I couldn’t tell if yesterday’s Oprah episode was about dramatic weight loss stories, featuring a guy who lost three hundred pounds and now has a whole bunch of loose extra skin, or if it was a “Where Are They Now?” Star Wars reunion featuring Lando’s lovable sidekick, Nien Nunb. You make the call.

After the jump, Nien and Lando reunite!

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If you aren’t doing your part to keep Lindsay Lohan alive, here’s are two simple steps you need to take: 1) Download the My Lil Lohan Facebook Application and start giving and receiving Lohantastic gifts, and 2) Tune in to an all new episode of Best Week Ever tonight at 9 or 11. How does the second thing contribute to keeping Lindsay alive? Answer to that next week! In the meantime, here’s what’s been going on this week:

• Michael Showalter, Alex Blagg, and ten random topics can only mean one thing: BLOG OFFFFFF!!! Or a really interesting episode of “PTI”.
• Just when you think you’ve seen every ridiculous amateur singer out there (I had this thought right after I saw Cowardly Lion woman), here comes Zac Efron from “High School Musical 2″ girl. I know what you’re thinking, fellas, and yes, she’s single.
• Look, people, this list of the 10 Most Overrated Supporting Characters in Movie History isn’t some innocuous pop culture piece written in an exaggeratedly angry tone, it is a very serious, very urgent call to arms.
• Michelle ponders whether or not the Coen Brothers’ mass-murdering antihero Javier Bardem is hot or not. The verdict: Uh, doy.
• If you’ve never seen Gordon Ramsay’s new show “Kitchen Nightmares,” here’s every episode that has or will ever air.
• “Man vs Wild” proves that everything you’ll ever need to know about survival can be learned in the Star Wars Saga. Important tip #1: Do not fall into the Sarlac Pit.
• The “Curb Your Enthusiasm” finale was spectacular, though there really wasn’t any secret as to what made the season…
• Even though we haven’t seen “Young Frankenstein” on Broadway, we have no qualms about giving you 10 reasons why you shouldn’t see it.
• Finally, we have seen a lot of commercials here at BWE, but this commercial for Cabot Cheese featuring lovable character-actor-extraordinaire Luis Guzman may be the single most inexplicable ad we have ever seen. Also, I’m eating Cabot cheese as we speak, and for the rest of my life.

10. Darth Maul, “Star Wars: Episode 1″

Has there ever been a more out of whack Halloween-costumes-to-actually-doing-sh*t-in-the-movie ratio in pop culture history? At least Quail Man occassionally spoke complete sentences; Darth Maul is the most obviously-played-by-stuntman-who-causes-himself-pain-whenever- he-tries-to-speak-English character this side of Bane. In retrospect, Maul getting sliced in half at the end of “Phantom Menace” almost seems like preemptive retribution to punish people for making his image way more popular than it deserved to be. If only the same fate had befallen Jar-Jar…

9. Vincent Vega, “Pulp Fiction”

Have you seen “Pulp Fiction” in the last two years? Almost every aspect of the movie still completely justifies its film-student poster-worship, with the throbbing exception of every single line uttered by John Travolta, which will, one after another, make you convinced that someone has gone back and made his acting worse because there’s no way you didn’t notice how bad it was the first time you watched it. Remember when critics were declaring “Travolta’s back!” and praising Tarantino’s offbeat casting choice and getting Travolta nominated for a Best Actor Oscar? Just goes to show that if you eat nothing but poop-corn for ten years (”Look Who’s Talking Now”) and someone gives you a slice of Sbarro’s pizza, you’re gonna be raving about how awesome the pizza is.

8. The Scorpion King, “The Mummy Returns” and “The Scorpion King”

What ether-sniffing Hollywood producer saw The Rock rolling into the final battle in “Mummy Returns” with his torso CGI’d onto a scorpion body and said “THAT NEEDS TO BE ITS OWN FILM”? On one hand, the spin-off did perform decently at the box office, but on the other hand, it is The Rock and he is literally a scorpion. I can’t stress that point enough. Here are some other spin-offs I would have preferred to see: John Goodman from “Lebowski” and he is a mongoose. Matt Dillon from “Something About Mary” and he is Lucy, the early human skeleton. The Rock from “The Scorpion King” and he is Rockefeller Plaza made out of rocks…

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Remember in the beginning of Empire Strikes Back, when Luke Skywalker is in danger of freezing to death on the ice planet Hoth and must use his lightsaber to cut open the belly of the Tauntaun he’d been riding, so he could crawl inside for warmth and shelter? Yeah, well next week on Man vs Wild, Bear Grylls straight up does that, but with a camel, in the desert, using his hunting knife (and he even does Skywalker one better by eating some of the raw camel fat). May the force be with you not throwing up as you watch this.

