comedies, the younger Reitman seems like the kind of guy who wants to spice up the genre, concentrate more on story and character, as well as darken -- not lighten -- up the mood. And I dig that about him. In saying that, I'm not crazy about Wilson in The Office (Mackenzie Crook, in my mind, was so much better in the role), and never had a chance to see him in My Super Ex-Girlfriend. (In fact, it was on the set of Ex-Girlfriend where Wilson and Reitman first met.) Could Wilson, who spends most of his time playing the most annoying character on the face of the planet, successfully carry a film all on his own? Jason Reitman seems to think so -- what about you?

Two members from the Broken Lizard comedy troupe are looking to go where plenty of people have gone before (storywise) with their latest spec script, Funny Fat Guy, which Warner Bros. has just picked up. Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemme wrote the spec, while Heffernan is currently attached to star. However, while the two are known for being Lizards, Fat Guy will not be an official Broken Lizard-penned project. Oh drats -- after all, everyone knows how much I absolutely love all those Lizard flicks. Comedy gold, I tell ya.

Plot will revolve around your stereotypical funny fat guy (basically me in college) -- ya know, the guy who tells the best jokes, party's hard and always has your back. A great friend. A great teammate. Yet, the kind of dude who has the worst luck when it comes to the opposite sex. So, if you've seen films like Can't Buy Me Love or She's All That, then you know exactly where this one is heading -- at some point, the funny fat guy wants to transform himself into a ladies man ... but, I assume, with a Broken Lizard twist. Warner Bros. is all about The Lizard, as Heffernan is also set to star in The Baby Maker (Lizard-produced) for Warners and the troupe has Nutcraker, Ambulance Chasers and Take My Wife all set up at the studio.

Kevin Smith's professional trajectory can be seen from many angles. For example, there are his challenges in the professional world -- from troublesome studio involvement in Mallrats to the lethal sting of bad publicity for Jersey Girl. However, what is more noticeable is his struggle to include his mature life with the humor and fart jokes of his past success. As Smith became a family man and Jason Mewes got off drugs, his scope changed, and his films just don't work like they used to.

Perhaps his cinema struggle is why he's put an increasing amount of attention into television. He's not only fulfilled his dream of being on Degrassi, but he also joined Joss Whedon as praising fan and guest star of Veronica Mars. But even still, a guest appearance is just a brief foray, a weekend vacation. Now Smith actually has a starring television role, one he hopes will teach him something about acting.

The show is Manchild, a BBC adaptation that might ring bells as the show Anthony Head joined towards the end of his stint as Rupert Giles on Buffy. As Smith has said on his website, he'll act alongside "real, honest-to-goodness actors," most notably John Corbett. I often find it jarring when new actors face old pros, so only time will tell if that will be his kiss of death or a positive influence. What do you all think? Will Smith's new job give him the insight to improve the films of his future, or should he stick to directing his friends and occasional philosophical bursts?

Though I miss the days when his films were downright freaky, my ears always perk up at the mention of a new David Cronenberg movie. His latest effort Eastern Promises has been mentioned here on Cinematical before (click here and here for previous reports), but at long last it's set to begin production next week in London. The director will be re-teaming with Viggo Mortensen, star of Cronenberg's A History of Violence, and Peter Jackson's film adaptation of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. According to Coming Soon, Mortensen will play Nikolai, a man with ties to organized crime in London. He crosses paths with a midwife named Anna, played by Naomi Watts, who accidentally discovers evidence against the mob. The screenplay is by Steven Knight, who received an Oscar-nomination for his Dirty Pretty Things screenplay. Based on this description, Mortensen's character sounds similar to the one he played in A History of Violence, so it will be interesting to see what he and Cronenberg do to make this character different. Joining Mortensen and Watts will be Vincent Cassel, Armin Mueller-Stahl (who received and Oscar nomination for his role in Shine), Sinead Cusack, Donald Sumpter, and filmmaker Jerzy Skolimowski.

Cronenberg first made a name for himself with several bizarre and distinctive films that can best be described as Cronenbergian; his style is uniquely his own. Some like Rabid, Scanners and The Fly are horror and/or science fiction films, while Naked Lunch and Videodrome aren't nearly as easy to classify. His more recent works, like the aforementioned A History of Violence, are generally more subtle, but just as dark as anything he's done before. Based on Cronenberg's previous work, Eastern Promises shows -- dare I say it -- a lot of promise.

There's no stopping Justin Timberlake these days, even though I feel the man is destined to star in one bad film after another. Some might call it a curse, while others feel it's more along the lines of "take what you can get." Kind of like back in the day when you were younger and really wanted a brand new bike. You looked forward to that bike. Dreamt about it, drew pictures of it in your school notebook. And, even though you were fourteen, a letter to Santa couldn't hurt. However, since your family hated you and never wanted to see you happy, I had to settle for some piece of crap the neighbor left on the curb when they skipped town. Damn you mom and dad! But, anyway ... Alpha Dog is supposed to come out sometime in the next four years. So there's that.

And Moviehole reports that Timberlake has landed yet another role, this time he will star alongside folks like Dennis Quaid, James Caan and that dude from Pimp My Ride -- I think his name is Prohibit or Xzibit ... something like that. The name of the film is True Players, and unfortunately I couldn't find any other details on it. I assume it will be some sort of con-artist flick judging by the title and the actors involved. If that's the case, it will be nice to see Quaid jump back into a more exciting role after watching him play schlub after schlub in films like Yours, Mine and Ours, In Good Company and Far from Heaven. Granted, there's the obligatory action film thrown in from time to time, but don't you wanna see the guy play a real slickster? Remember Innerspace and Great Balls of Fire? Yeah, give us another one of those performances, Quaid. As far as Timberlake goes, he's got Alpha Dog coming out on January 27 followed by Black Snake Moan on February 23. My fingers are triple crossed, as I imagine yours are too.