Ready for this one my dear Cinematical readers? Apparently, the folks running Chicago's German Christkindlmarket this year have decided to drop New Line as a sponsor because they're afraid advertisements for The Nativity Story will offend non-Christians. WTF? Oh yes, a festival that has the word 'Christ' in its name refuses to have anything to do with a movie about the dude's birthday. This is the same event that kicks off its month-long festivities with a "holiday" tree lighting ceremony presented by the one and only Christmas Fairy. No, it's not a Christmas tree, it's a Holiday tree -- and the Christmas Fairy just happened to show up because Chanukah Harry was too busy that day. Right? Not for nothing, but something tells me the PC Fairy showed up a bit early, high as a kite. And, personally, I'd love to ask the PC Fairy two questions: What are you on and can I have some please?
The entire situation was perfectly summed up by a rep from New Line, who said, "We don't understand why our sponsorship would be rejected for religious reasons, particularly considering the fact that our film details the story that inspired the holiday season that the Christkindlmarket was created to celebrate." Can I get an Amen to that! I mean, how much harm can a movie poster cause? I assume New Line wasn't going to set up a booth and use some of its staff to re-create the birth of Jesus -- although something like that would have been fun to watch. Besides, anyone who attends a Christmas-themed festival and complains about an advertisement for The Nativity Story should lay off the egg nog, put down the American Express card and look up the word 'moron' in the dictionary -- because there's a good chance their picture would be right there beside its definition.
Knowing almost nothing about this filming of The Nativity Story before I went to see it, I imagined that I might enjoy it if, somehow, Joseph and Mary were shrunk down to human dimensions. The trials of two young adults on a 100-mile foot journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem, attempting to make King Herod's April 15th tax deadline, could make a decent yarn. Unfortunately, director Catherine Hardwicke had something different in mind. She forgoes a reality-based rendering of the myth in favor of a heap of prophecy-babble and a weirdly off-topic astrology subplot, both of which plant the film on uneasy ground in the realm of signs and wonders. The couple's journey is prompted by a visit from a descending angel who looks, incredibly, like a Commodores-era Lionel Richie. He clues them that they are inside The Greatest Story Ever Told, and from then on, Mary (Keisha Castle-Hughes) and Joseph (Oscar Isaac) speak of the fetus Jesus as if he's already turned water into wine. If you've ever been around new parents, you know how annoying that can be.
As the power couple descend on Bethlehem, we are forced to endure a B-story involving the three 'wise men' of scripture, crazily interpreted here as a trio of sideshow occultists who live in a dusty lair filled with cheap-looking pieces of astrology equipment and maps that look like kiddie placemats from Denny's. When used together, they can apparently foretell the birth of celebrities. These wise men made me want to pull my hair out. They engage in endless, pointless bantering about which star-map will get them to the Messiah's birthplace, while tossing off one-liners that were old when Shecky Green was a boy, nevermind Jesus. If the film has a weakest link, it's these scenes. They're so self-parodic that they seem purposefully inserted to kill whatever religious buzz the true believers in the audience might build up. Shouldn't a story about the birth of God be told with a straight face? Is the source material really so thin that this kind of filler, not fit for Saturday morning cartoons, had to be included?
The story of Eddie Mongon is perfect for the movies; he spent 10 years robbing trains with high-tech gadgets and creative street smarts. Leading a gang with the catchy name of The Conrail Boyz, Mongon became known as a real-life Robin Hood, a man who lavished the proceeds of his robberies onto his impoverished neighborhood in Hoboken, New Jersey. New Line had already purchased the rights in 2004, but a new announcement in Variety reports that they have now signed writer-director Ericson Core (Invincible) to direct Conrail, the life story of the "benevolent" career criminal.
The movie, which is being marketed as half coming-of-age story and half heist flick, follows Mongon through his criminal education to his eventual arrest in 2004. Mongon ran a gang of dozens of teens who robbed freight trains and transport trucks for profits that ran up into the millions. Police never caught him, but when his girlfriend and mother were charged with money laundering, he turned himself over to authorities. New Line already had a working script with Chris Murphey, but Core will be pulling double duty overseeing a re-write of the story. Core seems to have a flair for biography, as he will also be at the helm for the biopic Liberty, an action- thriller about the winner of the 1946 Boston Marathon who fled the Nazi occupation of Greece. No casting announcements have been made for Conrail, but there should be plenty of spots up for grabs for those assorted Hollywood "It" boys.
