Also, according to Jackie Ramos, a rep for Wicked Pictures, one of the biggest adult producers: "It's a lot less expensive to use HD DVD." She didn't elaborate as to the exact economics of it but Wicked this week put its money where its mouth is by releasing the first HD DVD adult video, Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre, at the AVN trade show is Las Vegas. Like I said, I don't know much about porn but now that the industry is apparently leaning towards HD DVD, I'm even more happy that I've chosen to embrace the format using the player attached to my XBox 360. Like the VHS vs Beta "war" before it, this new format war may also be settled by porn producers with HD DVD coming out on top and becoming the standard.
Porn Industry Prefers HD DVD to Blu-Ray?
Also, according to Jackie Ramos, a rep for Wicked Pictures, one of the biggest adult producers: "It's a lot less expensive to use HD DVD." She didn't elaborate as to the exact economics of it but Wicked this week put its money where its mouth is by releasing the first HD DVD adult video, Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre, at the AVN trade show is Las Vegas. Like I said, I don't know much about porn but now that the industry is apparently leaning towards HD DVD, I'm even more happy that I've chosen to embrace the format using the player attached to my XBox 360. Like the VHS vs Beta "war" before it, this new format war may also be settled by porn producers with HD DVD coming out on top and becoming the standard.
Now They're Just Throwing Darts at a Board: Motel Hell is Being Remade
For every half-decent re-do like Dawn of the Dead, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Hills Have Eyes, I'm asked to struggle through a virtually endless deluge of worthless non-horror flicks that exist SOLELY because, well, people recognize the name. (You don't think Dimension remade Black Christmas because they thought they could somehow improve upon the original, do you? Hell no, they made it because "Black Christmas" is a good title -- and one that sparks a few memory synapses in even the most casual horror geek.)
So what new remake announcement was it that spurred my latest ranting rave? Well jeez, it sure looks like someone's aiming to remake Motel Hell now. (Right now you're thinking one of two things: Either a) Wow, why remake that wacko little flick? or b) There's actually a movie called Motel Hell?") Yep, there is. It's a surprisingly amusing 1980 horror flick about a cannibalistic family that kidnaps motorists and plants them in a garden for later consumption. Both tongue-in-cheek and slathered with gore, Motel Hell might not be a cult classic among the hardcore horror set, but I think it's got a fairly solid reputation -- among those who've actually seen it.
Anyway, yeah: According to Fango, MGM has a Motel Hell remake on their schedule for December 7, despite the fact that they don't seem to have a script, a director or a cast just yet. I'm still trying to figure out why they're even bothering.
Cinematical Seven: Films I'm Looking Forward to at Sundance
Sundance is, like any major film festival, too many films in too little time in too confined a space. Synopsis spills upon synopsis; buzz can wind up just being onomatopoeia. But even a cursory spin through the film catalog reveals movies which, for whatever reason, you want to watch. This isn't the full list, nor does it reflect those sudden gems you stumble across or become aware of, but anyone getting ready to go to Park City next week has a list of about seven films they really want to see. And right now, those seven are, for me:
Continue reading Cinematical Seven: Films I'm Looking Forward to at Sundance
How Hannibal Became a Cannibal
Y'know ... I've been pretty down on this project from the word go, but I'd be lying if I said the trailer did absolutely nothing for me. Even if the flick's just a well-shot period-piece slasher-type confection, I bet I could have a pretty good time with Hannibal Rising. (Maybe.) Written by Thomas Harris (adapted from the novel by, yes, Thomas Harris) and directed by the man who last brought you Girl with a Pearl Earring, HR seems to promise (at the very least) a juicily slimy lead performance by Frenchman Gaspard Ulliel as, yes, Hannibal Lecter. Well, the young version of Hannibal Lecter who stalks, slices and snacks on the evil bastids what killed his family in the war, anyway. And since it's an absolute certainty that this
Plus the supporting cast is suitably colorful: We got Dominic West, Rhys Ifans, Gong Li and Kevin McKidd, so that helps a little. The flick opens (wide, get it?) on February 9, and if you're worried about the content, gorehounds, you needn't bother: Hannibal Rising is rated R for "strong grisly violent content and some language/sexual references."
