Wow. Either we have some really funny readers, or you guys were hitting the keg before you submitted your entries to our Caption This! Beerfest Unrated DVD Giveaway. We had a hard time narrowing down our winner and runners-up, but we finally managed to make a decision. Our winner will receive our fabulous Beerfest Unrated DVD Prize Package, which includes:
1 Completely, Totally Unrated Beerfest DVD
1 Navy Blue Bottle Opener Hat (Everyone who has seen this wants it!)
1 Black "Schnitzengiggle Tavern" Tee
1 Beer Mug Glasses (The kind you wear!)
1 Beautiful Beer Stein with Domed Lid
1 Alcohawk ™ Personal Breathalyzer (This is real and high-end.)
Our four runners-up will each receive a copy of the Beerfest Unrated DVD.
Wow, how the time flies. You only have until midnight PST tomorrow -- that's Tuesday, December 5 -- to get your funniest caption entry in for our beertastic Beerfest Unrated DVD Giveaway. I'm sure you've slept since then, so go back to the contest page and reread the rules, and then enter your entry in the comments. Do NOT enter your caption in this post, or it will not be considered. Enter the contest here. Right HERE.
Give it your best shot -- we have a fantastic prize package for you:
1 Completely, Totally Unrated Beerfest DVD
1 Navy Blue Bottle Opener Hat (Everyone who has seen this wants it!)
1 Black "Schnitzengiggle Tavern" Tee
1 Beer Mug Glasses (The kind you wear!)
1 Beautiful Beer Stein with Domed Lid
1 Alcohawk ™ Personal Breathalyzer (This is real and high-end.)
Four runners-up will win Beerfest Unrated DVDs. Pretty cool prize package, eh? So go enter the contest now for your chance to win!
In anticipation of the release of the Beerfest DVD (in both regular and unrated versions!) on December 5, we're bringing you one of the best prize package giveaways we've ever done for a Caption This! contest. You know the drill: Take a good look at the still from the movie above, then give us your best shot at a caption in the comments. The winning caption, as determined by either Erik's Magic 8 Ball or a team of highly-paid humor analysts (whichever gives the best pitch for why they should get the gig), will get this amazing prize package: 1 Completely, Totally Unrated Beerfest DVD
1 Navy Blue Bottle Opener Hat (Everyone who has seen this wants it!)
1 Black "Schnitzengiggle Tavern" Tee
1 Beer Mug Glasses (The kind you wear!)
1 Beautiful Beer Stein with Domed Lid
1 Alcohawk ™ Personal Breathalyzer (This is real and high-end.)
How's that for a great prize package? Four runners-up will win Beerfest Unrated DVDs. You love beer, you love Beerfest -- and even if you don't, hey, if you win you can wrap it all up and give it to your friends for Christmas. So put on those thinking caps, try out your caption ideas on your frat brothers or your mom, and get your captions in the comments. You have until midnight PST on December 5 to get your entries in.
Note:You MUST give a valid email address in order to activate your comment. Entries that are not activated by the reader will not be considered valid entries.
It took a while for us to narrow down all the entries in our A Prairie Home Companion DVD giveaway to five winners (actually, it didn't take that long, I was just being terribly lazy over the weekend). When we decided to use the above shot of Lindsay Lohan for this Caption This contest, we knew we'd get some good ones -- and you didn't disappoint us! Here are our winning entries:
"You can fix that in post, right?" -- submitted by reader Eric Blair
"What do you mean they can't see me. Radio? WTF?" -- submitted by reader Chris Muir
"I don't know where you got it, but this bong isn't working" -- submitted by reader Jeremy Parker
"We have a great show tonight... Lindsay Lohan is here! Yeah!!!! Wait... I'm Lindsay Lohan... I mean... Gwen Stafani is here!" -- submitted by reader Dorv
"Would the owner of black lacy panties claim them in the back... oh wait, those are mine." -- submitted by reader Ryan
Congrats to our winners! Official winner emails are winding their way to you through cyberspace even now; make sure you get us your mailing address so we can get your DVD to you!