New Line decided to push back the release of Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny by one week in order to steer clear of Casino Royale and Happy Feet's openings, as well as to capitalize on a five-day Thanksgiving weekend. Did the move pay off? Hardly. Pic, which debuted on Wednesday, fell short of even landing in the top ten taking home a measly $3.3 million (counting Friday through Sunday only). So much for that whole destiny part, huh?
The big winners this weekend were, not surprisingly, Happy Feet ($37.9 million) and Casino Royale ($31 million) -- both of which finished number one and two respectively. The animated penguin flick crossed the $100 million mark in only 10 days, grossing an estimated $51.5 million over the course of all five days. Bond was not far behind, racking up $94.1 million throughout its first 10 days. The names Tony Scott, Jerry Bruckheimer and Denzel Washington were enough to land Deja Vu ($20.8 million) in third place, while the abysmal (according to Kim, at least) Deck the Halls captured the fourth spot with $12 million. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan continued to impress, as it too jumped into $100 million territory -- pic rounded out the top five with $10.4 million, for a grand total (so far) of $109.3 million after four weeks. As expected, Darren Aronofsky's latest trippy adventure, The Fountain, didn't do too well in its opening weekend, yet managed to snag the ten spot from Tenacious D with $3.7 million.
Full numbers (Friday through Sunday only) after the jump.
You may remember seeing the name "Saul Zaentz" in the opening credits of Peter Jackson'sLord of the Rings movies. His name is also listed on the credits for the Ralph Bakshianimated version from 1978. So who is Saul Zaentz, anyway? He's the producer who, in 1976, bought the rights to Tolkien's works and, logically, started up a company called Tolkien Enterprises. So what that basically means is that New Line "leased" the LOTR rights from Zaentz ... and it looks like those rights will be reverting back to the guy some time next year.
And apparently Saul Zaentz really wants Peter Jackson to direct the Hobbit movie. Matter of fact, Showbiz Data is carrying a quote from Mr. Z that states the following: "It will definitely be shot by Peter Jackson." Hey, cool! The mega-millionaire also takes a quick little swipe at New Line for forcing Jackson to take legal action against the studio in an effort to get his Fellowship merchandising money. Heh. I like this Zaentz fella. And if he can manage to get Peter Jackson back into the director's chair for The Hobbit, well, I'll like him a whole lot more.
Had Sean Connery taken the lucrative deal that was presented to him in 1999 by New Line Cinema to play Gandalf the Grey in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy, he could have cleared up to as much as $434 million. Connery's squandered opportunity is the subject of a story in today's edition of The Scotsman, which gleaned the information from a passage in Brian Sibley's recent biography of Jackson. According to the piece, New Line was so worried about staking the Rings threesome without a single major, international star attached that they crafted for Connery a lavish backend deal similar to the one that lured Nicholson to play The Joker in 1989's Batman. Peter Jackson is quoted as saying that Rings executive producer Mark Ordesky told him "NewLine was prepared to give him [Connery] between 10 percent and 15 percent of the films' income." Had that happened, Connery would have cashed more scratch for a single project than any actor in history.
The famously prickly Connery has gone on record saying that he wouldn't have taken the role of the big-hatted wizard because "I never understood it. I read the book, I read the script, I saw the movie, and I still don't understand it." The book also implies that Jackson wasn't keen on casting Connery, either. "I couldn't imagine him wanting to spend eighteen months in New Zealand," Jackson says, which sounds like polite movie-talk for "Please don't come and spend eighteen months in New Zealand." I personally could see Connery as a quiet, reflective Obi-Wan type, but anyone who remembers The Rock knows how silly he looks with long hair, so his interpretation of Gandalf might not have gone over well.
As a longtime reader of TheOneRing.net, I've come to appreciate the website as a thorough, passionate and entirely trustworthy resource -- but their latest "scoop" is almost too delicious to bear. Now, I know we're all really upset about Peter Jackson stepping away from New Line's (eventually) impending Hobbit movie(s), but that's life in the big city, kids. Nobody would have done Tolkien's The Hobbit cinematic justice the way Jackson & Company would have, but it looks like we have to chin up and look forward to new possibilities ... like Sam Raimi perhaps?