(Feedback request: What did you think of the new trailer? I want to hear from the long-time Lecterites and the series newbies as well.)
More on Zombie's Stay at the Grindhouse
I Just Can't Get Enough of These PG-13 Haunted House Movies!
Written by Mark Wheaton (Firestorm: Last Stand at Yellowstone) from a story by Todd Farmer (Jason X), The Messengers seems to be about a teenage girl who sees spooky spirits after her family moves into a dusty old house. Imagine that.
If there's a saving grace here (aside from it being a horror movie and therefore something I must see eventually) it could be the cast: Kristen Stewart, Penelope Ann Miller, Dylan McDermott and John Corbett can usually contribute enough for a half-decent 90-some minutes. Either way, you can expect a PG-13 all the way from The Messengers, as it hails from Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures, the diet-horror production shingle that gave you Boogeyman and The Grudge 2. Let's just hope the movie's a lot better than the trailer. The Messengers opens on February 9.
Review: Primeval
Step right up, ladies and gents, and get a peek at the amazing three-headed undercooked movie! It's Primeval, folks, and it's a horror flick, an action movie and an unintentional comedy at the same time! But wait, there's more! Not only is this sad and somewhat sorry excuse for a matinee packing two more genre formulae than it actually needs, but it also hits the screens more than three months before its due date! It's a stompin', chompin' lunatic romp, my friends! Thrill at the unfinished CGI! Shriek at the outrageously silly crocodile footage! Chuckle at the downright ineptitude of the plot holes, the doofy dialogue and the egregious editorial mishaps! Hurry now, moviegoers, because Primeval is sure to vanish from your local multiplex in the time it took you to say "Wow, I've never even heard of this movie!"
And yet, despite all that, I still had a halfway-decent time with the 100-some minutes of Primeval, if only in a campy, kooky cheese-fest sorta way -- but what's a little bit irritating is that the flick has just enough quality components to make you annoyed the movie's not a whole lot better. Then again, you'd have to be a pretty big schlock-lover to be able to locate the few stray nuggets of giddy entertainment buried within such a half-baked movie. But they're in there, believe me.
Hatchet Maker Prepares to Head Dead West
But no! Thanks to the power of horror geekdom, it looks like Green has handed over the writing duties to Mr. Foreman, which means the flick won't have to wait another seven years to get rolling. (Maybe only three.) According to Bloody-Disgusting.com, the Rick Spears & Rob G. graphic novel will be directed by Green and written by Foreman ... and wait till you hear what it's about: Native American zombies! Green explains it most colorfully:
"Just imagine one of the Leone spaghetti westerns... if the Indians came back from the dead and could still fight as viscously and intelligently as they could have in life. Forget what you've seen the undead do - no lumbering about, moaning, eating brains, tired sh!t - these are hardcore PISSED off Indians that just so happen to be decomposed and horrific looking. This is going to be brutal."
Also on deck from Mr. Green is Spiral, a dramatic thriller that stars Joel Moore, Amber Tamblyn and Zachary Levi and has just begun hitting the festival circuit.
Free Parking: Your First Look at the Horror Flick P2
There's no lasting money in the beauty of plastic bags. American Beauty was Wes Bentley's lone gem among a handful of low-buzz releases. However, as an expert of the creepy stare, it's no surprise that he's diving into the darker films like the upcoming P2.
The locale makes sense. I've been in the
Caption This Winners: Snakes on a Plane DVD Prize Package!
Okay, you folks were out of control with your submissions this go-round, and I think I'm officially sick of reading the words 'motherf**kin' snakes' in the same sentence. No more, I say! No more. Last month, we asked you to come up with the best caption for the above picture, and 82 of you stepped up to the plate with some -- shall I say -- "creative" stuff. It was definitely tough choosing the winners, but after a slew of late-night Taco Bell contest meetings, we here at Cinematical finally managed to select our top five captions. Once again, here's what all five winners will receive:
1 Copy of the brand spanking new Snakes on a Plane DVD (full screen version).
1 Copy of the official Snakes on a Plane movie soundtrack.
1 Snakes on a Plane shirt.
1 Snakes on a Plane hat.
1 Set of Iron On Images (which you can use to design your very own nifty SOAP shirt).
Check out the winning caption and the runners-up after the jump (keep in mind everyone wins the same package) ...