We interviewed Red Doors director Georgia Lee and producer/actress Mia Riverton back at Sundance and now, at long, long last, their hard-fought indie film is getting a theatrical release. The film opens in New York September 8, in San Francisco Sept 22, and in Los Angeles on a date TBD. If the film does well at NYC, it will expand to other cities, maybe even one near you! The film tells the tale of the three daughters of an Asian family, whose father is suffering from a debilitating depression as his family grows older and needs him less. We've put together a great swag package for you for this contest: A poster autographed by the cast, and a copy of the script autographed by the writer/director. You know how it works: Enter your very clever caption in the comments below. You have until Thursday, Sept. 7 at 5PM EDT to enter. Winner, as selected by Cinematical (or maybe even by the director herself!) will get the swag. So what are you waiting for? Off with you, write something brilliant.
Had Simone been able to see what her aunt Maggie was pointing at through the binoculars, it would have driven her to drink. Sadly, she could see it pretty clearly without the binoculars...and even worse, the binoculars weren't real. They held a few shots worth of Jack Daniels. Simone took a swig, then took another. It was going to be one of those days...
Our winning caption this time around comes from the lovely Heather C, who somehow managed to resist the clearly powerful pull to mention either Jack Valenti or someone's penis her caption. As a result, she gets her very own "Censorship Gets F*cked" tshirt, as well as a hat that will allow her to both look like a badass AND help director Kirby Dick advertise the just-released This Film Is Not Yet Rated. Heather, please send your mailing info to kim.voynar@cinematical.com. The rest of you, sit tight: Another contest is coming tomorrow.
This must have been a tough one -- we had less fewer* entries than usual on our Lonesome Jim DVD giveaway. Nonetheless, we did have some creative attempts. The winner of the Lonesome Jim DVD, though is Alex D, for his entry: "With only 2 hours left in their 5 o'clock shadow contest, Steve knew he would have to do something drastic if he hoped to triumph over Jim."
Congratulations, Alex D. Email me at kim.voynar@cinematical.com with your shipping address, and we'll get your prize out to you. If you didn't win this time, don't be sad; we already have a new contest up and running for Kirby Dick's This Film Is Not Yet Rated, so give it a shot!
*In the midst of a flurry of spreadsheet preparations for Telluride and Toronto, I apparently forgot the rule that "less" is used when you can't count something, and "fewer" when you can (although my ability to count yesterday was indeed questionable by the time I banged out this post). Fortunately for Cinematical readers everywhere, the grammar police were on the case in our comments, and brought the tragic error to my attention. The world is now a safer place. Carry on.
Boy, we here at Cinematical are just swimming in swag for you folks lately. Write the best caption for the above still from Kirby Dick's This Film Is Not Yet Rated, and you'll win some cool promo items from the film: A t-shirt (black with white ink) that says on the front "Censorship Gets F*cked" (the back has the film's logo) and a military style hat with the film's logo. Please note the nature of these items, and if you are likely to be offended by a shirt bearing the "F" word, well, don't enter this contest.
The film delves into the murky waters of film ratings, examining whether Hollywood studio films and indies are rated equally for comparable content, whether gay-themed content is judged more harshly than similar heterosexual content, the always fun issue of extreme violence (which often gets a pass) versus sexuality (which tends more to end up on the cutting room floor), and -- most of all -- why the MPAA keeps its process such a deeply-guarded secret, and whether this allows the MPAA a free hand without being held accountable. The film has made the rounds of the fest circuit and is opening September 1in New York and Los Angeles, with wider release over the coming weeks. Rules are the same as always, folks. Enter your best caption in the comments. You have until 5PM EDT on Thursday, August 31 to leave your entry, and winner will be announced on Friday, September 1.
For more on This Film Is Not Yet Rated, read James Rocchi's review from Sundance, and keep an eye out for Martha's new one, coming on Thursday.
Lonesome Jim, helmed by actor-director Steve Buscemi, debuted at Sundance way back in 2005, made its way through the festival circuit, and is now finally getting a DVD release on August 28. The film, which stars Casey Affleck and Liv Tyler, is about a 27-year-old guy who, after failing miserably at making it on his own, moves back in with his parents -- kind of a "coming-of-age" tale, only the character should have come of age a few years back. Our own Christopher Campbell, who reviewed the film back in March, found it hilarious, and maybe you will, too. All you have to do is write the best caption for the above still from the film. The best entrant (as judged by a pack of trained flying monkeys I keep in my attic, or by Cinematical staff, whoever has more free time) will win a lovely DVD of Lonesome Jim. You know how to play, folks. Put on those thinking caps and take your best shot in the comments. You have until Sunday, August 27 at 5PM EDT to enter your caption. Winner will be announced next week.