Not at all dissimilar to Jackson himself, Mr. Raimi got his start with a few (very) well-received indie horror flicks before puttering around with some studio success and finally hitting paydirt with a mega-tentpole ultra-trilogy. And TOR.net is reporting that Raimi is being courted for the Hobbit gig. Heck, if New Line is trying to win the fans over after the Jackson disappointment, they sure seem to be getting off on the right foot. It's all speculation at this point, of course, but it sure is fun to imagine what Sam Raimi would do with a tale like The Hobbit.
So it might just all be a ridiuclous rumor, but a fun one nonetheless. I just want to know how Raimi's going to wedge Bruce Campbell into The Hobbit. Heh.
And we played the first thing that came to our heads, Just so happened to be, The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World. - Tenacious D, Tribute
It was back in 1994 when Jack Black and Kyle Gass first met as members of the Actor's Gang, an ensemble theater troupe founded by Tim Robbins. Up until that point, Black had appeared in small-ish parts in Airborne and Demolition Man, while Gass was barely noticeable in films like Jacob's Ladder and Brain Dead. Not long after that first meeting, the two discovered one very important thing they had in common: A love for rock and roll. Realizing they were far from a couple of gorgeous long-haired rockers, the two foregrounded their weaknesses while combining their love for comedy and music in a two-man band called Tenacious D. And, as they say -- the rest is history.
Shortly after performing their one and only song, Tribute, at Al's Bar in downtown Los Angeles, the duo garnered attention from comedian David Cross who subsequently helped Black and Gass land an appearance on Mr. Show. That led to three half-hour shorts on HBO, an album that quickly went platinum and a legion of fans who simply refer to their idols as "The D." Now, Black and Gass have somehow formed a story around the wacky, foul-mouthed lyrics to all their songs and used their pull in Hollywood to make a feature-length film called Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny. But is it really destiny ... or just a waste of time?
Well, this whole "Peter Jackson is off The Hobbit" story finally hit the trades today, arriving in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter. CNN also managed to throw something up about it too. Personally, it reminds me of some big nasty divorce battle, with MGM playing the part of the little kid who just wants the bickering to end so they can go live with Dad (played by Peter Jackson). And New Line has taken on the part of sadistic mother (note: not all mothers are sadistic, just the one in this scenario) -- a force hell-bent on keeping the luxurious home (ie: The Hobbit) all three once shared together.
Regardless, MGM still owns the distribution rights, so they will remain involved with this for now. And, like a typical kid, insist the Peter Jackson saga is not over ... yet. They remain optimistic, and I'm sure will do what they can to get mom and dad on the same page. However, like with most divorces, it's all about money -- and one can expect New Line not to budge even a tiny bit. In fact, they might already have a substitute dad in line to replace Jackson. According to Cinema Blend, they've received a few emails from different people who claim Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie) is at the top of the "How the f*ck do we replace Peter Jackson?" list. Granted, this is also the guy who brought us Alien: Resurrection (why do I feel as if some major LOTR fan just threw something at their computer). Yes, these are only rumors coming from anonymous people who may or may not have a clue -- but it's certainly a start.
Perhaps we should address the question: Who do you get to replace Peter Jackson?
Wow, this one really sucks and you hardcore LOTR fans will not be happy at all. Heck, I'm not the biggest LOTR junkie, but even I feel as if some gigantic ape creature just kicked me in the nuts ... repeatedly. The One Ring.net has just received an email from Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh that basically says he will not be directing The Hobbit nor this supposed second LOTR-based film. Why? Well, because he'd rather make a prequel to King Kong. (Kidding, but something tells me I'd prefer that move over the one that's going down as we speak.)
Okay, the real reason has to do with a lawsuit Jackson and company have pending against New Line that has to do with "certain accounting pratices" that took place following The Fellowship of the Ring. Recently, there was word that MGM was trying to obtain the rights to LOTR from New Line in order to make two films, one being an adaptation of The Hobbit. MGM claimed they were in talks with Peter Jackson. However, Jackson was not present for these talks, only MGM's vivid imagination was. According to Jackson, New Line will be going ahead with the films, but since Jackson refuses to make them until the lawsuit is discussed, New Line has told him they "would no longer be requiring our services on The Hobbit and the LOTR prequel." And if that doesn't jam the nail straight into the coffin inside our hearts, these final words from Jackson certainly will: "This outcome is not what we anticipated or wanted, but neither do we see any positive value in bitterness and rancor. We now have no choice but to let the idea of a film of The Hobbit go and move forward with other projects."