Continue reading Caption This Winners: Snakes on a Plane DVD Prize Package!
Trailer Park: We Are the Weird
I've been told more than once that I have a passion for the bizarre. The subject usually comes up when someone asks about the life-size statue of Anson Williams in my living room, or why my rottweiler is wearing a French maid costume (it's only when he's vacuuming). Donnie Darko and the films of David Lynch are great for many reasons, but I love the fact that they're so unabashedly weird. They wear their weirdness like a red badge of -- well, weirdness. None of the trailers in today's Trailer Park are quite that odd, but each has a quality that puts it about half a bubble off center.
Reno 911: Miami
I know what you're thinking. What's so weird about Reno 911? Isn't that the Cops parody show from Comedy Central? True enough, but if you've ever seen Thomas Lennon as Lieutenant Jim Dangle wearing those horrifically tiny shorts, you wouldn't be asking "what's weird about this one?" If you like the series -- and I think it can be hilarious at times -- I imagine you'll like the film as well. The incompetent members of the Reno Nevada Sheriff's department are invited to a police convention in Miami Beach. When a biological threat quarantines the entire Miami Beach Police Department, our heroes (such as they are) are pressed into service. Amping up the weird quotient is the fact that there's an option to view the trailer with audio commentary from the cast, speaking in character. Martha Fischer first mentioned this film here on Cinematical about a year ago. The film opens February 23.
Kaw
I suppose it speaks well of Alfred Hitchcock's talent that his films are still being ripped off so long after his death. Sean Patrick Flannery of Boondock Saints fame plays a small town sheriff with only one day left on the job when his town comes under attack by a conspiracy of ravens (not to be confused, mind you, with a murder of crows). Much pecking and gouging ensue. Seagulls they ain't, but this still plays a lot like The Birds. Strictly B-movie fair, the trailer has a dark creepy look to it, and I suspect this will go straight to DVD.
The Best Canadian Horror Flick Since ... Ummmm...
But then there were scheduling problems, one missed screening and a small bout with the flu ... but I was able to catch Maurice Deveraux's End of the Line in the Festival's "video bank" section, which is where you can catch up on movies you missed -- if you don't mind watching 'em with headphones on a 21-inch screen. But it was a horror movie, and so I grabbed a soda and hit the video bank. And despite a pretty slow start, I really kinda dug End of the Line. (You can tell I did because this brand-new trailer says "Four Stars - Intense! -- Scott Weinberg" in it, and they couldn't use that quote if I hadn't actually written those words. (OK, word.)
Anyway, End of the Line is a pretty enjoyable horror tale that depicts the Armageddon-ish events that inevitably occur when a worldwide cult decides that TONIGHT is when all the "non-believers" will perish. Like with knifes and axes and stuff. The flick takes place mostly inside of a creepy subway tunnel, but there's more than enough carnage afoot to keep even the oldest gorehounds happy. Not saying it's a brilliant piece of horror, but I still stand by "Intense!" -- cuz it kinda is. Sorry to say I have no news on a domestic release date just yet, but of course I'll let you know when such information becomes available. I was just psyched about the trailer.
(Oh yeah, Ginger Snaps! The best Canadian horror movie since Ginger Snaps.)
BAFTA Nominees Announced
There's no denying that people just love something about this film, but it's interesting that Collete scored a nom. Breslin is great in the film, but Collette's restrained performance didn't seem to stand out much, competing against the trio of Arkin, Greg Kinnear and Steve Carrell, so it's nice to see BAFTA recognizing her work there.
Joining the little-comedy-that-could in the Best Picture berth are Babel, The Departed, The Last King of Scotland, and The Queen. The Last King of Scotland and The Queen were also nominated in the Best British Film Category; it's likely, if one of those wins, it will be in that slot, leaving Babel and The Departed to duke it out with little Abigail and the yellow VW bus.