What would the world (or the World Wide Web, at least) be without those all those effects-savvy sci-fi dorks producing their incessant Star Wars fan parody videos? A pretty boring place. This latest lovingly-created piece examines the question of what would happen if Darth Vader’s galaxy-domination plans had been sidetracked by the prospect of the Dark Lord finding unexpected love with a beautifully evil Space Lady. Who needs intergalactic supremacy when they’re under the intoxicating spell of True Love?

• George Lucas is in serious talks to develop a “Star Wars” tv series. I suppose a bunch of little, weekly disappointments would be easier to stomach than huge, monumental letdowns every couple years.
• Did indie rocker Ted Leo win $500 of free Taco Bell food without actually entering any kind of contest? Actually, if you worked at a Taco Bell, wouldn’t you just give Ted Leo free food anyway?
• A Pepsi delivery driver punched a Coke driver in the face three times during a delivery, breaking his nose and giving him a black eye. I think it’s time to draw the line on these Superbowl commercials.
• A burglar broke into a Wisconsin apartment, but instead of grabbing valuables, he walked out with “a pizza, six eggs, a can of beef ravioli, a can of peaches and one chicken-and-broccoli Hot Pocket.” Police have brought in every roommate ever for questioning.
• In your newsworthiest story of the day, Amy Winehouse opened a pop-top juice bottle with her teeth. That’s the whole story. Also, the juice was heroin.

There are many things that make the following video amazing. For starters, it’s called “Star Wars Trumpet” — that should be enough right there. But no, it gets better. For the trumpeteer is a girl named Stacey Hedger, who appears on stage wearing the finest black unitard with silver sparkle-fringed sleeves the 1980’s had to offer. And just when you think you’re about to be blown away by her unbelievable horn skills… she proceeds to pump out the most cacaphonous, ear-splitting rendition of the Star Wars theme imaginable. Thankfully, this doesn’t stop her from using her trumpet as a deadly blaster! And doing a killer Charlie Chaplin impression! THIS IS MAYBE THE BEST VIDEO ON THE NET, and it’s thanks to a little friend called COMMITMENT. Watch it now.

(Thanks to Robert M. for passing this along!)

To this point in my brief BWE blogging stint, I have refrained from sharing my feelings about “Family Guy” for two main reasons. 1 - While I personally can’t watch the show anymore, I have no ill will towards my many friends who still watch it and talk about how funny it is that Stewie sang the “Mr. Belvedere” theme. 2 - If I complain about “Family Guy”, people invariably ask me what I do like, and no matter what I answer (um, I like ‘The Office,’ why?) they tell me that thing sucks, and I don’t know sh*t, etc.

That being said, last night’s hour-long “Star Wars” parody was the lowest low point in the history of lowness for the show I vaguely recall enjoying many years ago. A non-topical double-length parody of “Star Wars”, just months after “Robot Chicken” did one, and just years after “South Park” parodied both “Episode 1″ and the Lucas reissues, and just decades after “Spaceballs” and “The Muppet Show”, complete with impossibly stomach-turning sequences in which the molestor neighbor (remember when he was funny in that one episode in Season 3? Well now they use him in pretty much every episode) does a lengthy song and dance sequence to “Time of My Life” from “Dirty Dancing” (remember that movie??? ridiculous!!!), a joke about Angelina Jolie retreating to Africa, the Cleveland-voiced R2D2 character making a racist menthol cigarettes joke, and about fifteen sequences in which the characters literally explain why a certain part in “Star Wars” is kind of unrealistic. I did mention that “Star Wars” came out thirty years ago and has been parodied by every remotely comedic endeavor in the history of print, tv, and film ever since, right? Ok, cool.

However, the hackiness of today’s “Family Guy” runs way deeper than just its decision to parody “Star Wars.” At this point, the references in the show aren’t even parodies, or jokes, or in any way insightful, creative, or not a complete waste of time. During the final Death Star battle, the Griswold family drove by in a flying wood-panelled Wagon, and literally did the dialogue from the St. Louis scene in “National Lampoon’s Vacation” verbatim, ending with Clark saying “roll ‘em up!” after the car got hit by laser crossfire. That’s not a joke. It’s not insightful, or in any way satirical, or creative, it’s just a thing that happened in a movie. It is literally a line from “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” and they are reminding you of it. The movie totally happened!! Remember, everyone?? Pointing out that fact equals a joke, right?