New Line is currently looking for another filmmaker to bring The Hobbit and that LOTR prequel to the big screen. That's the good news. The bad news? Both films will probably suck.
While attending the London world premiere of Casino Royale, MGM chief Harry Sloan talked a little bit about the studio's upcoming film slate, which (for the time being) includes those highly anticipated Hobbit films. Last we heard, MGM was in discussions with New Line for the rights to produce two Hobbit pics, though we weren't sure whether Peter Jackson would be involved or not. Most of you felt the same way I did -- no Jackson, no way. Well, the good news is Sloan admitted that MGM was in talks with Jackson to "make" (once again, we're not sure if that means as a director, a producer or both) two films based around the Lord of the Rings prequel.
And the bad news? Those discussions with New Line won't go anywhere until Jackson settles up a lawsuit he has with the studio over a ton of dough from the franchise that he feels he's entitled to. Drats. We hate lawsuits. However, Sloan felt confident the films would get made, and said that the first would be a direct adaptation of The Hobbit, while the second "would be drawn from footnotes and source material connecting The Hobbit with The Lord of the Rings." I'm not so sure about that second film, but the first one definitely needs to get made.
In case you're interested, Sloan talked more about The Pink Panther sequel, The Thomas Crown Affair follow-up and whether or not Rocky Balboa would continue to fight well into his 80s. Personally, I'd like to see a Rocky film that features him fighting over a game of Bingo in a retirement home. " Yo Adrian, I did it -- BINGO!"
Crazy movie premises are nothing new. Sometimes they make us think the moviemakers are on drugs. Other times, a completely mundane-sounding movie will be completely brilliant. Most fall into the former category, and it takes a talented team to slide the film into the latter. Yet time after time, we go to the movies and suspend our disbelief, hoping that the film will make it all worth it. I think that the news I am about to share might have been better served on a nice shelf rather than on-screen.
New Line has picked up a project called Birth Mother. The screenplay will be written by the team of Seth Bass and Jonathan Tolins. Their pens have been busy with features from next year's Martian Child, starring John Cusack and Amanda Peet, to Santa, Inc., the story of a girl whose billionaire father owns Santa Clause. Bass is relatively new to the 'biz, but Tolins has written a number of episodes for the US version of Queer as Folk.
The movie will be about a couple who cannot conceive. Instead of going to a sperm/egg bank or adopting, they turn to the women's controlling mother. Yes folks, the movie is about a bitchy mother-in-law who must carry her daughter's child. Bass has said that while this isn't something most people would choose, that we would relate to it. I'm not so sure about that. Family politics are tricky enough. Is this something you could do?
The Nativity Story will become the first film ever to premiere at the Vatican, the film's distributor has announced. The film, which is due to be released December 1, will be shown on Sunday, November 26 at the Vatican's Pope Paul VI Hall to an audience of appproximately 7,000 invited guests, including director Catherine Hardwick, actors Shohreh Aghdashloo and Oscar Isaac, producers Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey, and screenwriter Mike Rich. The screening will benefit the construction of a school in Mughar, Israel, 40 miles from Nazareth. Rolf Mittweg, New Line President and COO of Worldwide Distribution and Marketing, said of the film, "We are very proud of The Nativity Story and extremely grateful that the Vatican has embraced the film in this way," says Mittweg. "We believe it is the perfect venue to present the film's universal message of hope and faith, a message we are sure will resonate around the world."
Interestingly, the press release makes no mention of Keisha Castle-Hughes, the 16-year-old actress who plays Mary in the film -- who, it was announced last month, is now herself pregnant out of wedlock. I'm curious whether Castle-Hughes was invited to the Vatican affair; I would sincerely hope that she was, and that she herself chose not to attend for whatever reason.
Is The Nativity Story on your radar for your December movie-going? I want to see it, myself, if only to see Castle-Hughes, who I absolutely loved in Whale Rider. She's an enormously talented young actress, and I hope she'll keep making movies once she adjusts to motherhood.