This marks Alejandro González Iñárritu's second Best Picture nom, with Babel already nommed for a Best Picture Golden Globe, while fellow Amigos Alfonso Cuarón and Guillermo del Toro once again get left out in the cold). Innaritu is also a Directors Guild of America nominee. Del Toro did get a nod for his film, Pan's Labyrinth, in the Best Foreign Picture category, where he's up against Apocalypto (James might just have a stroke if that one wins), Black Book, which was getting heavy buzz for awhile at Toronto, Rang de Basanti (Paint it Yellow) and Volver.
Best Actor nominations include Leonardo DiCaprio (The Departed), Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland), Peter O'Toole (Venus), Richard Griffiths (The History Boys) and Daniel Craig (Casino Royale). Don't look for the latter two to carry much weight with Oscar noms. If I were betting on this one, my money would be on O'Toole to take this one. Best Actress, much like the Globe noms, pits the formidable British trio of Helen Mirren, Judi Dench and Kate Winslet against Penelope Cruz for Volver. Whereas the Globes rounded out the Best Actress court with Maggie Gyllenhaal for Sherrybaby, the BAFTAs toss in some love for Meryl Streep for The Devil Wears Prada. Prada also scored noms for Emily Blunt for Best Supporting Actress and Adapted Screenplay.
Children of Men, sadly, continues to get ignored for the big categories, although it scored noms for cinematography and production design. I'm not sure what exactly happened to derail this film's chances for major awards; it's critically lauded, it's done decent box office, and it was on all kinds of top ten lists, but for whatever reason it's getting overlooked for the majors, which is a shame.
Full list of BAFTA noms after the jump:
Exclusive SXSW Horror Update!
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
First the panel news: The event ("Panel of the Dead: Horror Films of Today") will be held on March 11, with AICN's Harry Knowles moderating the discussion. Panelists will include Mr. Roth, filmmaker Scott Glosserman (Behind the Mask), producer Lauren Moews (Cabin Fever, Borderland) and yes, yours truly, because if you're going to invite a film critic to sit in on a horror panel, you should probably choose one who actually appreciates the fine art of cinematic horror ... as I so definitely do. (There may be some more panelists announced down the road, so stay tuned!)
But what about the movies? Well, in addition to the aforementioned Hostel: Part 2 clip, SXSW attendees will be able to enjoy the following fright-centric flicks:
Borderland (World Premiere) -- Sean Astin, Rider Strong and the amazingly gorgeous Mircea Monroe star in this tale of lost kids, wrong turns and human sacrifices.
Grimm Love (North American Premiere) -- Before he was handed the reins on the upcoming Hills Have Eyes 2, German filmmaker Martin Weisz created this unpredictable (and fairly controversial) tale of hardcore cannibalism. (Over the past year or so, I've been asked "Have you seen Grimm Love yet?" at least a dozen times.)
Mulberry Street (North American Premiere) -- SXSW producer Matt Dentler described this one to me as "Zombies overtake New York, only they're like Rat-Zombies. It's pretty damn wild." Sign me up.
Sisters (U.S. Premiere) -- All I know is that it's a remake of the Brian De Palma flick, and it stars Stephen Rea and Chloe Sevigny ... which is all I need to get at least somewhat interested.
Them (U.S. Premiere) -- A French chiller also known as Ils, it's about a couple who get absolutely terrorized by a group of unseen assailants. And by "unseen," that means by the audience as well.
...and of course the SXSW brain-trust has its collective eye on a few more horror titles, so if you feel like visiting Austin and you really like scary, spooky, splattery movies -- I say you make your trip mid-March.
Danielle Harris to Return to Halloween Country (and Maybe Naked,Too!)
Played by Nancy Loomis in John Carpenter's original Halloween, Annie Brackett is the brunette one who ends up on the business end of a ... Oh, my bad. I almost went all spoiler-y on you. The very idea that there's a movie freak out there who hasn't seen Halloween is just too weird to imagine, but I guess it's possible.
In juicily related news, Bloody-Disgusting.com reports that in the casting paperwork, it was made pretty clear that this role would require a small amount of nakedness ... and I'm just sure that piece of information made it into the public domain by pure accident. Rob Zombie would never try to sell a movie by blatantly promising some bare breasts. (I'm kidding; of course he would.)
Still no word on who'll be playing the old Jamie Lee Curtis character, but Zombie seems to enjoy dropping new cast info on any day that ends in a Y.