Leave it to Hollywood to turn our lazy summer days into one crazy-filled week. Here’s what happened:

• When Paramount decided to terminate its 14-year partnership with Tom Cruise, both parties started pointing fingers in the press, resulting in one very frightening memo to Tom from Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone.
• We discovered a site called 10,000 Reasons Civilization Is Doomed and had a good chuckle about it. But after also discovering Paris’ album, Dane Cook’s idea of comedy, a Lohan Family Circus comic, a Snakes on a Plane tattoo, and celebrity scales, we’re starting to worry that the site wasn’t a joke.
• After failing to impress even the most musical-taste-challenged teenyboppers at the Teen Choice Awards, K-Fed stops bragging about his MC skills and starts bragging about his GED skills.
• Team Firecrotch decided their battles would be better fought by moving Moron Headquarters from Hyde Nightclub directly to Paris Hilton’s house, where Brandon Davis also now resides.
• Seeing as neither could avoid the necessity of promoting themselves to their target demographic at the Teen Choice Awards, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson’s inevitable crossing of paths turned out to be one really awkward encounter.
• Troubled pop princess Britney Spears has been making pretty premature plans for her own burial, saying she wants to be buried with her dog Lucky. As the average human lives upwards of 70 years and dogs only for about 10, this means she’s either planning to keep Lucky’s corpse on ice for six decades, or she’s really trying tell us something.