After the jump, a 20 second clip that sums up my entire argument:

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On today’s Judge Joe Brown, a professional Chewbacca impersonator was… you know what? Do I need to type more than that? Today on Joe Brown, one of the defendants was a professional Chewbacca impersonator. That’s all I need to say. That, and he ended up winning.

• SNAPPY COMEBACK: Dina Lohan responded to her husband’s recent verbal bashing, saying “Now the world will know why eight people were issued criminal stay away orders of protection until 2011 against Michael Lohan.” Ohhh, snap!! If this family weren’t in a wonderful place right now, I’d think they were in trouble! (24/Sizzler)
• OVERCOMPENSATION: Miss South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton, is narrating a geography quiz over at People.com. How long before Amy Poehler does an impression of her on SNL and she walks out onstage in the middle? (People)
• CHICK FACTORY: Boba Fett and Chewbacca were on hand to pass on Luke Skywalker’s original lightsaber to a NASA space shuttle. They then settled down for a game of Magic: The Gathering while writing Lord of the Rings fan fiction to further seal their place in the Guinness Book of World Records for “Nerdiest Event In History.” (Star Wars Blog, via Defamer)
• MAGICAL BRA: Kate Walsh of “Grey’s Anatomy” fame recalls a haunting tale of a cursed bra which turned her face to stone. (A Socialite’s Life)
• INSTANT REPLAY: As much as I love this video of someone getting hit by a skateboard and whining, the slow motion version is even funnier.

When we first caught wind of Dramatic Chipmunk a little over a week ago, we fell in love. So much so that we IMed this little image to all of our friends, with a proverbial “:)” attached. Then, slowly but surely, a smattering of e-mails began to arrive with headlines urging us to “Check This Out Right Now!”, and we did… only to find the same… dramatic… chipmunk (yes, we know, it’s a prairie dog, just work with us here, OK?) We thought “Here we go, it’s an internet phenomenon.” Then, yesterday, MAYHEM. Dozens upon dozens of e-mails linking us up to the same 5-second clip of a little Japanese rodent turning around. Parodies began popping up all over the place — well documented by us yesterday. Then, the ultimate in trend-killers: An e-mail from our Dear Mother, asking us if we’ve seen “the adorable little squirrel video”.

That’s when it became clear: The Dramatic Chipmunk has jumped the shark. Much like Borat and the Star Wars Kid before it, oversaturation has caused it to lose its humor. To honor this day, we bring you video of the Dramatic Chipmunk literally jumping the shark — even Ron Howard approves! And from here on out, we swear to never bring this guy up again. Thank you for your patience.

Whether or not you’ve seen Star Wars 800 times, whether or not you’ve camped out for 3 weeks, forfeiting your job and your family, in order to be the first person to see Darth Vader’s arms burned off in a river of fire, whether or not your plastered your walls with gigantic Tiger Beat-style posters of Mark Hamill, whether or not you are a virgin, whether or not you hang onto a dream that one day, Earth and intergalactic space aliens will somehow peacefully co-exist, and whether or not you are still even reading this nonsense… Robot Chicken’s Star Wars will crack you up. It also answers the question: What would Conan O’Brien look like as a space alien? Here’s the entire episode, we highly recommend it.

“F**k me!!! A storm trooper in the Ramada Inn bathroom! Please don’t kill me! Ahh… wai– oh, huh-ha-ha, that’s just my incredibly authentic costume. So… guess I’ll just pee and be off.” (slowly backs away, runs out of toilet)

It’s Star Wars‘ 30th Anniversary! Leave your captions in the comments.

BWE.tv stopped by Adult Swim’s upfront last night, which was an enjoyably bizarre party where giant mascot milkshakes and French fries roamed the room and most shows had an interactive station set up to convince the attending advertisers to hurl money at them. BWE.tv figured it would be a good chance to get the scoop on the recently announced Robot Chicken: Star Wars special that will air on June 17. The special will feature Star Wars toys acting out comedy sketches in the usual stop-motion, Chicken style, and was made all buddy-buddy like with Lucasfilm. Uncle George even lends his voice to the show.

At the party’s Robot Chicken station, the Star Wars special was playing on a loop in a two-person peep booth. Chicken creators Seth Green and Matthew Senreich hung out nearby, sometimes joined by a roving mascot of the show’s titular android poultry. (See pic. That’s Seth on the left, Matt on the right, Chicken in the middle. Drinks were had by all.) The guys took a moment to tell us about the show. Read the quick interview after the jump.

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