As The Pin's & Tugger's attention became increasingly fixed on the cock, Ducky slowly moved in for the cookie kill.
Readers, you are officially brilliant. Not only did we get over 100 entries for this contest, but almost all of them were clever and hilarious -- and to think, we almost dismissed this pic as "too weird" and chose another. Never will we underestimate you again!
The winning caption comes from Dan (Dan, send your mailing info to Kim (dot) Voynar (at) cinematical (dot) com, and we'll get the DVD out to you ASAP), but there were so many good entries that a few other deserve recognition, as well. (And, just so we're clear, when I say "recognition," I mean "no material goods," but you do get bragging rights and the glory of everyone seeing your cleverness.) Check out some of the runners-up:
Grace Kim: "Much of Stephen Hawkings' youth was kept secret from his colleagues."
Shawn McGuan: "Neither one of them was willing to admit that even for a petting zoo, this one was particularly lame."
Sam: "The rare rooster-eating duck patiently hides out of sight, silently stalking its prey, waiting for right time to strike."
You may not have noticed, but everyone and his brother had something nice to say about Rian Johnson's directorial debut, Brick, when it was released earlier this year. Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt (AKA The Kid from Third Rock Who It Turns Out Is a Really Good Actor) as a high school gumshoe, the movie pushed all the right smart, hard-boiled, creative buttons, and pleased audiences and critics alike, even winning a Special Jury Prize at Sundance in 2005. Plus, the thing cost only $500,000. I don't think Michael Bay can even tie his shoes on that kind of a budget.
If you're someone who a)loved the movie, or b)hasn't seen it, we're here to help: Just give us the best caption for the above photo, and we'll send you a brand, spanking new copy of the just-released DVD. Who says we never did anything for you?
Put your entries in the comments; the contest closes at 5pm ET Friday.
In a controversial liberal teaching style, Dan teaches his class that no matter how hard they fight, a white man will always be there to put them down with a smile.
A round of applause, if you please, for Justin, this week's unhealthily cynical winner. Justin, when you recover enough from Friday night's debauchery to turn on your computer and do a bit of surfing, please send your snail mail address to James (dot) Rocchi (at) cinematical (dot) com, and we'll get that CD right out to you. The rest of you, go see Half Nelson -- everyone's doing it. Stay away, though, from the crack. You'll thank me later.
Half Nelson, a film that has wowed audiences at every festival it's hit and won awards for star Ryan Gosling's performance (he does drugs, teaches school, bond with kids -- that sort of thing), opens Friday, and to celebrate the blessed event, we're offering a still from the movie for you to mock. Hooray for mocking! Put your best captions in the comments, and the totally arbitrarily selected winner will get (in addition to world-wide fame, I mean) their very own copy of the film's soundtrack, featuring the music of Broken Social Scene. Not bad, huh? You can listen and fall in love with the band or hate it and sell the CD at your local indie record store -- really, it's a win-win situation. So, have at it: The deadline for entries is 5pm eastern time on Friday.
"Years later, Daphne and Fred retired from sleuthing, married and started their own business, using the Mystery Machine to give people rides to local shopping centers. Scooby and Shaggy's whereabouts are still unknown."
Man -- who knew people trapped in a van would lead to so many fart jokes? You people must have had some seriously bad road trips. Anyway, your winner, one of several submissions involving the ever-popular Scooby-Doo, was submitted by the great and powerful Patrick. Patrick, when you have a chance, please send your snail mail address to James (dot) Rocchi (at) cinematical (dot) com, so we can get that giant Bag o' Little Miss Sunshine Schwag in the mail.
Sorry, dear readers, but the folks at Fox Searchlight asked us to take down the photo we previously had up for this Caption This! Therefore, we are starting the contest over beginning right now -- 1:48PM EDT. Captions entered previously will not be counted and are being deleted so as not to give too much about the film away. Sorry about that, y'all had some good ones, too. - Ed.
In celebration of the upcoming release of Little Miss Sunshine -- one of the year's favorites for at least two of our writers -- we're dusting off the Caption This! game. This time, though, you get more than our respect and a lousy Cinematical tshirt. Instead, the winner will walk away with a prize pack including such glories as a Little Miss Sunshine poster and tshirt, in addition to other things so cool we can't even mention them in print. So, do you your worst: The deadline for entries (put them in the comments, please) is 5pm eastern time, Wednesday.
