FRIDAYS AT 11PM ET INFO
20
Wednesday
6:30pm
…Of The Day

rockybalboabigposter.jpg

  • JESUS FREAK: Sylvester Stallone is saying that the script for Rocky Balboa was inspired by the teachings of Jesus. Like turning the other cheek. (SF Gate)
  • SLOPPY SECONDS: Britney Spears’ friendship with Paris Hilton is rumored to have cooled because the pop princess was involved with one of Paris’ exes? Though in Brit’s defense, is there anyone who ISN’T one of Paris’ exes? (The Scoop)
  • SERIAL DIVORCEE: Eminem’s latest divorce from Kim Mathers has been finalized, making the rapper the only person in the world who has been divorced more than they’ve been married. (E! Online)
  • TERROR ALERT: In these uncertain times, we can never be too cautious of the threat of terrorists. Therefore, the TSA is now requiring all babies be X-rayed at security checkpoints. (CBS News)
  • REASON IT’S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP: A convicted pimp has made an educational video warning teen girls about the dangers of prostitution. The biggest danger is not bringin’ enough of that money back to yo’ pimp. (AZ Star)
6:00pm
The 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006, #8: The 10 Best Movie Cliches of The Year

10best22.JPGIt’s only the third day of our 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006, but we’ve already tackled two of the biggest issues yet: The Top 10 Celebrity Body Parts of the year and the Top 10 Reasons to Hate Singing & Dancing in 2006. Today we’re shifting our attention to the big screen and counting down the 10 Best Movie Cliches of the year. If it was in theaters at some point during the past 12 months, chances are it’s on this list. Not The Lake House, though. We missed that one.

mov - departed.jpg10. ‘The’ Movies are the new ‘The’ Bands
Way back in 2001 everybody was talking about the influx of ‘The’ bands that came popping out of the woodwork. The Strokes, The White Stripes, The Hives and The Vines ushered in a new wave of music that people were excited about (for approximately 9-15 months.) This year, we were treated to a whole new batch of The ______s in theaters. The Illusionist, The Marine, The Queen, The Guardian, The Sentinal, The Benchwarmers, and The Departed were just a few. Let’s hope that this trend disappears faster than those “Get Free” guys.

9. Sequels that nobody everybody’s been waiting for!
mov - instinct.jpgEvery year we’re blessed with a bunch of sequels that are guaranteed to a) make a lot of money and b) be terrible. In 2006, though, they added another item to the list: c) make sure it’s a sequel to a franchise that should’ve died years ago. How else could you explain Basic Instinct II? Why else would Sylvester Stallone release Rocky VI? Did anybody else really expect a Van Wilder 2 nearly four years after the original? Hey, we even had Superman Return. What’s left? I’m shocked there wasn’t a Short Circuit III. Maybe next year.

8. Talking animals, people. Talking! Animals!
Over The Hedge: talking rodents. Happy Feet: talking penguins. Barnyard: talking farm animals. Ant Bully: talking ants. Sadly, most of the dialogue spoken by animated animals in 2006 was probably better than most of the dialogue spoken by actual people. Writers in Hollywood might want to get on that.

Read the rest of this entry »

8
Friday
11:00am
TRAILER MIX: Rocky Fights For My Ticket Purchase

You know, I sat down to make fun of the trailer for the upcoming Rocky sequel Rocky 6: The Alzheimers Beatdown, but I’ve gotta say, I think I sort of want to see this. Am I still just talking hungover nonsense after last night’s MTV Networks Holiday Party/Vodka Guzzlefest, or does this underdog actually look decent? You make the call!

(SIDE NOTE: Mason Dixon is the worst boxer name since Soda Popinski.)

27
Monday
10:00am
While You Were Preparing For Your 5th Consecutive Turkey Lunch
    zarf.jpg
  • All My Children will introduce a transgender character named Zarf this week. Um… Zarf? At least they’re not making it weird or anything.
  • Kevin Federline claims the reason Americans hate him is because he took our queen. He continued, “…to Taco Bell once. And I paid. Word. How ya like me now?”
  • Hilary Duff and boyfriend Joel Madden rely on the paparazzi to help them end their fights. Proving, once again, that celebrities are just like us.
  • A woman is accused of hacking into Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington’s cell phone to steal phone numbers and threaten his wife. The woman will be forced to go through a psychological evaluation, but only because she classified herself as a Linkin Park fan.
  • Sylvester Stallone was put on a strict sex ban during the filming of Rocky Balboa. Producers insisted that if the old man was going to break a hip, they wanted it to be in the ring.
20
Thursday
1:21pm
ICYMI: Rocky Balboa Looks Totally Fly

Rocky Balboa, the highly anticipated sixth sequel in the Rocky franchise, will be poorly enunciating its way to theaters this Christmas. But for those of you too pumped on roids to wait another six months for Sly Stallone’s stair-climbing goodness, worry not. In Living Color had the comedic intuition to make their own Rocky 6 way back in 1990. You might need to drink some water while watching: Seeing Jim Carrey actually be funny is cause for an aneurysm. Also, we’re not sure what the deal is with those foreign-looking subtitles, but we pray that the real Rocky Balboa will follow suit. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to slap some bracelets on my wrists and practice my Fly Girl routine.


19
Wednesday
6:20pm
…Of The Day
    paris-love-doll.jpg

  • 100% NOT GAY: Oprah & Gayle. Don’t believe them? Then just watch this clip of Gayle on The View. (ifilm)
  • EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT: The Paris Hilton sex doll. I thought this came out already… it’s called Paris Hilton. (Popbytes)
  • WORSE IDEA THAN ROCKY 6: HIV Positive boxer Tommy “Gun” Morrison from Rocky V wants to fight “Iron” Mike Tyson from Mike Tyson’s Punchout. There will be no winners. (Deadspin)
  • MANNY: Britney’s got a new one. The woman goes through Mannys like cans of Red Bull. (Blog NYC)
  • SUMMER SHOW: If you’re in NY, check out the UCB’s Theatre In The Park tonight, starring Paul Scheer, Rob Huebel and a whole slew of others. Wackiness will most certainly ensue. (Paul Scheer)
7
Friday
10:30am
ICYMI: Rocky’s Bout With Old Age, Irrelevance

rocky.jpgTake a few minutes from your grueling workday to watch this trailer for the upcoming (and unnecessary) Rocky sequel. Be sure to look closely into the eyes of Rocky Balboa as he pontificates the inherent dangers of facing a challenge that makes Ivan Drago look like Glass Joe - the fact that he just turned 60 years old and still trying to be a boxer even though everyone sort of lost interest in him when the Cold War ended. As it so often does, art seems to be imitating life in that Sylvester Stallone, like the character he made famous, is struggling with his own fading star, desperately fighting to stay on his feet in these late rounds of his acting career. Can the legendary fighter - and the actor who created him - overcome the odds and pull out an inspiring victory, or is somebody ’bout to get knocked the f*ck out? No matter what happens, we’ll always have a veggie tray with his name on it.