If you haven’t been watching The Amazing Race this season, you might not be familiar with Sarah and Peter, the creepy Father/Daughter/Oh-Wait-They’re Dating couple. Simply put, Sarah is a tiny blonde musculatory powerhouse who only has one leg, and in what sounds like an adorable pairing, Peter is a clinical prosthetist (cue awwws). And if this is a match made in heaven, then the Gods must be crazy, because Peter might actually be a sociopathic murderer. Besides treating Sarah like a little girl (and granted, she looks like a 13 year old on roids), he’s also incredibly condescending. And worse, he makes the poor girl perform all the difficult challenges, while being the first one to use the handicap card! Needless to say, when host Phil Koeghan talks about each “leg” of the race, we look at the floor while nonchalantly caressing our calves and weeping.

Last night took this hypcorisy to a whole new level. The teams found themseles in beautiful Vietnam, and were hit with a Roadblock — a task only one member of the twosome can complete — and specifically requested the team member with strong arms and legs to complete it. Ne’ertheless, Peter gallantly volunteers Sarah to complete the task, bolstering her confidence with creeptown compliments. And God bless the editors of this show, who brilliantly spliced together footage (we’re really toeing the line) of lil’ Sar, hoisting her disabled way up a cliff while crying, and Peter, literally reclining on a boat and sipping from a soda can.

The entire episode was thrilling, and sadly Tom and Terry, aka The Even Gayer Hobbits, were eliminated. It’s not too late to get into the season; in fact, it looks like the best is yet to come. We just hope Peter gets his!

It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 8th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Everybody Hates Chris, Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives!

It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 1st! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Everybody Hates Chris, Amazing Race, and Desperate Housewives!

We here at BWE are noticing an interesting trend: prosthetic limbs. Move over slowly Heather Mills, technology and reality are making prosthetic limbs a hot new accessory. Take The Amazing Race this season, which features a three-legged team: Peter and poor incredibly-strong Sarah. Sarah’s been a real trooper (she’s a motivational speaker, p.s.), hoofing it across continents with a futuristic prosthetic limb that’s lightning fast! Well, when it isn’t leaking hydraulic fluid… and when her boyfriend/weird aggressive dad figure isn’t talking to her like she’s a mentally ill fifth grader… But other than that, that leg is a benefit! Especially when she shows it off to a group of Mongolians by performing a shuttle run and dancing the Roger Rabbit for some pocket change. (The good news it, judging by her upper-bod, Sarah could tear Peter to shreds, which we hope happens in an upcoming epi. We really can’t stand his attitude towards her.)

Today, we learned that an adorable baby dolphin named Winter who lost her tail in an unfortunate human-related accident might be getting a prosthetic tail instead! Ayayay! Poor lil’ Winter will need three different prosthetic tails as she gets bigger, kind of like dolphin training wheels. And while the cost of said tails will exceed $100,000, here’s an idea: why doesn’t a company sponsor the tail? You know, like a racecar? I’d be happy to go out and buy a pool-load of Tide if I knew little Winter’s life depended on it.

It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, September 24th! Lang is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simpsons, Amazing Race, and Desperate Housewives!

While sponsors are busy pulling out of Survivor: Race Wars like an unprotected teen’s first time (groan, we know), there is a much more sinister racist beast lurking in the primetime CBS listings: The Amazing Race 10. The Amazing Race, for those of you recently let out of a predator’s underground tunnel system, pits 12 teams of 2 people against one another in a race around the world, hosted by the hottest besweatered man after young Cosby, Phil Keoghan. Each season, the 12 teams are diverse and interesting and autistic enough to create some genuine drama. (The season with the midget was effing geen.) But this season, casting directors outdid themselves in covering every. single. race-base amongst the 12 teams. And (SPOILER ALERT), is it just coincidence that the two teams booted off just happened to be brown people? We wonder. If you missed it, please, peruse the cast with us:

• Bilal & Sa’eed: Two Muslim friends who swore that they would stop and pray no matter where they were or what they were doing. Well, Allah-dee-dah. (Is punning allowed?) When the other teams began referring to them as “The Beards”, we though — Are Katie Holmes and Kelly Preston on the show? And while it would have been interesting to watch them continue in the race, if only to see whether or not they were considered a flight risk, alas they were the first team to get eliminated… We’re calling foul play.

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, Sept. 17th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simpsons, Amazing Race, and Family Guy!