Come on and listen to a story 'bout a man called Jay He killed a thousand people way back in the day He's been in 11 movies and he always comes back Cuz the gorehounds love the guy like a junkie digs crack.
Now if you wanna see all his murders in a row And you don't have time for a multi-movie show I'll give you all a tip on a place that's hip Head on down to JoBlo's for a YouTube clip!
(Yes kids that's right, we have ALL of Jason Voorhees' murders in one handy little 7-minute movie clip! He slices, he dices, he cooks 'em up with spices, ladies and gentlemen. No Friday the 13th is complete without JV's horrific arsenal of garden-variety flesh-piercers! We're talking hacksaws, hatchets and harpoons! Axes, arrows, machetes, spears, pitchforks, corkscrews, shears and knives! Um ... road flares, weed-whackers and electric guitars, too! Yes, there's nothing that Jason won't wield while trying to rid his peaceful forest home of those devious teenaged fornicators! And sometimes they smoke pot! Get 'em, Jason! So join us now in celebrating the fine work that Mr. Voorhees has done over the past quarter-century. Enjoy his full exploits -- without all that painful dialogue!)
It's been almost ten years since Tony Kaye'sAmerican History X debuted. Okay -- it's been exactly eight years last week, but it's been close enough to ten for the director to be prepping for a 10th Anniversary DVD. In order for everything to run smoothly with the special edition release, he's patched up things with New Line, the studio he fought with over the final cut of History, which was his first feature. In these eight years since that film's release, Kaye has not been able to put out another feature -- possibly because of his reputation following the New Line battle. However it's not as if Kaye was idle during that time-- and has been screening his newest project, a documentary about abortion titled Lake of Fire. The doc premiered in September at the Toronto International Film Festival, where it was reportedly well-praised, but Kaye's still trying to find distribution for it. It is unclear whether distributors are apprehensive in dealing with Kaye out of fear that he will put them through a similar battle as he had with New Line. Since Kaye claims to have spent 16 years and upwards of $8 million on the film, it would be a shame if no company bites with a substantial deal, especially since Kaye's announced that he does not need to make anymore changes to it, even though he kinda wants to.
In addition to shopping Lake of Fire, Kaye is keeping very busy and with many projects for the future. Aside from his success directing commercials and music videos (including the new Johnny Cash video for "God's Gonna Cut You Down"), he's apparently doing well as a director-for-hire and is currently working on special assignments for Johnson and Johnson and the United Arab Emirates. For his next fictional feature, he will be concentrating on a script by Robert McKee titled Madness (this would ironically be the first feature film written by McKee, who is famous for his books and seminars on the craft of screenwriting -- he is the guy portrayed by Brian Cox in Adaptation), which focuses on a doctor with a cure for schizophrenia who marries a former patient.
Ready for this one my dear Cinematical readers? Apparently, the folks running Chicago's German Christkindlmarket this year have decided to drop New Line as a sponsor because they're afraid advertisements for The Nativity Story will offend non-Christians. WTF? Oh yes, a festival that has the word 'Christ' in its name refuses to have anything to do with a movie about the dude's birthday. This is the same event that kicks off its month-long festivities with a "holiday" tree lighting ceremony presented by the one and only Christmas Fairy. No, it's not a Christmas tree, it's a Holiday tree -- and the Christmas Fairy just happened to show up because Chanukah Harry was too busy that day. Right? Not for nothing, but something tells me the PC Fairy showed up a bit early, high as a kite. And, personally, I'd love to ask the PC Fairy two questions: What are you on and can I have some please?.jpg)
The story of Eddie Mongon is perfect for the movies; he spent 10 years robbing trains with high-tech gadgets and creative street smarts. Leading a gang with the catchy name of The Conrail Boyz, Mongon became known as a real-life Robin Hood, a man who lavished the proceeds of his robberies onto his impoverished neighborhood in Hoboken, New Jersey. New Line had already purchased the rights in 2004, but a new announcement in Variety 
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As a longtime reader of 
Well, this whole "Peter Jackson is off The Hobbit" story finally hit the trades today, arriving in 
Crazy movie premises are nothing new. Sometimes they make us think the moviemakers are 
Come on and listen to a story 'bout a man called Jay
It's been almost ten years since 
